dick78

Punter snuffs it - what do you do.

56 posts in this topic

Amused by the weirdest wg thread and reminded of a conversation I had a couple of years ago with a lovely lady who humoured me quite a bit.

I have high blood pressure (although controlled) and a family history of sudden, fatal heart attacks. Were the worst to happen and, in the middle of a great session, I keeled over and died, what would you do?

I'm dead so it doesn't matter but would you try and keep it quiet and put me in a wheelbarrow and leave me down the road somewhere? A ground floor flat would be easy but up in the attic of a mansion block could be troublesome? Would you call the ambulance and the police and try to come up with a good story to protect the innocent from hearing the bad, in two ways, news? Would my estate get a refund if it was only part way through the booking?

It must have happened more than once and I would love to hear your tales. Incidentally, before you ask, I am in a glass half empty kind of mood today.

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I would, very simply, call an ambulance and say quietly to the crew 'He's not meant to be here'.

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Amused by the weirdest wg thread and reminded of a conversation I had a couple of years ago with a lovely lady who humoured me quite a bit.

I have high blood pressure (although controlled) and a family history of sudden, fatal heart attacks. Were the worst to happen and, in the middle of a great session, I keeled over and died, what would you do?

I'm dead so it doesn't matter but would you try and keep it quiet and put me in a wheelbarrow and leave me down the road somewhere? A ground floor flat would be easy but up in the attic of a mansion block could be troublesome? Would you call the ambulance and the police and try to come up with a good story to protect the innocent from hearing the bad, in two ways, news? Would my estate get a refund if it was only part way through the booking?

It must have happened more than once and I would love to hear your tales. Incidentally, before you ask, I am in a glass half empty kind of mood today.

I have been at a Party where a punter keeled over but he was luckily ok, but i have often wondered what would happen if i did have a heart attack or die while punting. I would be interested in hearing others tales too.

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I'm dead so it doesn't matter

I'm sorry to hear that. Please accept my condolences. :eek:

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I would, very simply, call an ambulance and say quietly to the crew 'He's not meant to be here'.

Thats more or less what was said to me previously but surely it can't be that simple, not these days. Mind you, I suppose if you manage to get some clothes on the corpse it could be a found in the street incident:)

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This one was a Welsh politician:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/2983610.stm

I wouldn't recommend that anybody tries to move the dead body especially in a wheelbarrow. The Police, and possibly a Coroner if he's involved, are going to frown upon that. If somebody sees you wheeling a dead body around in a wheelbarrow then you're going to be down the station for a long time.

Claire's idea seems better.

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I'm sorry to hear that. Please accept my condolences. :eek:

I am hypothetically dead in my fictional (I hope) scenario so no need to worry - but thanks for the thought:)

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I have been at a Party where a punter keeled over but he was luckily ok, but i have often wondered what would happen if i did have a heart attack or die while punting. I would be interested in hearing others tales too.

Surely if it has already happened they are not here to tell the story.:eek:

I suppose it's not nice for the kin when they get the bad news.

When I hear about this kind of thing I always remember the Richard Pryor stand-up about the guy who came and went at the same time.:D

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This one was a Welsh politician:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/2983610.stm

I wouldn't recommend that anybody tries to move the dead body especially in a wheelbarrow. The Police, and possibly a Coroner if he's involved, are going to frown upon that. If somebody sees you wheeling a dead body around in a wheelbarrow then you're going to be down the station for a long time.

Claire's idea seems better.

Nice article with only the slightest reference to the fact that he was playing away and was, in fact, a jolly good chap.

Now, sorry to state the bleeding obvious, but you do try and cover the dead body up so it doesn't look like a dead body - I am supposing a greater level of common sense than that.:eek:

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Thats more or less what was said to me previously but surely it can't be that simple, not these days. Mind you, I suppose if you manage to get some clothes on the corpse it could be a found in the street incident:)

Sometimes honesty is not the best policy but in this case it is that simple...tell the truth.

Why the hell would anybody want to pervert the course of justice by dressing a corpse and moving it in a wheelbarrow to the street. There's a good chance of a suspended prison sentence for that.....and that's after you've spent hours convincing the Police that you weren't involved in a suspicious death.

