dwanyewest

Should it be mentioned before hand?

107 posts in this topic

A couple of days I booked an escort in London and I travelled from outside London and was told she doesn't do people of colour due to a previous bad experience should I mention I am not white before I book an escort in the future so I don't get my time wasted. And should there be a list so it doesn't happen to others?

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I think if anything the escort should be putting on her profile that she doesn't see people of colour. That way genuine clients like you don't waste their time travelling only to be turned down. 

I think this was more her fault for not addressing her restrictions on the profile. I have restrictions and I make it known on my profile and make sure to confirm by email also to ensure I don't waste anyone's time and vice versa. 

The best you can do is read profiles and see if they mention any restrictions regarding race. If they don't then clarify that you are of a certain race and if she would see you. 

I know a lot of older clients like to clarify their age to younger escorts like myself in case we are uncomfortable so I think it's best you do the same in order to save you from travelling only to be disappointed. She really should put this on her profile. X

 

Edited by TightYoungEbony

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You shouldnt HAVE to mention it but still to save you wasting your own time and effort I would mention it. Getting a no on the phone will be a lot easier than traveling all the way to her location only for her to ignore the phone because she has seen you out of the window if she doesnt see guys of particular colour x

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Lots of girls clearly state on their profiles they do not even want to meet guys from their background, so I guess they have a few interesting stories to tell.  A telephone conversation would easily make you both understand if you want to meet or not.

 

 

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It is a shame that some escorts feel the need to restrict the colour and/or race of guys they are prepared to meet. The most honest way to deal with this is to make it clear on the profile.

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When I started this job, one of the most shocking things was how many men would ask me if I see Asian/black clients. I was horrified in this day and age that they felt the need to ask because so many escorts won't.  It's sad. 

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I don't know if it appropriate to highlight the escorts website or not if its not considered kosher I won't.

 

 

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7 minutes ago, dwanyewest said:

I don't know if it appropriate to highlight the escorts website or not if its not considered kosher I won't.

 

 

i think you have to respect ladies choice on who they have sex with. starting a witch hunt is not good.

 

just think.  are there some girls you fancy and some you dont.  why cant ladies be the same.

 

 

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The simple answer to the question is yes - it should be mentioned beforehand. If the girl doesn't mention it herself, you should raise the issue to avoid wasting your time.

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1 hour ago, Coventrypunter said:

i think you have to respect ladies choice on who they have sex with. starting a witch hunt is not good.

 

just think.  are there some girls you fancy and some you dont.  why cant ladies be the same.

 

 

But it's not about 'fancying' is it? If you choose not to provide a service to someone on the basis of their ethnicity you can call it personal choice by all means, but it's still discriminatory.

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2 hours ago, Coventrypunter said:

i think you have to respect ladies choice on who they have sex with. starting a witch hunt is not good.

 

just think.  are there some girls you fancy and some you dont.  why cant ladies be the same.

 

 

By the same token many punters end up having punts with women that they don't fancy just because they are there.

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You shouldn't have to point out your race/ethnicity to a working girl. It's a working girl's responsibility to point out if she discriminates by race, age, shoe size, nationality, etc.

If you don't meet a prospective working girl's racial requirements, remember that is her problem. Count your blessings when they give that heads up as you know they're not worth your time and that you've avoided an ugly or embarrassing situation.

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Hi,

As a black person myself, I agree it sucks that there are people who have a blanket ban on people of your "type" purely based on something you have absolutely no control over. And  yes, it seems to be more against black people than anyone else.

For independent escorts, I would always read their website thoroughly to see if there's anything mentioned about ethnicities. If there's things mentioned about other attributes (e.g. age etc.) but nothing about race, you can take it as red she probably wouldn't have a problem with colour.. though it wouldn't hurt to mention it when making a booking. If they are a parlour, I can ask over the phone as the receptionist can ask the girl directly. With agencies, there may not be the direct contact with the receptionist, so it's a lot harder to determine... I tend to avoid agencies now for that reason.

