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I have just read this news story about the Seeking Arrangements web site and app. This is a dating web site that links (female) students with older people (mostly men). The first story is from Irish central news. It does not say what percentage of sugar babes are from Eire or Northern Ireland but over 9,000 have joined the site. Not all will be active of course.

http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Irish-students-seek-Sugar-Daddies-to-pay-bills.html

    The BBC also picked up this story and they give the figures for UK universties.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/35521859/a-quarter-of-a-million-uk-students-now-using-sugar-daddies-according-to-app

It is clear that this service will involve sex and payment by the daddy, in some form, to the babe. So how does this fit with the legislation in Northern Ireland, the proposed legislation in Eire, and the debate about this in mainland UK making it illegal to pay for sex? The prohibitionist's argue that they are only concerned about reducing exploitation (of female sex workers) so would they follow their own logic and say these types web sites are OK if that's the way students want to fund their studies?

Does this mark a change to the sex industry? How do punters and workers feel about this - is it an opportunity, a threat or irrelevant?

Edited by Dave451
Typos, add tags.

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I'm a Seeking Arrangement user in my seventies . Yes there are a lot of students and I'm amazed at the number 18,19 20 year olds who initiate contact every day. There are also many older ladies, particularly late 20s 30s. Also contacted by one 65 year old. I must say I worry about how aware of disease and other dangers these youngsters are. I say sorry looking for someone older to those under 27

Many make clear that sex is not on the agenda whilst others are quite open. Most but not all are looking for a financial contribution. Some of those I've chatted too say that there are inundated by men seeking one night stands.

As to my experience. Well its been good. Yes my motivation in joining was sex but not in the way of a straight business deal with an escort. Even though that would have been cheaper and less hassle.

Exchanged a number texts with an attractive 30 year old which rapidly led to dinner at a top hotel. The evening ended with a passionate embrace and the following week we went to see a show. We both wanted more and I agreed to help with her rent and we meet up as and when

- usually a couple of times a month. Usually for a sexual encounter but sometimes dinner or show. We text each other every day.

Also looking to meet up with a someone in South Africa who will be returning soon to UK.

In both cases have also provided business/mentoring advice. 

When I tell some who message me that I'm currently in a relationship they respond by saying can they still contact me for mentoring advice.

SO its by no means all please and it is girls contacting me than the other way round. I don't see how it could fall fowl of Swedish type rules. If there is a danger that if such law was introduced, escorts who are not welcome on the site would try and use it to get round the legislation

 

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Presuming of course that the site hasn't created some of the 9000  profiles.  

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4 minutes ago, Strawberry said:

Presuming of course that the site hasn't created some of the 9000  profiles.  

Not in my experience. Theres a per month going fee for men. But there's no contact or messaging payment fee as on a number of dubious sights

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I did read some review of this type of site and the monthly 'contribution' figures bandied about were in the £500 to £1000 bracket which is far more than I spend on punting.  I think I'll give it a miss as an alternative to punting.

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3 hours ago, Bert said:

I did read some review of this type of site and the monthly 'contribution' figures bandied about were in the £500 to £1000 bracket which is far more than I spend on punting.  I think I'll give it a miss as an alternative to punting.

I should have said I'm not one of the rich guys and just about stretch to £500 a month. But put it  in perspective. That's equivalent to the cost of a two hour punt with  many independents and agencies. But Im getting two or more say four hour meetings month for that and even the occasional overnight

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Thanks for the users' perspective Tugg . The press have sensationalised this story quite a bit (what a surprise!) so it's good to hear a very sensible account about how you have used the site.

I still think sites like this will confuse any law making that tries to make paying for sex illegal as it highlights a very grey area between dating and prostitution. One thing is clear though - it is difficult to see how the prohibitionists could argue that the women using sites like this are "exploited" and therefore need the protection of the law; no doubt they will try.

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6 hours ago, Dave451 said:

 

I still think sites like this will confuse any law making that tries to make paying for sex illegal as it highlights a very grey area between dating and prostitution. One thing is clear though - it is difficult to see how the prohibitionists could argue that the women using sites like this are "exploited" and therefore need the protection of the law; no doubt they will try.

