Johnnyryall2003

Advice for first timer

13 posts in this topic

Hi all, long time lurker here. Thanks for all the info. I don't want to get too deep here (!) but I am considering my first punt, and I would like to ask you veterans about the overall impact on your lives. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic. But I am, just like you I'm sure, a normal bloke of a certain age with a nice wife and no real previous inclination to indulge in this sort of behaviour. But nonetheless, I want to experience life to the full, and I'm sure once I get it out of my system I can carry on as before. 

I guess I'm being a bit tragic and asking for some support in advance of making the decision. My concerns are: 1) I won't be able to just laugh it off (to myself) and will feel a bit dirty, and 2) no matter how hard I research I'm going to end up with a girl who basically would rather not be in this job. (I'm a soft liberal who doesn't want to contribute more misery to the world!)

You old hands will think this is silly I'm sure. But I feel like doing this will help me, as I say, get it out of my system. I'm not looking for anything more than that. Any advice appreciated.

(For those who care, I am considering Marisol - she's with various agencies, but I think I'd go through Babylon Girls as you guys have rated them well. Other than her, Bijoux Escorts would be my next preference).

Thanks for indulging this newbie nonsense ;)

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I might not be the best person to answer, as the overall impact on my life is that I have really good sex with lots of different gorgeous women on an almost weekly basis. When I weigh this up in terms of the overall impact on my life, I have to say that is generally very positive and means that I spend a lot of the time smiling in a generally contented and happy kind of way. But I am single and not married, so I wouldn't want to pass comment on what impact that it might have on your married life. But in relation to 'feeling dirty', I don't feel dirty at all (if it's sex between consenting adults, why feel dirty?). And in relation to ending up with a girl who would basically rather not be in this job, I don't think I have come across that for quite a long time (hint, look for girls on AW who say they really enjoy what they are doing). My main concern for you, is that once you start, you probably won't want to stop, and you need to consider the possible impact of that, particularly on your marriage and also your finances. No problem with newbie nonsense ! Hope you enjoy yourself, whatever your decision.

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Marisol looks lovely .... always a good sign if a review says she looks like her pictures. But I'm not sure how much it really matters which agency you book her through, as at the end of the day, you'll be meeting the same person. And I would tell her it's your first time with an escort, as she'll probably be more understanding. And being open, friendly and relaxed (and clean ! ) and able to communicate clearly is always a good foundation for a nice encounter .... if you decide to proceed of course ! 

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Much appreciated visconti. Thanks.

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There must be girls who really don't want to be on the job, but in fifty some years I don't think I've met one. There certainly are a good few who found themselves very suddenly short of a man to pay school fees, mortgage and so on and so forth, due to death, desertion or prison, and who looked at them selves in the mirror and, probably with the advice of a girlfriend, realised, with more or less rfeluctance, that the only job that they could go for which would pay, immediately, enough to meet the outgoings, was sex-work, but there are also a good few who enjoy sex, but more significantly are warm human beings who get a hell of a kick out of giving pleasure to blokes who for any reason or none don't / can't get it from a wife / girlfriend. They also enjoy meeting and talking with all manner of guys who they wouldn't have met otherwise.

So, no, I don't feel dirty! My main difficulty is finding explanations in my "real life" for all the extraordinary range of revelation, information and discovery that I've gained while still together "after".

Have you read, or better still seen, Jean Genet's "le Balcon"? (Yes, I know that as Mrs Whitehouse said, Genet was a homosexuel of disgusting habits, but he produced great art!) If you have you'll get an idea of how to separate the different sides of your life and how to join them again.

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IMO once Pandora's box has been opened, you won't be closing it

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On 10/6/2016 at 0:09 AM, Irgendeiner said:

There must be girls who really don't want to be on the job, but in fifty some years I don't think I've met one. There certainly are a good few who found themselves very suddenly short of a man to pay school fees, mortgage and so on and so forth, due to death, desertion or prison, and who looked at them selves in the mirror and, probably with the advice of a girlfriend, realised, with more or less rfeluctance, that the only job that they could go for which would pay, immediately, enough to meet the outgoings, was sex-work, but there are also a good few who enjoy sex, but more significantly are warm human beings who get a hell of a kick out of giving pleasure to blokes who for any reason or none don't / can't get it from a wife / girlfriend. They also enjoy meeting and talking with all manner of guys who they wouldn't have met otherwise.

