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Guest Lessingham

Is a cruise profitable?

13 posts in this topic

Another slow day at the salt mine. Oh where could I find a young woman who will pretend to be my secretary for cash?

Anyhow, Mrs L is choosng the holidays and we seem to be gravitating towards a cruise. Me being a dirty old sod has been looking at the chances of punting on a cruise ship. It seems the answer is no.

(i think there is an old thread about Xenia on a cruise that eneded in a spectacular fasion involving onions I recall)

Has anyone thought of booking a cruise and then offering a punting service or is it too expensive, too easy to get caught or just one of those things that does not go with punting?

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Actually, I was a singer on a cruise ship for a while.

It's an interesting job and a way of life.

The problem is, if one is a member of crew on board, especiually in the entertainment arena, then one gets many MANY propositions. I lost count of the number of times I was asked by passengers to join them; male, female, couples, you name it. I actually declined every one as it is strictly forbidden to enter into misbehaviour with passengers. Of course, it does happen, but if you bring into it the notion of paying for it then I suspect there would be some serious repercussions.

I have toyed with the idea of 'touring on a cruise ship', I think it would be great fun, but the questions of how I would advertise such a service, whether I would get enough bookings to make it worthwhile, how ship security would deal with it (they are pretty hot on inappropriate behaviour) have made it likely that this is not something I would pursue as a realistic venture.

I have been a 'travel companion' with a gentleman on a cruise and we did make a new friend or two while we were away, but that, of course is a different story...

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Thank's for the reply, Belle.

I never thought of security. I cannot imagine any working girl wanting to end her career drifting off into the sunset in a lifeboat reciting The Owl and The Pussycat.

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Thank's for the reply, Belle.

I never thought of security. I cannot imagine any working girl wanting to end her career drifting off into the sunset in a lifeboat reciting The Owl and The Pussycat.

Oh lovely Pussy ! Oh Pussy my love.

What a beautiful Pussy you are,

You are !

What a beautiful Pussy you are.

Says it all really. :D

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Girls that get seasick would prolly say 'no'. Ditto punters - I mean if you get seasick, punting would be the last thing on your mind.

Uncle Pokey

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There are far,far more unattached females than males on the average cruiseship, a guy I know was employed as professional dance partner. I reckon a wgs would last less than 24hours on a cruiseship. it seems an ideal environment for a mature cassanova, who fancies mature females.

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Girls that get seasick would prolly say 'no'. Ditto punters - I mean if you get seasick, punting would be the last thing on your mind.

Uncle Pokey

Most cruise ships are pretty stable nowadays - especially the large ones. Of course it depends when/where you are sailing - the Red Sea is like a millpond, for example.

Pooter, it's funny you should say that, one of our regular passengers was 96 and he would follow the ship around no matter where in the world it was, because it was his favourite. He would spend at least 1 week a month on board and I swear, every time he came aboard he would end up with a different woman (after spending the first 2 days trying to grope the entertainments team) Bless him. He got more action than some porn stars.

And whitehorse, my pussy is undoubtedly lovely - I never sang about that though :D

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See http://www.allaboutcruisesandmore.com/prostitution-on-cruise-ships

Once you get past the fearsome threat from the FBI this rather suggests that, because lots of ladies of a certain age infest cruise ships, the market if for gigolos - sorry, 'Gentlemen Hosts' not WGs.

I don't know, Lessingham, but perhaps you could give it a go and see if you can turn a profit....:D

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Good Plan. I could strip down to my undies, race into the bingo hall and yell. "Okay ladies, give me a fiver, or the trollies come off!"

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Wait for Playboy Cruise or Penthouse cruise. It is great idea since I think in international waters prostitution is legal. Problem is if the cruise advertised it openly how can you go on that cruise , what will you tell your wife? But idea has started to tick and some one will have a good idea.

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Girls that get seasick would prolly say 'no'. Ditto punters - I mean if you get seasick, punting would be the last thing on your mind.

Uncle Pokey

Indeed. To be stuck on a ship however luxurious it was for more than a day isnt my idea of fun. I prefer dry land.

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stuck on a ship however luxurious it was for more than a day isnt my idea of fun

Agreed: to steal a line from Dave Johns 'go on a floating Billy Butlins darling, I'd rather go in the garden and bash my cock flat with a brick'

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I seem to remember that in the 70s there were cruises that went offshore, showed blue movies and had gambling. I think there were working girls too. A sort of Rado Caroline for Punters.

But most of the 70s remain a memory wasteland to me alas. I tried to burn out the memories of me in Oxford bags and fairisle jumpers!!!!

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