I agree. I met the girl on the site but I might just as well have met her in a pub. I guess anyone who has a mistress is in effect paying for sex. That could be a problem for some of our politicians

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What;s the difference between a sugarbaby and WG?

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4 hours ago, Chetang1343 said:

What;s the difference between a sugarbaby and WG?

...the spelling.

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20 hours ago, JKay said:

...the spelling.

In many cases JKay is right. But my case, and many others, there is a difference. In my case every month I pay half her rent and that's it financially. We meet up as and when we feel like it - sometimes for sex, sometimes for a meal, sometimes to see a show. And we text each other every day.It's more like a mistress arrangement.

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Posted (edited)

49 minutes ago, tugg said:

In many cases JKay is right. But my case, and many others, there is a difference. In my case every month I pay half her rent and that's it financially. We meet up as and when we feel like it - sometimes for sex, sometimes for a meal, sometimes to see a show. And we text each other every day.It's more like a mistress arrangement.

But technically you are still paying her for her company/sex/meal whatever. If you suddenly stopped paying half her rent I can guarantee you wouldn't be meeting up anymore, texting every day makes no difference, I've had regulars who have emailed me frequently. Does it mean it's less of a business transaction? No. 

I started out as an SB, and still am with the same SD I had before I started escorting, and it's no different to a WG. The word "SB" is used to make some "Sugar Daddies" feel as if they aren't paying for sex, when in reality they are they just don't want to see it like that, some sort of delusion I think. Most of the SBs on the sites are also WGs or have been paid for sex. 

You probably aren't the only arrangement she has either, she may have two or three SDs who are paying the other half of her rent or giving her cash up front and she could be texting those everyday too! You never know.

So JKay is right.

Edited by TightYoungEbony

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On 8 March 2016 at 6:03 PM, TightYoungEbony said:

But technically you are still paying her for her company/sex/meal whatever. If you suddenly stopped paying half her rent I can guarantee you wouldn't be meeting up anymore, texting every day makes no difference, I've had regulars who have emailed me frequently. Does it mean it's less of a business transaction? No. 

I started out as an SB, and still am with the same SD I had before I started escorting, and it's no different to a WG. The word "SB" is used to make some "Sugar Daddies" feel as if they aren't paying for sex, when in reality they are they just don't want to see it like that, some sort of delusion I think. Most of the SBs on the sites are also WGs or have been paid for sex. 

You probably aren't the only arrangement she has either, she may have two or three SDs who are paying the other half of her rent or giving her cash up front and she could be texting those everyday too! You never know.

So JKay is right.

Guess we agree to disagree. I guess I see a distinction between a professional working girl either as an independent or on the books of an agency with regular  advertising etc and my friend who I happened to meet on an SB site. Would you also call her a working girl if we'd met on an ordinary dating site or social media.

I'm not naive about the possibility of other SDs but with a little research and probing  am satisfied that is not the case and she knows full well that if I found there my financial help would terminate.

At the end of the day what do definitions matter. We're both having an enjoyable fun relationship.

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23 minutes ago, tugg said:

At the end of the day what do definitions matter. We're both having an enjoyable fun relationship.

I agree at the moment definitions don't matter. However, if the outcome of the current Home Affairs committee enquiry into prostitution decides we should adopt the Nordic model then definitions will become very important. The committee's hearing last week started its "investigation" with questioning on SB sites and whether they should be "banned".  The legal draftsmen in Parliament would probably have to burn some midnight oil to come up with a satisfactory, for them, language in a new UK 'Nordic' law but I'm sure they would come up with a defintion to criminalise the users of SB sites if they were instructed to do this. 

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Posted (edited)

36 minutes ago, tugg said:

Guess we agree to disagree. I guess I see a distinction between a professional working girl either as an independent or on the books of an agency with regular  advertising etc and my friend who I happened to meet on an SB site. Would you also call her a working girl if we'd met on an ordinary dating site or social media.

