NIK

A question for the married punters.

149 posts in this topic

There's been a lot of references on here recently about married men and those living with someone punting - having to sneak out and pretend you're golfing or working, etc.

All sounds like hard work to me.

Are there any of you who's wives/girlfriends actually know you punt?

Also if you're in a satisfying sexual relationship why do you still punt?

Just curious :)

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Because the wife can't be bothered with sex any more, she finds the thought of having sex with him a complete turn of.... but of course they still love each other.

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I think its the thrill of someone new and the chance to try things with someone else. The risk and the anticipation counts for a lot too. I can probably manage most activities I want at home, although perhaps not the frequency I'd like. It is a clich

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Because the wife can't be bothered with sex any more, she finds the thought of having sex with him a complete turn of.... but of course they still love each other.

Ellie is partially right, although I detect a hint of sarcasm !

In my case, Mrs T has only the very occasional urge for sex, which often does not coincide with mine. Yes, there is love, but it type and depth changes as you get older. As Mrs T sayd, you cant look upon me as a shag bunny forever. Plus there are certain sexual activities she no longer enjoys, therefore as a married bloke, you have a number of choices:

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Nik

My missus would kill me if she found i visit a WG occasionally. She is not really into sex as she has a very low sex drive (and she is only 39). She is quite happy to go months without it. As you can imagine this can be very very frustrating for me. :)

Whereas I don't want or need it everyday , I would like it at least once a week. Hence my need to go to a WG for a quick fix.

Also she is quite happy to do it in the missionary position and thats it. With a WG I can get my fav an OWO BJ with CIM.........the missus hasn't given me a Blowjob for years and definately no CIM.

Also by visiting a prostitute it stops my begging the wife for 'an early night'.

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Because the wife can't be bothered with sex any more, she finds the thought of having sex with him a complete turn of.... but of course they still love each other.

I agree with this and I said so on the Pregnancy thread but a number of people started having a go with me.

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Do the married punters feel forced to see a WG due to the wives' lack of sexual interest?

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I agree with this and I said so on the Pregnancy thread but a number of people started having a go with me.
Interested, the day you hang out your shingle as a marriage counsellor or sexual relations counsellor is the day I will take up astrophysics. I fully acknowledge your expertise in assessing massage parlour receptionists but I think you should quit there, while you're ahead.:)

Happy New Year, by the way.

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I'm not a married punter so my apologies for butting in here... :)

Some gentlemen have a very sexually active marriage and love their wife to bits.

They just get off on the whole sexperience of being with someone different.

A huge turn on for some who enjoy playing with fire @ element of danger in being found out etc

For some it's simply a case of 'the grass is greener'...

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The thrill of seeing someone differant is still there, after twenty plus years of living with my wife, there is a need for something new!, and of course, many a person who is married, will not be married to someone who will do anal, or CIM, or any of the other extra's advertised.

The quote "life is like a box of chocolates" comes to mind, and we all fancy a differant flavour or brand at times, thats why I punt.

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For some it's simply a case of 'the grass is greener'...

True, but maybe it's also not even that the grass is 'greener' - i.e. 'better' - but just different...

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Some gentlemen have a very sexually active marriage and love their wife to bits.

They just get off on the whole sexperience of being with someone different.

A huge turn on for some who enjoy playing with fire @ element of danger in being found out etc

For some it's simply a case of 'the grass is greener'...

I fall into all these categories. A point on the grass is greener. Despite sex several times a week with my love, it is always the same. No oral, no cim. I also can't give her oral, and i love to give oral as much as receiving it.

Travel does make it easier as well. Recently I have not travelled, so my punting has reduced. When I travel and stay away from home it will increase.

There are a couple of posts on http://www.harlots-parlour.com about why men punt.

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The quote "life is like a box of chocolates" comes to mind, and we all fancy a differant flavour or brand at times, thats why I punt.

I think the quote is 'life is just a bowl of cherries' but I am far too old to pursue research in that area. But 'thanks for the the memories' (a more apt song title for me):)

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lois and i are best friends and soulmates but have not had sex now for more than 15 years.i saw wg's before i got married on a regular basis and have done ever since.i am discreet and careful.

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Provided you can keep your punting discreet (with secure email account, separate PAYG mobile, etc), that's why we do it, as the fourth option is in many cases a non-starter, over complicates matters, and puts relationships at a far greater risk. I've been there too, and once contemplated dumping Mrs T as the sex with the "mistress" was brilliant, but she had other shortcomings (always sod all food in the house...) and once I'd focussed on the financial side (risk of CSA maintenance, paying a mortgage on a house I wasnt living in and also rent somewhere else, the impact on my pension, ostracising by kids, further to travel to work with associated cost/time, etc), I woke and smelt the coffee. :)

I have weighed up the pros and cons of staying together quite a few times. I often think, what's the point of having a nice house when you feel like a prisoner in it, and being able to afford nice holidays when you are permanently horny and can't wait to get back to the UK so you can see a WG to offload your frustration?

