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oldjack

friendship or obsession?

98 posts in this topic

If I get on well with an escort & feel that she reciprocates I find it very pleasant if we develop a friendship. I quite realise that, unless you are young & an Adonis (I come under neither category unfortunately), it is extremely foolish to even think that the friendship will come to more than that. Escorts have their own private lives & I feel that the majority of them have a partner (some I believe even are married). Obviously, if I meet up with an escort & things don't go too well I tend to forget about it & leave it like that. Fortunately there have been quite a few occasions when an escort & I have "hit it off" & it is quite obvious that we will see each other again. It is then that I like to endeavour to strike up a friendship which means that both of us are pleased to meet up with the other. I am very fortunate in having such a friendship going at the moment with an escort I met on A.W. We see each other fairly frequently (sometimes twice a month) and we both enjoy each other's company. Before proceedings commence we have a chat over a glass of wine & get to know what each other have been up to since our last encounter. We both know that we are "good friends" & nothing more but I do feel that it makes our meetings that much more enjoyable. Our chats normally mean that I run over time but she does not seem to mind. I have had several such encounters with escorts over the past 25 years or so since I started punting. Unfortunately one escort I developed a friendship with "red carded" me saying, amongst other things, that I became obsessed with her although nothing could be further from the truth.

I was wondering whether other punters feel the same as me and, in addition, I would like to know the feelings of the Ladies on this subject. Ladies, have you had a client who you feel has become obsessed with you?

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Not obsessed as such but certainly keener on me than I might like, but I think I am always careful to (kindly and subtly)  ensure clients know that whilst I might be fond of them it is a working relationship and that if I go over time, it doesn't mean it will happen all the time and if clients text between bookings to say hello I'll be friendly but not let it become a regular thing.

 

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This is the second time you've mentioned extra time you get from an escort in a post, I know you haven't mentioned names but I find it quite distasteful that a punter has to keep mentioning how he "runs over time" with an escort, it has no relevance to this thread or the last one, it's just bragging. 

I have lots of lovely clients who I am very fond of and who I enjoy the company of and can have a nice chat with, BUT, they are not my friends, they are clients. Friends are people you call up at 6pm to go out for a cocktail with after a shit day at work, they are people you know the real names of, have met the family maybe and actually know each other properly.

In my opinion a client and escort aren't friends, it's a business transaction, not a friendship, of course I have good chats with some of my clients and think my regulars are great, but I don't ring them up asking them to go shopping or gossip about the latest, we chat when they book me so no it's not friendship. 

And yes I've had clients who've been obsessed with me, one who turned into a horrible stalker, another who tried to form a friendship with me first, then a relationship and he confused my niceness as me being emotionally and physically interested in him and asked me to move in with him and "be together", he is over 30 years older than me, and got the impression that I was falling for him like he was me, this is why blurring the lines can turn very wrong and both clients and escorts should be polite and friendly but understand the boundaries.  

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1 hour ago, TightYoungEbony said:

This is the second time you've mentioned extra time you get from an escort in a post, I know you haven't mentioned names but I find it quite distasteful that a punter has to keep mentioning how he "runs over time" with an escort, it has no relevance to this thread or the last one, it's just bragging. 

I have lots of lovely clients who I am very fond of and who I enjoy the company of and can have a nice chat with, BUT, they are not my friends, they are clients. Friends are people you call up at 6pm to go out for a cocktail with after a shit day at work, they are people you know the real names of, have met the family maybe and actually know each other properly.

In my opinion a client and escort aren't friends, it's a business transaction, not a friendship, of course I have good chats with some of my clients and think my regulars are great, but I don't ring them up asking them to go shopping or gossip about the latest, we chat when they book me so no it's not friendship. 

And yes I've had clients who've been obsessed with me, one who turned into a horrible stalker, another who tried to form a friendship with me first, then a relationship and he confused my niceness as me being emotionally and physically interested in him and asked me to move in with him and "be together", he is over 30 years older than me, and got the impression that I was falling for him like he was me, this is why blurring the lines can turn very wrong and both clients and escorts should be polite and friendly but understand the boundaries.  

It is not bragging (not meant to be anyway)(. We go overtime because she doesn't count the time (sometimes 15 minutes) when we have a pleasant chat. I think it dreadful that you have been "stalked"; I can't think of anything worse than that. As you so rightly say it is after all a business transaction but that doesn't, in my opinion, prevent it from being a pleasant business transaction. I am a retired lawyer & like to think that my business transactions with clients were harmonious & friendly so that they would return to me. I would think that this also applies to escorts & their clients.

