RedAlertTourist

Dealing with work collegues who assume you use W/G.

32 posts in this topic

Hi there

Now over the past few months I've been learning to be a bit more confident and centred when it comes to dealing with my Achilies Heel- which is NOT talking about sex with work collegues.

Now in a work environment I've been in that a situation like in the film

"40 year old Virgin" where people are talking about their experiences with their Girlfriends, One Night Stands etc or are mentioning they don't have the time or money for a girlfriend (although I doubt the validity of these conversations).

Now I am the happiest person because by using W/G I have pushed my bed tally up to 6 now, and by end of 2010 it will be 10.

However when people ask about my sex life I do not know how to respond.

Its not as simple as that though. I once told an old "mate" of mine that I planned to go to Amsterdam and sleep with a W/G a few years back.

I then made the mistake of telling people I did go and this did the rounds.

In my last job (a temporary one) a work collegue was making sarcasitic remarks about his girlfirend being an Eastern European Prostitute in my presence.

So what do you guys do for a living and how would you cope if you thought work collegues knew you did the deed.

I live in a small town so I think the damage is already done.:rolleyes:

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You can tell them that they're entitled to their own assumptions but that your private life is none of their damn business. What do you care what they think anyway? Sad that they have nothing to do except petty backbiting.

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Why the hell do you want to talk to work colleagues about sex - that was stuff for the playground not the workplace!

Don't join in with them.

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You would be surprised [or not] at how much banter of a sexual nature still goes on in the workplace. Usually companies run by males who think it's funny and cool to show off or belittle others with their exploits.

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I have told one or two (trustworthy) work mates and they were fine with it although its not something they themselves would ever do.

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"None of their business" should be the right attitude.

My last job was a Call Centre and its not just Males its also Females (Managers included).

Some pre sales meeting barter did involved some "jokey true or dare sex questions" going around the room.

Having said that; what did I expect from a tacky job like that.

Oh well just as well I have bigger fish to fry at the moment

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first thing, I would not believe a word of what they say. Blokes who talk about it probably dont do it IMHO

I am VERY careful to keep my work, home and punting lives very compartmentalised. You are single now but later you may be wed and a manager and revalations you make now may come back to bite you on the bum.

did nearly drop a bollock by contradicting an assertion by a colleague that punting was illegal. oops!

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My call centre sales job involved male managers harassing all employees just in different ways - physical/verbal abuse for the guys and sexual/sexuality for the women. Lots of general showing off went on though regards their conquests which would be announced to the whole office.

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If the subject comes up while with a client I advise them to never tell anyone what they do. There is no going back and who knows at a later date if friendships or working relationships can sour, thus opening a huge can of worms which you may find yourself floating in!

Remember though, you men.... by the law of averages, out of all those mates and colleagues who say they would never punt themselves... there will be some little fibbers among them.

:rolleyes:

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I always gave the impression of being very naive and easily shocked in such matters. I also tended to avoid discussions about sexual matters. People who thought I punted seemed to be either jealous or pass snide remarks on the quiet. Others would sometimes speculate but I would never react. I found that their speculation gave me more insight into what their behaviour would be in my circumstances, rather than any accurate insight into my situation.

I only recall one near miss. A colleague was telling a group of us that his daughter wanted to have a stud put in her tongue and just could not understand why women would want to do this. Nobody else could think of the reason until I, in an unguarded moment, said "Surely you've tried it, haven't you? Pause. "Oral se......." stopped in time and then rapidly changed the subject!! (Looking at their blank faces, it then occurred to me that some of them may never have had oral sex, let alone studded oral!!)

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If the subject comes up while with a client I advise them to never tell anyone what they do. There is no going back and who knows at a later date if friendships or working relationships can sour, thus opening a huge can of worms which you may find yourself floating in!

Remember though, you men.... by the law of averages, out of all those mates and colleagues who say they would never punt themselves... there will be some little fibbers among them.

Indeed. Be aware of those that protest a thing too much.

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As a final note be wary of people throwing "curb balls" to catch you out.

I remember on a Coffee Break this one guy said how his buddy went to Amsterdam and had fun with W/Gs.

The other guys in earshot said they would so use an Escort, but i felt the conversation had a "fishy tone" to it so I neither reacted nor did I chime in.

I think there are so many cocky jobsworth office guys who don't get sex-

full stop, because they are lousy with women in general and don't have the balls to hire an Escort or fly to Amsterdam for real.

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If the subject comes up while with a client I advise them to never tell anyone what they do. There is no going back and who knows at a later date if friendships or working relationships can sour, thus opening a huge can of worms which you may find yourself floating in!

Remember though, you men.... by the law of averages, out of all those mates and colleagues who say they would never punt themselves... there will be some little fibbers among them.

:rolleyes:

You make an excellent point. When i first started punting in the 80s i didnt tell anyone but was about to tell a very close friend when we had a massive and permanent falling out that was very bitter. In my view i wouldnt of put it past him to have told my then partner out of spite.

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As a final note be wary of people throwing "curb balls" to catch you out.

I remember on a Coffee Break this one guy said how his buddy went to Amsterdam and had fun with W/Gs.

The other guys in earshot said they would so use an Escort, but i felt the conversation had a "fishy tone" to it so I neither reacted nor did I chime in.