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Sometimes honesty is not the best policy but in this case it is that simple...tell the truth.

Why the hell would anybody want to pervert the course of justice by dressing a corpse and moving it in a wheelbarrow to the street. There's a good chance of a suspended prison sentence for that.....and that's after you've spent hours convincing the Police that you weren't involved in a suspicious death.

I think you took my comments too seriously here...........:eek:

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Whatever you do, don't rinse his credit card. :eek:

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Amused by the weirdest wg thread and reminded of a conversation I had a couple of years ago with a lovely lady who humoured me quite a bit.

I have high blood pressure (although controlled) and a family history of sudden, fatal heart attacks. Were the worst to happen and, in the middle of a great session, I keeled over and died, what would you do?

I'm dead so it doesn't matter but would you try and keep it quiet and put me in a wheelbarrow and leave me down the road somewhere? A ground floor flat would be easy but up in the attic of a mansion block could be troublesome? Would you call the ambulance and the police and try to come up with a good story to protect the innocent from hearing the bad, in two ways, news? Would my estate get a refund if it was only part way through the booking?

It must have happened more than once and I would love to hear your tales. Incidentally, before you ask, I am in a glass half empty kind of mood today.

If I were you I'd ask LotM - it's bound to have happened to her at some point! :eek:

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I think you took my comments too seriously here...........:D

Not necessarily :eek:. I sometimes wonder what I would do if I caught and killed a burglar. The answer involves a wheely bin, my dad's estate car, my parent's boat, the Bristol channel and some breeze-blocks and chains.

Calling the Police would not be an option.

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Not necessarily :eek:. I sometimes wonder what I would do if I caught and killed a burglar. The answer involves a wheely bin, my dad's estate car, my parent's boat, the Bristol channel and some breeze-blocks and chains.

Calling the Police would not be an option.

FYI breeze-blocks would not meet the specification for this job. You would be better off with engineering bricks or the tiles that come out of storage heaters.:D

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FYI breeze-blocks would not meet the specification for this job. You would be better off with engineering bricks or the tiles that come out of storage heaters.:D

Thanks for that :eek:

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When I hear about this kind of thing I always remember the Richard Pryor stand-up about the guy who came and went at the same time.:eek:

In that same routine he also made the point that 'Didn't no man wanna go with that woman again'.

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I would put you in bed cover you up as thought you are asleep, and then leave ya, wouldn't give you a refund though........:eek:

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I do know of an incident which happened at a parlour I started working for. He did not die, but had a heart attack. They managed to clothe him and bring him out onto the pavement and then called the ambulance so it looked like he had collapsed on the pavement.

If it happened to me, (afraid of even typing it!) I would call 999 and I probably would do the same as Claire said, say that he is not meant to be here. Possibility is that they are going to want to ask more questions so I would probably confess that I am an escort (I could never lie :eek:) and say please don't tell his wife.

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Since I was in St John Ambulance for years, I would try my best to revive the guy with CPR, call an ambulance and ask them to be discreet.

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A former manager of the Grosvenor Hotel on Park Lane writes:

'Once, responding to a call from a hysterical lady of the night, I discovered that the married man she was with had just died on the job. A month later I had a conversation with the dead man's daughter. "He didn't have a woman with him, did he?" she asked. "Of course not," I said.'

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article7043779.ece

Five star discretion.....

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I agree with Laura: CPR and calling an ambulance, possibly a more experienced neighbour. I used to be one of those red cross volunteers, so I hope I can keep you alive until the ambulance gets there. I don't think they would have illusions about what has happened. :eek:

If ever asked what you were doing at my place, I don't know what I would say. It depends on the person I suppose. Personal trainer, business consultant and therapist spring to mind.

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Does wiping the smirky smile off his face count as disturbing the body?

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Since I was in St John Ambulance for years, I would try my best to revive the guy with CPR, call an ambulance and ask them to be discreet.

Having just read the "sensible or risk taker" thread, maybe you should start advertising this fact on your site :eek:

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