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9 hours ago, oldjack said:

It is not bragging (not meant to be anyway)(. We go overtime because she doesn't count the time (sometimes 15 minutes) when we have a pleasant chat. I think it dreadful that you have been "stalked"; I can't think of anything worse than that. As you so rightly say it is after all a business transaction but that doesn't, in my opinion, prevent it from being a pleasant business transaction. I am a retired lawyer & like to think that my business transactions with clients were harmonious & friendly so that they would return to me. I would think that this also applies to escorts & their clients.

Virtually every lawyer I have known over many years has charged for any extra time! Are you claiming to be an exception? :D

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I'm not quite sure why you continue to post like this OldJack, it's not the first time that you've started threads about your extended friendships with the Escorts you meet. One of your threads indicated that this has bitten you in the bottom at least once.

What startled me is that you make a point of drawing attention to the amount of overrun you receive in just about every AW FR that you write, and have also mentioned the lady you fell out with in reports for other SPs. To me that seems very odd, it also suggests that you are not discrete, and also take things very much to heart. In my experience there is often another side to the story, and reading between the lines it feels as if there's something not quite right here.

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I have manage to build friendships with clients, in which we get to know what is going on in each others lives, without having to sit around drinking wine in hot baths. I don't drink alcohol, and hate sitting in baths. No we chat in the booking, and over period of regular visits know enough to understand and provide friendly support when needed

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13 hours ago, oldjack said:

 Unfortunately one escort I developed a friendship with "red carded" me saying, amongst other things, that I became obsessed with her although nothing could be further from the truth.

I was wondering whether other punters feel the same as me and, in addition, I would like to know the feelings of the Ladies on this subject. Ladies, have you had a client who you feel has become obsessed with you?

The best is to communicate with the girls: some don't mind talking to the guys a bit extra, yet some girls will assume that you are 'obsessed' with her, therefore showing her true state of mind.  You might not know the extent of her delusion, so if she comes up with this comment, pack your bags and do not look back.

There is nothing wrong with being a regular, until your and her Status quo will change: the trick is to be honest about everything.

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11 minutes ago, Strawberry said:

I have manage to build friendships with clients, in which we get to know what is going on in each others lives, without having to sit around drinking wine in hot baths. I don't drink alcohol, and hate sitting in baths. No we chat in the booking, and over period of regular visits know enough to understand and provide friendly support when needed

Agreed.

I am/have been friends on FB with a number of ladies as their real personalise, though not the real me, though mypersonality is still me.

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It really depends on the guy and the situation.I sometimes don't mind having a chat at the end if we are getting on and I am not busy but this is always at my discretion and should never be expected.On occaision though you will get a regular who will come to expect the overrun and then get upset when it does not always happen.

You also sometimes get guys who think it is ok to text/email/ring and there is not a booking forthcoming.I used to have a semi regular who would text to ask how I am and mention coming to see me soon and it rarely used to happen or he would cancel,that is not any kind of friendship,it is someone wanting attention.I have a personal life and I find this sort of communication outside of the paid time kind of intrusive.

Yes with regulars you can have a rapport but for me that is for during his time with me not at 9pm on a Sunday night when I am at home with my partner.

I had to ditch a long standing regular sadly as he took it to another level emailing alot and one late night because he was in a bad mood sending a snappy nasty email because earlier in his booking he had bought me (unasked)a pair of stockings which I knew would not fit and so I had thanked him but put something else on.He went on and on about me mugging him off and treating him like a punter when he thought we were friends...he conveniently forgot the times I had gone out for a meal with him and not charged him a social rate after his 2 hour booking.

I now prefer to keep things quite seperate have had my fingers burned with guys carried away.

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28 minutes ago, Bibi said:

It really depends on the guy and the situation.I sometimes don't mind having a chat at the end if we are getting on and I am not busy but this is always at my discretion and should never be expected.On occaision though you will get a regular who will come to expect the overrun and then get upset when it does not always happen.

You also sometimes get guys who think it is ok to text/email/ring and there is not a booking forthcoming.I used to have a semi regular who would text to ask how I am and mention coming to see me soon and it rarely used to happen or he would cancel,that is not any kind of friendship,it is someone wanting attention.I have a personal life and I find this sort of communication outside of the paid time kind of intrusive.

Yes with regulars you can have a rapport but for me that is for during his time with me not at 9pm on a Sunday night when I am at home with my partner.

I had to ditch a long standing regular sadly as he took it to another level emailing alot and one late night because he was in a bad mood sending a snappy nasty email because earlier in his booking he had bought me (unasked)a pair of stockings which I knew would not fit and so I had thanked him but put something else on.He went on and on about me mugging him off and treating him like a punter when he thought we were friends...he conveniently forgot the times I had gone out for a meal with him and not charged him a social rate after his 2 hour booking.

