0691guyshospital

excuses you give to be absent for a punt

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hi im interested in excuses us men can give to our other halfs to be absent for a couple of hours when we are going for a punt.

ive used going to the dentist/going for a country drive/visiting friends etc.

your excuses appreciated

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Some of the excuses my guys have used ;

- a game of golf

- taking the car for a service

- meeting over run

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I only punt when my OH is away on business so I don't have a problem, other than finding a plausible excuse for going out after work - drinks with mates, dinner with a friend, club night with the Porker boys etc.

Its safe as you get lots of time to check for stray hairs, lipstick on collars etc and the lady you visit is at liberty to be awash with perfume which is always nice.

I could probably manage a weekday afternoon when the OH was around but I don't feel much like shagging before dinner:)

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I punt out of town, and generally get other items in that town, the smell of perfume is caused by the ladies that i have to sit on the bus with....

My time is very limited so not to bring attention to my lateness, i tend to pre book, or arrive early to get a choice.

No need to make excuses, just tend to spend most of the time in the parlour, and less time getting the items needed in the town.

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My best excuse, when I could still afford the subscription, was going to the gym.

You can go more or less anytime, and you can stay for a few hours.

You don't need anyone to go with, as you would for golf or squash, so no need to fix a mate as alibi.

If necessary, you can really pop into the gym on the way back for a shower.

Best if the OH is not a member, of course.

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Since I'm now fully retired (and so is Mrs Pokey) and don't play golf it's a complete bugger.

However, I do have charity meetings to attend and genealogical research involving visits to far flung record orifices (sorry: 'offices') and I try to coincide my punting with Mrs Pokey's visits to lunch with friends elsewhere too.

All in all I get in my very much valued once a month punt most times.

And there's always the reunion lunch or dinner of my old work colleagues too!

Uncle Pokey

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I'm too ashamed to go into detail about the elaborate setup that i have constructed. Before i started this at the age of 56 i wouldn't have dreamt of lying to anyone and certainly not my better half.

The destruction of previously good character is the big regret that i have about getting into something which is very difficult to get out of.

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However, I do have charity meetings to attend and genealogical research

LOL I read that as "gynaecological research" at first!

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hi im interested in excuses us men can give to our other halfs to be absent for a couple of hours when we are going for a punt.

ive used going to the dentist/going for a country drive/visiting friends etc.

your excuses appreciated

Try the truth:

I am going to a sex professional because I need a decent blow job!

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I just book in a few fictitious appointments or do some extra appointments a few days before then add them in on the day I need to find time, I can usually find a couple of spare hours when the need arises, mind I still get questioned as to my movements, and have been threatened with a tracker by the other half, life's a bitch lol

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Mine always says he's going for a Massage..... :D

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..... Before i started this at the age of 56 i wouldn't have dreamt of lying to anyone and certainly not my better half.

The destruction of previously good character is the big regret that i have about getting into something which is very difficult to get out of.

I know the feeling. One side-effect is the tendency to clam up all the time as a matter of course. It becomes difficult to have a normal relaxed conversation where you'd throw in minor comments like "I saw a funny thing on the M25 yesterday", in case you get asked "What were you doing on the M25?".

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Usually it's a business visit and I return to work afterwards.

When my wife is away I have taken the day off work and gone for a 2 hour appointment. These are much more relaxing as I don't have to check myself over for any tell tale signs.

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I know the feeling. One side-effect is the tendency to clam up all the time as a matter of course. It becomes difficult to have a normal relaxed conversation where you'd throw in minor comments like "I saw a funny thing on the M25 yesterday", in case you get asked "What were you doing on the M25?".

Excellent advice - can't be emphasized too much.

But, connected with the M25, don't forget the invaluable all-purpose excuse - 'Traffic was a bitch!'

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Punt mainly on Saturday afternoons & some weekday evenings before/after/instead of the football (which I am passionate about attending;) & Mrs T doesn't mind, bless her). Away games with a bit of travelling are best.

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Punt mainly on Saturday afternoons & some weekday evenings before/after/instead of the football (which I am passionate about attending;) & Mrs T doesn't mind, bless her). Away games with a bit of travelling are best.

When I lived elsewhere I used to use the "going to football " excuse fairly regularly but now I live in Devon I can't. No one would ever believe that I'd go and watch Plymouth, Exeter or Torquay!!

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So far, i've only ever done it when I'm supposed to be working, so use the "going for an offsite meeting with xxx" excuse. Nobody checks, so I've gotten away with it.

To be honest, it adds to the excitement ( the risk of getting caught etc.):(

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why not try the " my mates havin problems and needs to talk" excuse, it can work maybe 3-4 times depending on the severity of the "problem"

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Best thing I find it to build it into your lifestyle so you don't have to come up with a specific excuse every time you want a punt.

Hobbies like golf or the gym are ideal because you can schedule them when you want and they easily cover the time for a punt. But you need to make the excuse genuine by actually going to the gym some of the time.

For me, I have a job working very long and irregular hours with lots of meetings round the country, so it's easy to fit in punts after meetings or at lunchtime, or in the evening when I'm working away. My work doesn't suffer either because frankly I put in enough time there that I need some R&R, fortunately it pays well enough to fund my punting hobby.

I also go to the football a fair amount and as mentioned above an away game where I'm "meeting the lads for a drink first" gives plenty of time for a punt, which is what I've got scheduled for tomorrow lunchtime !

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genealogical research i

Surely you mean gynaecological :D

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Usually takew advantage of Mrs BobJim being at parents overnight and I also have one very convenient business meeting per month -

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It's best if you can plan ahead a while before you need excuses in my experience. Start a regular appointment, like going to the gym, or a hobby that your OH will have no interest in.

Then establish a pattern of being away, so it becomes part of your routine and your OH loses interest.

After that, swap out the odd regular appointment for a punt.

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Try the truth:

I am going to a sex professional because I need a decent blow job!

All very well Inna, but I don't think the Misses would be too happy if I told her that. Could be grounds for divorce:(:D

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Try:

'Ive been asked to work for A Branch Of The Government part-time for The Good Of The Country, but I am unable to tell you any more'

or

'I've joined the Masons, and Lodge Night is xday. Pity this Lodge doesn't have a Ladies' Night, though.'

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I used to go through all sort of hoops to make my viisits happen - I used golf as an excuse, I used going down the gym, traffic problems etc etc

Now my circumstances have changed, and I can punt without any problems at anytime I want, my favourite girl has now got family problems of her own and can only see me on the odd occasion - grrrrrrr - isn't life a bitch!!

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