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Kodiak

losing one's mojo

15 posts in this topic

Haven't posted for a while.

 

I used to think about sex constantly. I used to visit parlours, or book escorts, sometimes on a weekly basis when funds allowed. Couple of years ago I met someone and we had a brief thing. Although we got along we didn't last, partly because she didn't really do it for me. Once I went soft whilst in mid-flow and another time it just wouldn't work at all. I put it down to my lack of desire for her, and also that for the past few years I've been living with depression and work has become very stressful.

 

Fast-forward three years and I'm still being treated for depression. I foolishly stopped going to the gym and put on weight. My cock began to ache with an erection, and I could swear it has shrunk. Really shrunk now. It used to be small when flaccid but was a real grower; now it's a damned embarrassment. I went to STI clinic for check up and all ok. I now barely get an erection with porn and daren't try dating again or even escorts as I'm convinced there's something really wrong. I know that doc's constantly remind us of the benefits of exercise and my state of mind, along with my hated job, make me not want to wake in a morning.

 

I'm mid-forties and feel far too young to be out of the game. I'm not fussed about meeting someone right now but I'd love to book an escort and have a great time like I used to. Is it age, or will exercise really get me back to how I used to be? I know weight gain can affect cock size, but I now ejaculate only a fraction of what I used to and often I can't get anywhere near fully erect before I do so.

 

I know I shouldn't be embarrassed about going doc's but just wondered if anyone had experienced similar issues, and if exercise had done the trick, or am I just now impotent? I'm sure some will be thinking I've answered my own questions, but I'm really frustrated, mind's willing but tiny cock not so, even if I were willing to risk a booking.

 

Any thoughts appreciated.

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 Have you tried Viagra or similar booster   ?

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testosterone test. check its all working OK.  low testosterone can cause non sexual health issues.

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Posted (edited)

 

 Have you tried Viagra or similar booster   ?

I'm a fair bit older than you, but if it wasn't for Sildenafil I wouldn't even bother punting.....or wanking!

There are many minor and otherwise ignore-able ailments that cause ED as a side-effect - with me it is Peripheral Arterial Disease. Go and see your GP, be 100% honest about what is (or is not) happening to you, and suggest that you've heard good things about Sildenafil. I actually told my GP that I was planning on meeting prostitutes on a regular basis and, apart from giving me a little lecture on safe sex, she was totally fine with it.

Now that it's available on the NHS I would hope that your GP would be sympathetic as this is clearly harming your psychological well-being.

PS: If you can get them, go for the 100mg tabs - you can cut them in two and use part for a weekly punt and the remainder for some midweek porn surfing!

Edited by Siamese Tomcat
To make it better!
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Kodiak,

Weight, especially around your middle will kill testosterone levels, and increase your estrogen levels, too. Not a good combination for libido or frequent erections.

Feeling constantly sleepy, and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning is a common sign of depression.

Stress and depression will make it more difficult to even think about sex. Medication for depression will make it more difficult to have and sustain erections.

Not having regular erections will mean that the erectile tissue in your penis may not be 'refreshed' regularly and diminish. Don't panic - it will return if you fix the problem soon.

Weight will increase your blood pressure and make it more difficult to have and sustain erections.

Staying inside and not getting sunshine will lower vitamin D - and make is more difficult to have and sustain erections.

Stress will raise your cholesterol levels, make your blood thicker, and may lead to erection problems.

Not getting morning erections on waking, or not getting spontaneous erections during the day, is a bad sign.

You need to go to a sympathetic GP. My guess is that you will be told to: Get rid of the stress in your life. Loose some weight. Reduce alcohol intake. Adopt a Low fat diet. Take Statins. Take some more exercise (even going for a daily 30min walk will help enormously). Perhaps later a low daily dose of Cialis.

It only took me 6 or 7 months to get out of the hole that you are currently in. I was only a little older than you. By Christmas you could be well on your way.

P.

 

 

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If I were you I'd 'treat' yourself to an appointment with Dr Pixie (google is your friend) - she's absolutely lovely, completely non judgemental and although not cheap (approx £120) I'm sure she'll have lots of ideas and is by far the best GP I've ever met. She won't nag you about your lifestyle - is very sympathetic, knowledgeable, caring and inspiring.