I'm not naive about the possibility of other SDs but with a little research and probing  am satisfied that is not the case and she knows full well that if I found there my financial help would terminate.

At the end of the day what do definitions matter. We're both having an enjoyable fun relationship.

That would equate to REAL dating where there is actually potential for a relationship. You are not in a relationship with this girl, you pay half her rent in exchange for her company, and I can guarantee its not an exclusive arrangement and you're not the only SD she has, if she can get one to pay half her rent she can probably get another to pay the other half or give an allowance lol. Don't dwell on it she's your friend not you GF, so it's no biggie as long as when she is with you she's having fun and not texting her other SD right! 

You cannot compare if you met her on a dating site to meeting her on a SA, they are very different. If it was real dating you wouldn't be paying half her rent in order to spend time with her. She is in technical terms a WG just as much as I am, difference is she isn't openly advertising as one.

You are paying her in kind in a way. And if you don't believe what I say, stop paying her rent and see if the meets continue. I tell any person this who thinks its some "real relationship". Just as I wouldn't see a client if he wasn't paying me, most "SBs" wouldn't continue to have an "arrangement" without cash involvement. :)

Edited by TightYoungEbony

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1 hour ago, TightYoungEbony said:

That would equate to REAL dating where there is actually potential for a relationship. You are not in a relationship with this girl, you pay half her rent in exchange for her company, and I can guarantee its not an exclusive arrangement and you're not the only SD she has, if she can get one to pay half her rent she can probably get another to pay the other half or give an allowance lol. Don't dwell on it she's your friend not you GF, so it's no biggie as long as when she is with you she's having fun and not texting her other SD right! 

You cannot compare if you met her on a dating site to meeting her on a SA, they are very different. If it was real dating you wouldn't be paying half her rent in order to spend time with her. She is in technical terms a WG just as much as I am, difference is she isn't openly advertising as one.

You are paying her in kind in a way. And if you don't believe what I say, stop paying her rent and see if the meets continue. I tell any person this who thinks its some "real relationship". Just as I wouldn't see a client if he wasn't paying me, most "SBs" wouldn't continue to have an "arrangement" without cash involvement. :)

But where would we be without our illusions? (Goes into a corner and sobs)

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Tight Young Ebony talks total sense here. Of course it's the same as a WG. 

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On 9 March 2016 at 7:05 PM, TightYoungEbony said:

That would equate to REAL dating where there is actually potential for a relationship. You are not in a relationship with this girl, you pay half her rent in exchange for her company, and I can guarantee its not an exclusive arrangement and you're not the only SD she has, if she can get one to pay half her rent she can probably get another to pay the other half or give an allowance lol. Don't dwell on it she's your friend not you GF, so it's no biggie as long as when she is with you she's having fun and not texting her other SD right! 

You cannot compare if you met her on a dating site to meeting her on a SA, they are very different. If it was real dating you wouldn't be paying half her rent in order to spend time with her. She is in technical terms a WG just as much as I am, difference is she isn't openly advertising as one.

You are paying her in kind in a way. And if you don't believe what I say, stop paying her rent and see if the meets continue. I tell any person this who thinks its some "real relationship". Just as I wouldn't see a client if he wasn't paying me, most "SBs" wouldn't continue to have an "arrangement" without cash involvement. :)

It's sad that you equate the whole thing to sex. And I find it offensive to keep alleging that she is playing the field with several SDs.Im not naive and know a great deal about her lifestyle. And I've had a SD relationship where sex has not been involved

I have been punting for more years than I care to remember and have a good relationship with a number of WGs but I can tell you this is very different.

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Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, tugg said:

It's sad that you equate the whole thing to sex. And I find it offensive to keep alleging that she is playing the field with several SDs.Im not naive and know a great deal about her lifestyle. And I've had a SD relationship where sex has not been involved

I have been punting for more years than I care to remember and have a good relationship with a number of WGs but I can tell you this is very different.

It's mostly about sex, let's be real. You are deluding yourself into thinking this is an exclusive arrangement and that you're the only person to help this girl out. She tells you what she wants to tell you like anyone else, that doesn't mean you know her. I tell my regulars what I want to tell them, that doesn't mean they know me.