It's not been a good xmas holiday for me LOL

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For me it is a change from the normal ( same for the last twenty years sex), if i suggest anything different i am looked upon as some kind of pervert.

Their is also a thrill seeking desire that i need fullfiled in my otherwise boring life;)

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And finally to answer NIK's questions:

Are there any of you who's wives/girlfriends actually know you punt?

There's a difference between knowing/proving, and suspecting. So for me there is no suspicion, no knowledge.

Also if you're in a satisfying sexual relationship why do you still punt?

Can I refer the honourable member to the answer I gave earlier?

I won't give a link to the other thread on here where I posted about my reasons for punting whilst married given everyones objection to the thread as a whole. However, I've actually told my wife on at least half a dozen occasions that if I'm not getting it at home, I'm gonna get it elsewhere and probably pay for it. OK its a nasty thing to say but at least its honest. Despite saying this type of stuff (and still not getting it from the wife) and there being lots of other signs for her to be suspicious, she still pretends I am being faithful. Believe me she is not a stupid person. Can you really say that she doesn't know?

However, her denial (if I am right that she is in denial) keeps our marriage moving forward and my kids happy. I love her for that.

As to the reasons I do it; well, yes, part of it is because I don't get it at home and it, therefore, keeps my marriage together (which was strangely condoned by the Relate counselor per other thread). The other part is because it creates something novel and exciting in my life.

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Ellie is partially right, although I detect a hint of sarcasm !

In my case, Mrs T has only the very occasional urge for sex, which often does not coincide with mine. Yes, there is love, but it type and depth changes as you get older. As Mrs T sayd, you cant look upon me as a shag bunny forever. Plus there are certain sexual activities she no longer enjoys, therefore as a married bloke, you have a number of choices:

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I love my wife and I have the BEST sex imaginable with her... but only once a week....

I want more.

Also I am a sex addict, any stress, boredom, guilt, free time, any possible chance of a fix I will be looking for one.

Usually wanking, but more and more it's involving other people, punting being the most common.

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Do the married punters feel forced to see a WG due to the wives' lack of sexual interest?

Yes!!!!, that is how it started, there is only so much frustration you can take. :)

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Ive been reading all these stories of marraige and sex with interest, as a single mid 30 year old who has always thought i would never want to get married i have lately been thinking it might be time to settle down etc. I have had loads of relationships but only one that lasted 5 years and lived together. She was amazing at first, years 1-2 was sex anywhere and all the time, i have to say that no one else has never turned me on so much and i really loved her. Years 2-4 it became less frequent prob about 4 times a week but i would always start it and it became less imaginative. Year 5 it became once a fortnight and relationship became strained, i still wanted her as much as the day we met but things had changed for some reason. She wanted to get married but i decided not to as i didnt want another 30 years of frustration, i would of married the girl i met!

So we split up and ive had a couple of years of meaningless sex, Thailand trips, punts over here and never met anyone who comes close to my ex. Did i do the right thing is the question i ask myself all the time, would i have got married to her and then started playing away etc or would the fact that i had commited to her and showed how much i cared got the sex life back on track?

Given the choice, do the guys who are in sexless marraiges wish they hadnt bothered in the first place?

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I think its the thrill of someone new and the chance to try things with someone else. The risk and the anticipation counts for a lot too. I can probably manage most activities I want at home, although perhaps not the frequency I'd like. It is a clich

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Ive been reading all these stories of marraige and sex with interest, as a single mid 30 year old who has always thought i would never want to get married i have lately been thinking it might be time to settle down etc. I have had loads of relationships but only one that lasted 5 years and lived together. She was amazing at first, years 1-2 was sex anywhere and all the time, i have to say that no one else has never turned me on so much and i really loved her. Years 2-4 it became less frequent prob about 4 times a week but i would always start it and it became less imaginative. Year 5 it became once a fortnight and relationship became strained, i still wanted her as much as the day we met but things had changed for some reason. She wanted to get married but i decided not to as i didnt want another 30 years of frustration, i would of married the girl i met!

So we split up and ive had a couple of years of meaningless sex, Thailand trips, punts over here and never met anyone who comes close to my ex. Did i do the right thing is the question i ask myself all the time, would i have got married to her and then started playing away etc or would the fact that i had commited to her and showed how much i cared got the sex life back on track?

Given the choice, do the guys who are in sexless marraiges wish they hadnt bothered in the first place?

No, I love my missus for EVERY other reason than our infrequency of sex. She is an amazing woman, but not highly driven to hvae sex.

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No, I love my missus for EVERY other reason than our infrequency of sex. She is an amazing woman, but not highly driven to hvae sex.

Im glad you have an amazing woman mate, did you know early on that there would be infrequency of sex or was it not always the case?

Does she know about your punting?

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Im glad you have an amazing woman mate, did you know early on that there would be infrequency of sex or was it not always the case?

Does she know about your punting?

No, not really. First few years were really good, but she lost interest as her workload increased and increased. Frequency of sex simply slowed down over time. But, our relationship could survive without sex, as we are really good friends too, but I have needs. She doesn't know, no, but I have found that punting actually helps us in the bedroom in some ways.

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