talljoe

What is the most pathetic excuse for not making it to a punt?

18 posts in this topic

I was amazed after reading the recent thread where a punter admitted he couldn't make it up 7 flights of stairs to a ladies flat.

So ladies, do you ever worry that a punter might keel over on you? What is the worst excuse you have heard for not making it to an appointment?

Gents, do you worry about not completing what you started, or is this hobby your method of keeping the blood flowing?

Sorry for the multiple questions.

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I had a Client who's wife died twice in 2 years! He was a crap liar. His cat also got leukemia and had a stroke. Unlucky chap I'd say, oh and once he brought some chocolates to an appointment - I thought they were for me but he said they were for his wife as she was under the weather! Dear God, yes she would be wouldn't she. Dying twice must be tough. :rolleyes::(

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Now hang on Joe. Not all of us are young shavers. We aren't necessarily overweight but the years do catch up on you and time and gravity aren't kind to one's muscles. I'm sure that there many elderly contributors to these boards who might take issue with those who have taken to task the old boy who couldn't make it up 7 flights.

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7 Flights and no lift ?

it should have been in her profile, unless of course the lift just broke down, and the engineer was on his way.

no showing is like having a day off sick at work, no one ever really believes you.

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There are chair lifts now day's for 'ol folks' you know, they can whizz right to the top of the building and WHOOOOOSHHHH

oh, dear....................................................:rolleyes:

((((((((((((hello, Mr Topps, can you here me ????)))))))))))

out of the Exit door :(:eek::):):rolleyes:

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There are chair lifts now day's for 'ol folks' you know, they can whizz right to the top of the building and WHOOOOOSHHHH

Again, if its not in the profile, its probably going to be an extra ?

how about sex in the lift though, that could be fun, is 7 floors going to give you enough time, do you wonder ?

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I had a gent ring me to say he couldn't make it because he was stuck in a big holdup on the motorway but I could here the TV in the background, it was the same program I was watching at the time :rolleyes:

Now lads don't tell me he had a TV in his car, I'm not buying that one :(

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Again, if its not in the profile, its probably going to be an extra ?

how about sex in the lift though, that could be fun, is 7 floors going to give you enough time, do you wonder ?

Listen Guestspeaker, I would be up those stairs before you could even blink lol

:rolleyes::);)

Sex in the lift is one of my fantasies though hon :( well, only a glass lift :)

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Listen Guestspeaker, I would be up those stairs before you could even blink lol

Sex in the lift is one of my fantasies though hon :rolleyes: well, only a glass lift :)

There is a lovely glass lift in a hotel in the centre of MK :)

Nat try it out sometime :(

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There is a lovely glass lift in a hotel in the centre of MK :(

Nat try it out sometime :rolleyes:

Oh look I should be in bed lol :)

What's it called Ginger ? :) xxx

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Sex in the lift is one of my fantasies though hon :rolleyes: well, only a glass lift :(

And only one overlooking the foyer !

what about the london eye - any good for you ?

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I had a gent ring me to say he couldn't make it because he was stuck in a big holdup on the motorway but I could here the TV in the background, it was the same program I was watching at the time :rolleyes:

Now lads don't tell me he had a TV in his car, I'm not buying that one :(

'tis certainly possible, it must be said. TV for passengers is quite common at the top end of the market. He might even have had a chaffeur and was calling from the back seat.

Then again, maybe not;)

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Are we talking serial bookers'n'spookers?

The boys who seem to be addicted to booking then calling to cancel?.

I don't wait to find out what excuse Einstien comes up with anymore- 2 hits and they're never going to nibble on my digestives.

When I recognise his voice or number, I can usually put the last (or last few) names he used. I childe them and point out when he last phoned as Gordon of Abergele, and ask why and so on. It seems to cure the condition, or at least get them out of habit of calling ME to feed their need.

I do wonder if theyre just shy or its some sort of cancelation fetish. I wonder if they hang around airports and railway stations for the announcer to give em a thrill.:rolleyes:

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I was amazed after reading the recent thread where a punter admitted he couldn't make it up 7 flights of stairs to a ladies flat.

No, I've never "made my excuses and left", but then I'm not (nor ever have been) a NoW hack!

On the other hand, nowadays, when a lady has brought me to a joyful conclusion, I have remarked that it takes more out of me than running up the stairs!

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And only one overlooking the foyer !

what about the london eye - any good for you ?

I had a client last week who was telling me about when he had sex on the London Eye.

He has a much more exciting list of places than me :rolleyes:

Worst excuse... the cash machine has no money, I'll have to cancel. Eh, there are 4 cash machines about there. Sorry, this one's empty, can't make it.

I had a regular for a while who wouldn't show up half the time, he said he got too nervous. In the end he drove me far too insane.

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Erm, if I had to walk up 7 flights of stairs for a shag there would be no point unless CPR was not an extra!! If a WG wants to have her flat there then she aint going to get a lot of repeat business.

I have a TV in my car (Television you fool!!).

I have never not managed to make it on the day but I have had to cry off a couple of appts with 2 days notice and have at the time reset the appt and completed it.

I have also, strangely enough, never had a girl fail to make the appointed date (Albeit I have had a couple be a little flakey on timekeeping).

Silliest excuse I have seen recently from the other side is "my nephew fell out of a tree" but then again I am sure that the girl in question did have a nephew and think maybe he may have fallen out of a tree at one point even if not on the day in question so.............................

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I've never had someone call to cancel and make an excuse. They either re-book or are never heard from again. But the ones who want to reschedule for later that day are the funniest. The best one by far was a guy who called wanting a booking an hour later. I gave him the approximate directions, and half an hour later he texted asking if he could delay his booking by an hour. Turns out, his dog was very very very sick and had to be taken to the vet at once. But in an hour's time everything would be peachy and he'd be up for all manner of strumpetty goodness. I thinks not!

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Once I was travelling to a punt (65 miles by road) and a cyclist got totalled on the road ahead (Dual carriageway and by the time we realised it was backed up and no way out). However as I normally leave an hour for "Murphy's Law", I was able to ring the WG 2 90 mins before the punt and explain. I offered to reschedule but she said she only had the one appt so get there when I could. I kept her posted and eventually turned up about 2 hours "late" but we then proceeded to have a good time.

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