Interestingly, I once had a booking with an escort after a telephone conversation  and in the post sex session, she said if I just turned up on her door, she wouldn't have accepted a booking but because of the previous conversation (I'm quite well spoken) she decided that I was "respectable".

I've noticed it does tend to be more of a London thing more than anyone else.

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13 hours ago, Bewilderbeeste said:

But it's not about 'fancying' is it? If you choose not to provide a service to someone on the basis of their ethnicity you can call it personal choice by all means, but it's still discriminatory.

yup

and discrimination is endemic in human nature.  OK you can legislate about it but it still happens.

 

in prostitution there is a certain honesty about it.  Girls can say they wont see xxx ethnicity.  In civvie life people just wont shortlist people with 'wrong' names.

There is a company in the US that operates as an agency for people wanting to let spare rooms or even their house.  Seems people wanting to let people into their home are selective about the type of customers they want, and shun people with ethnc names. It has been suggested that the accommodation owners should not be told the prospective guests names.  That is one good way of stopping people using the service I would have thought.

 

anyway, why would anyone want to see a girl who doesnt want to see you.  I would have thought forcing a girl to see someone she is not happy with is a very good way of getting a seriously crap punt.

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1 minute ago, Coventrypunter said:

anyway, why would anyone want to see a girl who doesnt want to see you.  I would have thought forcing a girl to see someone she is not happy with is a very good way of getting a seriously crap punt.

I think for the OP it's more about not wanting a wasted trip. I've heard similar stories of clients being turned down on arrival because of skin colour. 

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17 minutes ago, MinxyLydia said:

I think for the OP it's more about not wanting a wasted trip. I've heard similar stories of clients being turned down on arrival because of skin colour. 

yes that must be a pain.  spose you have to ask.

but what about other characteristics.  will girl start saying no big cocks, no beards, no fatties or whatever?

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15 hours ago, Coventrypunter said:

i think you have to respect ladies choice on who they have sex with. starting a witch hunt is not good.

 

just think.  are there some girls you fancy and some you dont.  why cant ladies be the same.

 

 

 

13 hours ago, Bewilderbeeste said:

But it's not about 'fancying' is it? If you choose not to provide a service to someone on the basis of their ethnicity you can call it personal choice by all means, but it's still discriminatory.

There are various reasons why they may refuse bookings from various races / nationality. I did attempt to find out their reasons in a thread I started ages ago and the reasons included the following:-

 

1) Risk of bumping into someone they know. Knowing how typical black and Asian communities operate, there could be a real risk of her occupation getting back to their friends family.

2) Physical attributes .limitations:- Some have said they physically can't accommodate a certain size... and due to certain stereotypes this may rule out races on that basis.

3)  A bad experience:- Although there are probably some genuine cases, I see that so often that it's become something of a cliché

With the "bad experience" , that could be just about anything... including something like the guy falling asleep on them.  it sounds a bit more genuine when they give an idea of what that bad experience was. On the genuine  cases, I suspect that it may be sub-groups within them that are causing issues for everyone else (the "one bad apple spoils the bunch" scenario). For example,  there are certain black nationalities that are known to be more brash / brazen in the things they do than others...  I could be wrong, but if it proved to be the case that "The Bad Experience" was due to people of a particular sub-group, is it then appropriate to have a blanket ban on all of them?

For instance if, say, an escort had a bad experience with a someone from Romanian man (am only using this as an example) would it then be right to have a ban on Romanian men, all Eastern European men, All European men or indeed all white men?

 

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1 minute ago, DirtyGit said:

 

There are various reasons why they may refuse bookings from various races / nationality. I did attempt to find out their reasons in a thread I started ages ago and the reasons included the following:-

 

1) Risk of bumping into someone they know. Knowing how typical black and Asian communities operate, there could be a real risk of her occupation getting back to their friends family.