I think there are so many cocky jobsworth office guys who don't get sex-

full stop, because they are lousy with women in general and don't have the balls to hire an Escort or fly to Amsterdam for real.

Just keep your punting experiences to yourself is my advice. Get used to doing so and you'll never get drawn in to any of the baiting session. If you haven't got any civilian experiences to draw on if the conversation gets round to sex at work, don't participate. Work is for working, not bragging about imaginary sex lives after all. Nine times out of ten the other guys are exaggerating their own experiences anyway.

If you are mature about it, any girls in your workplace will probably respect and like you more for it anyway. If any of the guys give you a hard time about not participating in the bragging sessions, they are probably not worth hanging out with anyway.

If you want to talk about punting with anyone, this is the place to do it :rolleyes:.

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I always gave the impression of being very naive and easily shocked in such matters. I also tended to avoid discussions about sexual matters. People who thought I punted seemed to be either jealous or pass snide remarks on the quiet. Others would sometimes speculate but I would never react. I found that their speculation gave me more insight into what their behaviour would be in my circumstances, rather than any accurate insight into my situation.

I only recall one near miss. A colleague was telling a group of us that his daughter wanted to have a stud put in her tongue and just could not understand why women would want to do this. Nobody else could think of the reason until I, in an unguarded moment, said "Surely you've tried it, haven't you? Pause. "Oral se......." stopped in time and then rapidly changed the subject!! (Looking at their blank faces, it then occurred to me that some of them may never have had oral sex, let alone studded oral!!)

Very funny...although the bloke who's daughter was having it done probably wouldn't have appreciated it either...

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In unguarded moments I have had a surprisingly large number of my work clients let slip about brothel visits in Soho or girlfriends in Prague. I always show interest but keep my own adventures to myself.

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did nearly drop a bollock by contradicting an assertion by a colleague that punting was illegal. oops!

That doesn't out you as a punter, just as someone who actually knows something about something (which is increasingly rare in Brown's Britain) so pat on the back.

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No offence RedAlertTourist but your comments come across as immature and paranoid.

I don't understand why you would want to discuss punting with people at work. Surely you can see why thats not a good idea.

Also, you mention people trying to throw curve balls at you and "out" you as a punter. I find this very hard to believe unless you have given a number of people in your work place the impression that you use WGs. If you have done that then you are entirely to blame,

I work in a office environment with a diverse group of people. There is no way I would ever discuss my punting and if asked anything about punting I would feign ignorance. I don't have to justify myself to my work colleagues and I'm not going to give them something to judge me by.

As it happens, an ex-work colleague of mine who I met for a drink recently told me about when he went to Thailand, the WGs there and how he took part. He asked me if I fancied going there with him.

We're both single and I've never discussed punting with him before. My response was I could understand why blokes would punt and told him that like him I would have no qualms in paying for it whether it be here or there. I left it at that.

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Sex is more or less all people talk about at work in my opinion, ditto so called dinner parties. However I personally have only told a couple of people about what I get up to. As one poster pointed out, these things can come back to haunt you. Though as commercial sex grows its market share every year, I am pretty relaxed about being outed.

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Just keep your punting experiences to yourself is my advice. .........If you want to talk about punting with anyone, this is the place to do it :).

Very good advice - especially in a work environment.

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I always gave the impression of being very naive and easily shocked in such matters. I also tended to avoid discussions about sexual matters. People who thought I punted seemed to be either jealous or pass snide remarks on the quiet. Others would sometimes speculate but I would never react. I found that their speculation gave me more insight into what their behaviour would be in my circumstances, rather than any accurate insight into my situation.

I only recall one near miss. A colleague was telling a group of us that his daughter wanted to have a stud put in her tongue and just could not understand why women would want to do this. Nobody else could think of the reason until I, in an unguarded moment, said "Surely you've tried it, haven't you? Pause. "Oral se......." stopped in time and then rapidly changed the subject!! (Looking at their blank faces, it then occurred to me that some of them may never have had oral sex, let alone studded oral!!)

The tongue stud thing is funny. Whenever this subject comes up I usually point out that it must be great for her girlfriend, that really gets people going.

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Never mix your private life with your work life, I dont even socialise with my workmates, that way nothing gets said that shouldnt be and you avoid people having " something on you".

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For a few years I had a client who simply used me as a sounding board for ideas he had for implementation in his business and wanted a neutral to vet them. We met in central London which was a stopping off point for him, and after a couple of meetings worked out that he was going off to get serviced before continuing his journey, in fact he admitted it, at which point I burst out laughing and said I had been for a service before the meeting. Provided me great cover for visiting the oriental agency girls. Unfortunately he has now retired.

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I usually point out that it must be great for her girlfriend, that really gets people going

Good one :)

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I go on the "two people can keep a secret as long as one's dead" principle, and keep lips sealed.

But in general I don't think it would matter much to me if works colleagues knew or not. (The exception, of course is the few friends I've made at work... though I'd be surprised if any were really bothered.)

The real "issue" is with family... though I was freed some time ago, by ex-wife thoughtfully telling me to piss off. I come from a very large family, with a very wide range of ages and values. Again I doubt if any would be unduly troubled, but do not want to run risk of upsetting any of them.

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