So, no, I don't feel dirty! My main difficulty is finding explanations in my "real life" for all the extraordinary range of revelation, information and discovery that I've gained while still together "after".

Have you read, or better still seen, Jean Genet's "le Balcon"? (Yes, I know that as Mrs Whitehouse said, Genet was a homosexuel of disgusting habits, but he produced great art!) If you have you'll get an idea of how to separate the different sides of your life and how to join them again.

Ok, a mention of Genet and a user called Visconti... I'm thinking Bowie is looking down wryly ;)

Ta for advice.

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9 hours ago, spankybans said:

IMO once Pandora's box has been opened, you won't be closing it

Ha! Much to consider... ta.

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Hi Johnnyryall2003

I've just had my first punt, for slightly complex reasons (hot wife, happy marriage, hot sex, but we've agreed to go a bit polyamorous and see what happens).

My thoughts, fyi:

i. i don't think you'll feel like you've got anything out of your system: if it's good, you'll want more

ii. re. laughing it off, etc. I guess not all punts are created equal. Depending on context, girl, etc. you could have a truly intense experience or er, a shit time. I think, ideally, it shouldn't be something to laugh off at all. Without trying to sound too grand, I take all my human interactions seriously from a moral pov, even a girl i'm paying £200 to blow me.

iii. re. being a soft liberal taking advantage. I think the answer to any moral qualms, is to pay good money, (seriously) and, if your conscience needs more, then tip well- I'm not joking. It's a bit like my missus reluctantly buying from China when there's no decent alternative, and giving a tenner to Free Tibet.

My first punt was with Allegra at Rosebuds- she was basically fab! A lot of listening to my explaining what i was doing there, then lots of hot action, humour, genuine conversation, more hot action, etc. 

iv. While walking there, I said to myself: 'Don't expect to enjoy it, don't expect to be able to perform'. Humility and a sense of human absurdity will go a long way...

v. The enjoyment rather came in waves- there were times when i thought, 'Meh' and times when I was super turned on. But don't expect it to have the human sweetness of a non-commercial liaison.

So, rather than 'Enjoy!', I think, in the spirit of Visconti (Tony!), Bowie, Genet and Shakti, i would say, take it seriously and respectfully while keeping a sense of absurdity. At its best, you might even bring something nourishing back to your marriage.

Rob

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Happy to contribute to any thread that covers Genet Bowie Visconti and liberal values, though I should point out that Visconti was also the director of Death in Venice, not that this has really got much to do with my Punternet moniker. But my outlook on life is definitely liberal as well, and that includes respecting everyone I encounter whoever they are (cf llovesoma's taking all human interactions seriously) and I generally can't stand bigots, and that definitely includes mysoginists. Anyway, I guess my point is that I don't really have a problem personally with squaring punting and my liberal values, as long as I feel that I'm not exploiting or taking advantage of anyone's misfortune. Maybe this means that I always go in with a fairly open mind, I'm very selective with who I see (as in I want to know that this is something that they are doing out of personal choice), I don't expect or demand anything, and I'm fairly sure this all contributes to why I generally have a really good time, because l think girls respond to being treated respectfully and with good manners. And yes I have been known to tip as well. All of which would be dismissed as fluffy nonsense on the UKP site !

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Another longterm lurker here and I could have written the OP.

Johnnyryall - would you please let us know what you decided, how it went, and whether or not you are now confident about closing Pandora's box?

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I can only reiterate what others have said. The only sex workers that would rather be some place else are Street walkers and drug addicts. Professional escorts are just that, professional, and the vast majority love their job. It's been said that many start out as uni students to pay their way then just end up staying in the trade by choice. So you wont be contributing to misery. If there is one thing that will piss off an escort it's if you turn up with a face like a slapped arse.

I had similar dilemmas but it's honestly the best thing I ever did. My biggest worry was if I became addicted and became financially irresponsible. but I could walk away if I wanted. It's impacted my life in that I no longer get sexually frustrated, I no longer have to suffer bouts of depression, if I'm gagging I can pick up the phone. 

 

Edited by audioguy
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Although it is true, there are girls who don't want to do this, there are some who love this lifestyle. I personally like the attention. The ones that are only doing it for the money aren't about very long. Check out some reviews it's all there. Find the right girl, have a great time.

Remember, if it feels good, it can't be bad.

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