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Thanks all, particularly Pickle. I'm on statins already and anti-depressants. Some things, like my job being contracted out to intellectual pygmies, I can do nothing about. I've never been a smoker or heavy drinker, but junk food is a problem.

Cheers anyway.

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Keep your chin up, Kodiak!

One life lesson, especially if you are on your own, is that every day you should do something for yourself. Do not let day after day pass by where you never do anything for you.

If that one thing is another simple step that takes you in a positive direction, then over time all of those simple steps add up. And eventually you find yourself in a different place.

P.

 

 

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Posted (edited)

I've lost a few friends to depressive illness (suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45 :(), I take it very seriously indeed. As Pickle says, be kind to yourself and please don't suffer in silence, there are people who do care about you and will help; you can find some here: https://thecalmzone.net/about-calm/what-is-calm/

Edited by MySecretLife
Clarity
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Stopped the anti-depressants and feel a bit more frisky than before, but now I think I have Peyronies Disease, as I've noticed he's way more bent when erect now, and the discomfort also coincides with symptoms.

 

Just need to lose some weight and see if that helps. I feel rather old rather suddenly.

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Glad to hear there's been some progress, at least.

Like Siamese Tomcat above, I'm an older punter, so it's easier for us to take erection problems in our stride - we can comfort ourselves that it comes with the territory. If I'd had them in my forties, I'd have been worried too,

I don't think you should ever feel embarrassed with a wg (of course, you need to choose carefully!). Explain your problem in advance and then take it easy when you're there and don't feel driven to perform. It can be terrific fun just playing with their bodies and letting them play with yours - like naughty children. Touching and being touched is 90% of what we need.

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48 minutes ago, Colonel Bonkers said:

Glad to hear there's been some progress, at least.

Like Siamese Tomcat above, I'm an older punter, so it's easier for us to take erection problems in our stride - we can comfort ourselves that it comes with the territory. If I'd had them in my forties, I'd have been worried too,

I don't think you should ever feel embarrassed with a wg (of course, you need to choose carefully!). Explain your problem in advance and then take it easy when you're there and don't feel driven to perform. It can be terrific fun just playing with their bodies and letting them play with yours - like naughty children. Touching and being touched is 90% of what we need.

Bonkers said it very well! :) Many of us have seen it all and don't mind if it's not all 100% straightforward. If you mention your concerns in advance, I'm confident you wouldn't have any issues, and in fact would have a lot of fun! There are lots of girls out there who advertise as being sympathetic towards individual needs such as this.

I imagine a bit of fun could go a ways towards building some confidence again!

Of course, general healthiness never hurt either!

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Visited a parlour yesterday, first sex in months. Very self-conscious about both my weight and particularly my willy, which is now bent upwards at least 60° for the last two inches when erect. Lady was lovely and very understanding, but sex was painful with the bend, even getting on the condom was an effort.

At least getting hard was no problem, it's just the Peyronie's I need sorting out, as I'm back down the gym to get myself healthier.

Just in case any other guys experience what I have over the last twelve months or so, it started with uncomfortable erections and a lumpy feeling in the shaft. GUM clinic said everything fine. Erections became significantly shorter, but I put this down to my weight gain. Then you get the bend.

It's pretty easy to find info on this condition, but last thing any guy wants is a procedure that will shorten the penis, so I'm hoping they can do the surgery that lengthens the affected side rather than shortening the unaffected side. I feel a little better about this now, as it's not all over for me and I'm certainly not suffering alone; it's estimated the condition can affect up to 20% of men at some point. But I write this in the hope of giving encouragement to others who may feel how I did not so long ago.

I'll update the thread with the treatments and advice offered by the doc; I'm hoping he'll refer me straight to urology specialist as the condition is over twelve months now and considered matured.

 

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Very pleased to hear things are on the up again. Hope you make a full recovery

 

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I tend to lose my mojo straight after sex and only have sleep on my mind thereafter!!!! 

Good to hear from you and hope my post brings further smiles...

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