2) Physical attributes .limitations:- Some have said they physically can't accommodate a certain size... and due to certain stereotypes this may rule out races on that basis.

3)  A bad experience:- Although there are probably some genuine cases, I see that so often that it's become something of a cliché

With the "bad experience" , that could be just about anything... including something like the guy falling asleep on them.  it sounds a bit more genuine when they give an idea of what that bad experience was. On the genuine  cases, I suspect that it may be sub-groups within them that are causing issues for everyone else (the "one bad apple spoils the bunch" scenario). For example,  there are certain black nationalities that are known to be more brash / brazen in the things they do than others...  I could be wrong, but if it proved to be the case that "The Bad Experience" was due to people of a particular sub-group, is it then appropriate to have a blanket ban on all of them?

For instance if, say, an escort had a bad experience with a someone from Romanian man (am only using this as an example) would it then be right to have a ban on Romanian men, all Eastern European men, All European men or indeed all white men?

 

I have a few girls complain about the attitude of men from east of athens.  their culture is more likely to consider women not as equals and to perhaps just treat them as meat.  dunno how true this is or what, just something i heard

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1 hour ago, DirtyGit said:

 

There are various reasons why they may refuse bookings from various races / nationality. I did attempt to find out their reasons in a thread I started ages ago and the reasons included the following:-

3)  A bad experience:- Although there are probably some genuine cases, I see that so often that it's become something of a cliché

With the "bad experience" , that could be just about anything... including something like the guy falling asleep on them.  it sounds a bit more genuine when they give an idea of what that bad experience was. On the genuine  cases, I suspect that it may be sub-groups within them that are causing issues for everyone else (the "one bad apple spoils the bunch" scenario). For example,  there are certain black nationalities that are known to be more brash / brazen in the things they do than others...  I could be wrong, but if it proved to be the case that "The Bad Experience" was due to people of a particular sub-group, is it then appropriate to have a blanket ban on all of them?

For instance if, say, an escort had a bad experience with a someone from Romanian man (am only using this as an example) would it then be right to have a ban on Romanian men, all Eastern European men, All European men or indeed all white men?

 

That's exactly one of my criticisms of the blanket ban a lot of women place on men of a different race to them. For example a white woman has a bad experience with one or two black or asian men and she imposes a blanket ban. She then has even more bad or possibly worse experiences with white men yet she continues seeing them. Yes, it is her choice but it is also incredibly hypocritical.

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I've never had a problem with any particular ethnicity, size, shape, colour, age.

 

I do remember being very nervous with my first asian client, this was as a result of reading things that other Escorts had said about men of that origin. He could tell, and I felt really guilty about this prejudgement. Not had an issue since then, and the most serious issues I've had have all been with 'local', british caucasians.. It can be easy for non-caucasian sounding men to stick in your mind.............for instance for a while last year I started to think that asking for me to visit 2 men travelling together was something cultural, more recently after my move further away from the M6 corridor I noticed that I had a spate of drunk sounding locals making similar enquiries. Ok on the phone I cannot tell more than the voice, but I'm pretty sure that the balance has been addressed and that assumption has now be firmly wiped out of my mind.

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2 hours ago, Coventrypunter said:

yes that must be a pain.  spose you have to ask.

but what about other characteristics.  will girl start saying no big cocks, no beards, no fatties or whatever?

I'm pretty sure some women do! I'm sure I have read all the above mentioned in profiles- except the fatty bit a but more politely! 

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2 hours ago, Coventrypunter said:

but what about other characteristics.  will girl start saying no big cocks, no beards, no fatties or whatever?

There are women who already do.

I have seen profiles where the WG won't see men who are too well endowed (for vaginal and/or anal intercourse), I've seen profiles where the WG won't see men with a big beer belly and I also seen profiles where the WG won't do DFK if a man has a heavy beard or perform OWO if he's not trimmed/shaved down there.

