Cloud Cuckoo land

I

17 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

Just over 1 year ago, I wrote about losing my virginity with an escort. (http://www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15670)

I'd like to add before I continue, that I received some very helpful and sincere comments after the post. I guess that's why I'd like to return the favour by recounting my experiences which hopefully may help some of you. Or at least give you peace of mind that another can empathise with your situation.

I was in my late 20s and had never had any experience with women. I'd never had a girlfriend and I wanted to see what the touch of a woman would be like.

I've often thought I have strong moral fortitude which prevented me from paying for sex for quite a time. I was worried that I would feel guilty after the act and feel uncomfortable with myself.

Happily for me, I didn't have those feelings after I saw the escort. I saw two more in quick succession after the first and even recounted some of my problems with you in my initial post.

I then left the world of escorting and tried to go about actually forming a relationship with a woman.

I didn't regret my decision to pay for sex, and I still don't. I didn't become addicted to escorting. I just used those 3 experiences to find out what most adults can take for granted. I continued to lead a normal, full, sociable life.

One year and 2 months on, I still haven't managed to get a girlfriend. (I still don't know why; I consider myself to be no less interesting, attractive or fun to be with than many other men in successful relationships).

So today, I saw another working girl. Of course I know that this is a less than ideal position to be with. But I'm in my late 20s and I have needs!

I don't plan for this to become a regular occurrence. I suppose that now I know that I won't let it adversely affect my life, I can indulge just a little to satiate my desires.

In fact an indication that I'm looking for a girlfriend and not just sex is a comment that the escort said to me today: "Wow, you like to kiss a lot don't you?!". It was said positively, as she did too! I think I was almost more interested in kissing than the sex…

For all those virgins who wonder whether their life will alter as a result of seeing a working girl, feel free to use me a sample of…well, one!

Good luck,

Cloud Cuckoo Land

P.S For those of you who are interested, my original problems have persisted!

P.P.S The working girl I saw today was from HoD and I had a really great time. She was very beautiful and had an amazing body. A body that you can just dream about. I think I was very lucky to meet someone who was so friendly and fun. But…

I still didn't come. Of all the great advice I received last time, I put into practice none of it. This time I think I just might…!

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts - I think your attitude is very good. Others might perhaps have suggested professional help of a different nature but I think for yourself you have done the right thing.

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Have you ever considered talking a holiday over to Thailand or the Philippines?

Might be very interesting for you. You sound like your an average late 20 something bloke. Possibly you can't get a girlfriend because you have been unlucky, or aren't as confident as other guys, or lack charisma or social skills. None of which are anything to be ashamed of.

If you go over there you'll have girls hunting you down wanting to be your girlfriend... of course, you have to be very careful and be aware it is a fantasy... but would be fun.

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Well done sweetheart heres to amny more years of punting ;)

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From my own expereince I can tell you that if by your age you have struggled to get girls - you always will - you lack the confidence and bold faced cheek that is necessary to score - as I did.

So what to do? You can't spend your life paying for sex - it's no way to live.

You could get out to Ukraine via one of the marriage type agencies - you would find someone certainly, depending on how choosy you are.

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From my own expereince I can tell you that if by your age you have struggled to get girls - you always will - you lack the confidence and bold faced cheek that is necessary to score - as I did.

So what to do? You can't spend your life paying for sex - it's no way to live.

You could get out to Ukraine via one of the marriage type agencies - you would find someone certainly, depending on how choosy you are.

Lancelot, I can't say I agree. People change as they get older & without knowing all the reasons Cloud Cuckoo can't get a girlfriend, it's a bit sweeping to say he never will. Maybe (and I say maybe as I clearly know no more than you about CCs situation) it's down to where you socialise, or the hobbies you have. Relationships tend to blossom on common ground like a shared interest, or spending lots of time with somebody talking about nothing in particular. Many relationships start in the workplace, do they not?

CC isn't looking for marriage, let alone to a Ukranian... lol, bizarre advice. I'd have suggested dabbling with some online dating if it's social skills that stand in the way, but a Ukranian Marriage Bureau?