I now prefer to keep things quite seperate have had my fingers burned with guys carried away.

Absolutely agree. I see some people have said they are friends with escorts and have had them on Facebook that to me is a major no no. 

When I first started escorting I didn't know about any forums and didn't know about keeping your private life separate and all that, I was very open and vocal in my earlier months and told virtually every client in that time my real name, my real occupation, where I studied and very silly things like that, of course most clients were okay, but I gained one stalker from this who started sitting outside my college in his car telling me what I was wearing, this is the one who eventually got arrested. Other clients started to try add me on Facebook and ask for bookings by inbox! I had another follow me on Instagram and comment on my pictures about how lovely I look and he can't wait to book me again, I can't remember the full comment but it was something like that. Incredibly in discrete, it was only when I discovered forums did I realise it's best to not tell clients these things invade of backlash.  I'm sure most are just genuine men who simply want a friend, but there are some crazy weirdos out there who will seek out your address and post it like someone did with me. 

So now, I keep my personal information completely private from every single client to ensure it doesn't happen again. Personally I think certain clients build up friendships with escorts in hope of some free reward or special treatment, I'm sure they don't do the same with their plumber or their mechanic or doctor but see it as acceptable with an escort. 

I'm one of the most friendliest people going but after bad experiences with being a chatterbox and letting my private life slip I wouldn't do it again regardless of who the clients was! X

Edited by TightYoungEbony

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7 minutes ago, TightYoungEbony said:

Absolutely agree. I see some people have said they are friends with escorts and have had them on Facebook that to me is a major no no. 

When I first started escorting I didn't know about any forums and didn't know about keeping your private life separate and all that, I was very open and vocal in my earlier months and told virtually every client in that time my real name, my real occupation, where I studied and very silly things like that, of course most clients were okay, but I gained one stalker from this who started sitting outside my college in his car telling me what I was wearing, this is the one who eventually got arrested. Other clients started to try add me on Facebook and ask for bookings by inbox! I had another follow me on Instagram and comment on my pictures about how lovely I look and he can't wait to book me again, I can't remember the full comment but it was something like that. Incredibly in discrete, it was only when I discovered forums did I realise it's best to not tell clients these things invade of backlash.  I'm sure most are just genuine men who simply want a friend, but there are some crazy weirdos out there who will seek out your address and post it like someone did with me. 

So now, I keep my personal information completely private from every single client to ensure it doesn't happen again. Personally I think certain clients build up friendships with escorts in hope of some free reward or special treatment, I'm sure they don't do the same with their plumber or their mechanic or doctor but see it as acceptable with an escort. 

I'm one of the most friendliest people going but after bad experiences with being a chatterbox and letting my private life slip I wouldn't do it again regardless of who the clients was! X

I suppose there are clients like these and it's best to have one rule for all, but the ladies who I am friends with on FB, are the ones I visited most, due to the overuns, chats, etc. They know I am OK, but it must be hard to judge all men.

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2 hours ago, Annabellexoxo said:

The best is to communicate with the girls: some don't mind talking to the guys a bit extra, yet some girls will assume that you are 'obsessed' with her, therefore showing her true state of mind.  You might not know the extent of her delusion, so if she comes up with this comment, pack your bags and do not look back.

There is nothing wrong with being a regular, until your and her Status quo will change: the trick is to be honest about everything.

I don't think it is because some girls are deluded as to why they don't want to give extra time.It is because by and large it is a business and if the gentleman has paid for an hour then the lady may feel that she does not want to give any extra time after that and that is her right.

Your post seems to suggest that any girl not wanting to spend extra time or not wanting to engage in out of booking chitchat is deluded in some way.

Some of us just want to keep our escorting persona and our real life persona seperate which is perfectly understandable and sensible for the most part.

Sadly some gents can be very clingy and deluded themselves that there is something more than a transaction going on albeit a fun,friendly transaction and this can be troublesome or even dangerous for either party and that is nothing to do with a ladies state of mind.

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The extra time debate annoys me. 

Most of the guys who expect extra time wouldn't work a minute over their shift if they're not being paid for it but expect us to. When you book an hour in with a masseuse you get an hour, when you book a time slot of a solicitor you don't get free extra time, when you book a venue you don't get extra time you get what you've paid for, so why is this different in escorting? 