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58 minutes ago, MinxyLydia said:

I'm pretty sure some women do! I'm sure I have read all the above mentioned in profiles- except the fatty bit a but more politely! 

"Gentlemen with a fuller form"?

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The subject of race comes up, HoneyBadger appears yet again. Quelle surprise, his favourite topic. No interest in any chat with you HB, I simply can't stand you- as you well know.

I'm just offering my pennyworth on the topic- a working girl of whatever type can set whatever restrictions she likes. That extends to sexual practices and the identity of client. It's at her discretion. She is fully entitled to do that, in my opinion.

When it comes to who we are prepared to fuck, discrimination legislation goes out the window as far as I'm concerned. "Open for business" does not mean "Open for business to all" - just as it doesn't mean you can do anything you want to a working girl because you're paying her. Paid for sex still carries with it a respect for someone else's body and personal wishes- if you have no respect for that, I think that sets a dangerous precedent full stop. And why would you want a booking like that which has every ounce of potential to go wrong because of her prejudices? How many working girls are there in the UK who don't set parameters, there are thousands upon thousands out there. Why whinge about a handful you find that don't, unless you have a chip on your shoulder about it relating to broader issues in your life.

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4 hours ago, DirtyGit said:

 

There are various reasons why they may refuse bookings from various races / nationality. I did attempt to find out their reasons in a thread I started ages ago and the reasons included the following:-

 

1) Risk of bumping into someone they know. Knowing how typical black and Asian communities operate, there could be a real risk of her occupation getting back to their friends family.

2) Physical attributes .limitations:- Some have said they physically can't accommodate a certain size... and due to certain stereotypes this may rule out races on that basis.

3)  A bad experience:- Although there are probably some genuine cases, I see that so often that it's become something of a cliché

With the "bad experience" , that could be just about anything... including something like the guy falling asleep on them.  it sounds a bit more genuine when they give an idea of what that bad experience was. On the genuine  cases, I suspect that it may be sub-groups within them that are causing issues for everyone else (the "one bad apple spoils the bunch" scenario). For example,  there are certain black nationalities that are known to be more brash / brazen in the things they do than others...  I could be wrong, but if it proved to be the case that "The Bad Experience" was due to people of a particular sub-group, is it then appropriate to have a blanket ban on all of them?

For instance if, say, an escort had a bad experience with a someone from Romanian man (am only using this as an example) would it then be right to have a ban on Romanian men, all Eastern European men, All European men or indeed all white men?

 

This is my reason. When I first started I actually did get someone book me who my family know VERY well, we didn't go ahead. It absolutely left me so paranoid to ever see anyone of my own race again as my family don't know what I do and I can't bear the thought of being at family events (I have a massive family and in the small town I live in there are a hell of people who know my family) and doing the awkward Hello when you know what you've done with that person. That's my reason for blanket banning and it's an incredibly valid one.

What I don't like is guys who I don't see emailing me abusive emails and calling me every name under the sun because I don't see them. It doesn't paint them in a positive light at all. I've had guys lie about their race to try and book me. Where is the need for that? Why go through all that trouble when there are hundreds even thousands of girls who see every race?! 

If a girl decides she doesn't want to see a certain race, size, age of men she is completely entitled to do so. Of course if this was a business like a shop you couldn't say "No Blacks" without being boycotted and all that, just take a look at a few London clubs who have been in the news recently for this. But this is escorting it's intimate a girl can choose to see whatever sort of client she wants, nobody should force her to see every race and every size and age. 

I have also seen profiles where women won't see overweight men, or those over 55, or guys with facial hair. It is silly I guess but it is their choice and if you happen to got into the category of the ones she doesn't see simply move on and go see someone who's happy to see you. This race subject comes up all the time it's pretty boring.

in your case OP I understand your frustration since this WG didn't make it clear before hand of her requirements.

 

Edited by TightYoungEbony
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