Stop trying to delude yourself into thinking it is more than it is, the sooner you realise it is an arrangement between two adults and she is free to have several arrangements the better. 

I'll say it again If the money (you paying half her rent) wasn't involved she wouldn't be meeting you. You are essentially her "client" just in an SD arrangement way. It is NO different to a regular booking a WG for a social meet, playing the field? She's not your girlfriend, she's your SB! If she wants to sleep with other men whether that be another SD or Bob she met at the local pub she can since you do not own her and your are not in a monogamous relationship. She is free to do as she pleases when she's not with you and you can't really stop her. Paying half her rent doesn't make her your property.

It sounds to me like you have feelings for this girl and want to believe it's reciprocated and that this "arrangement" is more than it actually is. You need to jump back into reality.

I am not sure why you're so adamant to convince yourself this arrangement is different but you aren't convincing anybody else. I would say most of us here understand the boundaries and know an SD arrangement is just that, an arrangement, and know not to over step those boundaries and blur the lines. 

I am simply stating the obvious, in my opinion you're only offended by it because it's the brutal truth.

Edited by TightYoungEbony

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Posted (edited)

I have looked into this a bit more and it looks like an interesting arrangement but one thing i'd like to clarify...looking at some profiles on SA, some SBs have asked for a SD who can give career advice, business experience, and mentoring (power phrasing). Does this mean only businessmen can be SDs? I'm a dentist so can give some life advice but when it comes to specific career guidance that would depend on the type of career the SB was after.

If they want my money, juice, and advice on medical career I can help lol

Useful to get the views of other SBs and SDs on this as its something i may consider this in the future.

Edited by Chetang1343

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1 hour ago, Chetang1343 said:

I have looked into this a bit more and it looks like an interesting arrangement but one thing i'd like to clarify...looking at some profiles on SA, some SBs have asked for a SD who can give career advice, business experience, and mentoring (power phrasing). Does this mean only businessmen can be SDs? I'm a dentist so can give some life advice but when it comes to specific career guidance that would depend on the type of career the SB was after.

If they want my money, juice, and advice on medical career I can help lol

Useful to get the views of other SBs and SDs on this as its something i may consider this in the future.

Yes a lot of profiles say that, usually means a business owner or someone successful who can give advice on a business adventure. My SD did that, but don't be put off I assume most of them put that in their profiles but don't actually follow through with it. 

Best to message the ones you're interested in and ask them to elaborate more on what advice and mentoring they seek, that way you'll have a full idea of how you can or can't help them! :)

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2 hours ago, Chetang1343 said:

I have looked into this a bit more and it looks like an interesting arrangement but one thing i'd like to clarify...looking at some profiles on SA, some SBs have asked for a SD who can give career advice, business experience, and mentoring (power phrasing). Does this mean only businessmen can be SDs? I'm a dentist so can give some life advice but when it comes to specific career guidance that would depend on the type of career the SB was after.

If they want my money, juice, and advice on medical career I can help lol

Useful to get the views of other SBs and SDs on this as its something i may consider this in the future.

Or root canal surgery. Only joking.:D

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Why would someone become a SD?

What is the minimum that a SD would have to pay for SB relationship?

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I have 2 SD relationships with 2 women. I see them when i can and pay them per meet. Would they see me without the money - probably not but I do have a friendship with them. I used to punt a lot but have found this type of relationship/arrangement works well for me and have not punted this year. Both SBs have jobs (one has children) and wanted to earn a bit more cash. Its different from a WG situation in that I have built up a friendship and have a great time each time I visit. With punting it's a lot more robotic.

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I totally agree with Tommy 1970. My experience is very similar.

My advice to Rajan is that he is thinking of a minimum payment he won't get very far and would do better to stick to punting with escorts.

For a start he may have to pay for several meetings before he meets someone where the chemistry works. And it's not just the SB "gift" there will be meals, drinks, taxis etc.

But if you meet the right SB then you can ave a great time.

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