Why is it frowned up on for an escort to have a client out on the dot and not a second over? Yes it's bad when an escort doesn't give you the full hour and I do think that should be reported if she cuts your booking short, but I don't think an escort should be called a clock watcher if she gives her clients the exact amount of time they've paid for nor is she less of a service provider for giving you the full hour and nothing over, you shouldn't book an hour and expect 90 mins for free, as I'm sure most of you wouldn't work an extra 30 mins for free in your own work place. 

I've given extra time countless times with clients but this isn't down to favouritism or because we are sipping wine talking about life I have just gone with the flow, it doesn't always happen and it should never be expected. 

A good service provider services her clients well within the time they've paid and the clients leave satisfied. Extra time should not have to be given to make a client happy. 

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Some of my favourite escorts are those who have provided a cum twice service, rather than a 'timed' service. We aren't machines and the ladies who have offered, often without being asked, this service, are the ones that I have returned to.

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What if you don't come a second time, do you stay for days? 

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54 minutes ago, pollyp23 said:

Some of my favourite escorts are those who have provided a cum twice service, rather than a 'timed' service. We aren't machines and the ladies who have offered, often without being asked, this service, are the ones that I have returned to.

So have you returned because of the great service or returned because of the free extra time you got?

All my clients can climax as many times as they want in a booking with me, I think it's silly to have a "cum" policy. But if it's 5 minutes left in a hour booking and my client suddenly gets it up again, it's a piss take. 

Nobody said you are machines but when you book an hour an hour is what you should get. Would you work for free? 

If you don't like a "timed" service, how do you book escorts? Do you email up asking to book an hour but you don't want to be rushed? Those are the kind of guys I instantly block. Anyone expecting extra time isn't someone I want to see. Genuine punters understand an hour is an hour, 30 mins is 30 mins, if you happen to run over its a bonus. But seems like you expect to have extra time, every time.

What would you do if the escorts who say run over 15 mins with you usually, suddenly started asking for the 15 min fee on top of the fee you've paid? Guaranteed you'd soon stop visiting, but because it's free you keep returning. 

Edited by TightYoungEbony
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OJ seems to be saying that extra time means you get on well together. 

Once again I get on very well with the clients I described. Not inviting them to lounge around outside of bookings is not a reflection of how much I like, or dislike a person. 

That's not to say I don't do it, it all depends on many things. 

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Don't get me wrong. I NEVER expect extra time; in point of fact I always tell the Lady to "kick me out" if I have exceeded my time. My present lady never does that saying she enjoys my company (I'm not bragging). I have to guess as to whether I have exceeded my time because she does not have a clock in her bedroom & always insists on my taking my watch off. She invariably offers me the use of her shower but I decline as I think that I have already gone over my time & don't want to take advantage of her hospitality. I guess that I am very lucky. We are friends though, nothing else.

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1 hour ago, oldjack said:

Don't get me wrong. I NEVER expect extra time; in point of fact I always tell the Lady to "kick me out" if I have exceeded my time. My present lady never does that saying she enjoys my company (I'm not bragging). I have to guess as to whether I have exceeded my time because she does not have a clock in her bedroom & always insists on my taking my watch off. She invariably offers me the use of her shower but I decline as I think that I have already gone over my time & don't want to take advantage of her hospitality. I guess that I am very lucky We are friends though, nothing else.

Not necessarily. She could have many regulars she gives extra time to and does the exact same, not just you. 

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25 minutes ago, TightYoungEbony said:

Not necessarily. She could have many regulars she gives extra time to and does the exact same, not just you. 

This reminds me of clients who say that an Escort provides them with bareback, they are convinced they are the only one. In reality there is no way of knowing.

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5 hours ago, Strawberry said:

What if you don't come a second time, do you stay for days? 

:lol: :lol:

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2 hours ago, Strawberry said:

This reminds me of clients who say that an Escort provides them with bareback, they are convinced they are the only one. In reality there is no way of knowing.

Presumably we hope they are the only one in this case!!

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8 hours ago, Strawberry said:

What if you don't come a second time, do you stay for days? 

No, a cum, a chat, sometimes a drink or a meal, then another cum. Is this so difficult to understand?

 

 

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12 minutes ago, pollyp23 said:

No, a cum, a chat, sometimes a drink or a meal, then another cum. Is this so difficult to understand?

 

 

And if you book an hour at 6pm and you are out the door an hour precisely later, in your opinion does this mean this escort is less of a service provider than one who lets time run over by 20 minutes?

In my eyes I believe any client that walks in the door and expects me to give him extra time for him to climax or for him to have a great time is a boundary pusher in some form.

We as escorts are paid for our time, just like any other business whether it be a beauty therapist or a dermatologist, lawyer etc, the time you pay for is the exact amount of time you should get, is this so difficult to understand?

Edited by TightYoungEbony

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