CC, get out more, speak more & don't look for it. It will come to you when the time is right. IF it's your social skills which let you down, read & research & practise. IF it's your looks (no disrespect as I don't know you), aim lower. There's someone for everyone. Either way, good luck & enjoy the ocassional escort to fulfil your needs until you find who you seek.

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From my own expereince I can tell you that if by your age you have struggled to get girls - you always will - you lack the confidence and bold faced cheek that is necessary to score - as I did.

So what to do? You can't spend your life paying for sex - it's no way to live.

You could get out to Ukraine via one of the marriage type agencies - you would find someone certainly, depending on how choosy you are.

This isn't the best advice. Maybe a dating site in England and meet a few women that way. What you're suggesting is marrying someone who's motivation for marrying you will be your wallet and the fact you may offer a better life.

Eastern European women aren't stupid and know how to play the system. She'll hold on for 3 years, get her passport and then want a divorce. Well, kiss goodbye to half your house and money.

I'd rather punt all my life than that.

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You could get out to Ukraine via one of the marriage type agencies - you would find someone certainly, depending on how choosy you are.

:rolleyes: This is terrible advice.

The standard advice is the best - hobbies, shared interests, exercise, work on your social skills, dress nicer, relax. It would be nice if there was 'someone for everyone' - unfortunately I doubt it's true. But you have to just play the hand you've been dealt as best you can.

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From my own expereince I can tell you that if by your age you have struggled to get girls - you always will - you lack the confidence and bold faced cheek that is necessary to score - as I did.

So what to do? You can't spend your life paying for sex - it's no way to live.

You could get out to Ukraine via one of the marriage type agencies - you would find someone certainly, depending on how choosy you are.

I disagree completely - being good with girls is a learnable skill. Confidence is what you develop through practicing that skill.

Yes, some people have more natural ability than others, but you can learn 'game' to a very good standard even if you start out as an utter geek. It just takes persistence and determination.

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Single, childless women in their very late thirties might be a starting point.

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Single, childless women in their very late thirties might be a starting point.

Are you for real? IMHO, that's terrible advice. ;)

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Are you for real? IMHO, that's terrible advice. :D

Agreed. Single childless women in their late 30's are, in my experience, lesbians, mingers or women looking for a sperm donor for the baby they crave for.

They come across as more relaxed but are well versed in the art of manipulation and getting you to do what THEY want.

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Great post Cloud. I started 8 years ago at age of 24. I had real problems with social skills and it was four times worse with girls than other blokes. I was extremely quiet and introverted.

I thought to myself I should just go see a WG to get the thoughts about being a virgin and the pressure on yourself to lose it. And it was a huge relief too.

8 years on and I get on really well with most people and just as well with women as men (if not better). Athough I don't think it is the sole reason for me coming out of my shell but it is the biggest or joint biggest reason.

I still have never had a girlfriend. The problem I have now is not confidence in normal friendly situations but where it involves pulling/flirting. My brian always kicks in to say "shes just being friendly" or I completely miss the signs. The problem I think is convicing myself that she might be interested and I should give it ago.

I think the best solutin would be internet/speed dating. Reason: because you are already on a date!!! You're both there to see if you can continue having a relationship.

Good luck Cloud.

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Agreed. Single childless women in their late 30's are, in my experience, lesbians, mingers or women looking for a sperm donor for the baby they crave for.

They come across as more relaxed but are well versed in the art of manipulation and getting you to do what THEY want.

I've got a very good friend who is a single childless woman in her very early 30s. She says that she's "waiting for the second course" now, i.e. the divorced blokes in their early 30s, because she missed out first time round. Strange really, as I certainly think she is hot (and she's certainly been looking !). So there are still some real catches out there.

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CCL, some advice on everyday women, if of any help:

1. No woman is ever out of your league

2. Women find confidence attractive - stand straight, comfortably, and talk with a positive manner. Don't be cocky, though.

3. Listen - women are driven by the practise of listening. Avoid the urge to solve problems, just listen, and throw in a few agreeing sentences and anecdotes

4. Always talk to a woman's eyes, not her cleavage! If you want to look, learn to do it out of the corner of your eye - as women do when they're crotch-watching!

5. Never be negative or derogatory, unless invited to

Um, gotta go, c if that helps!

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Also:

6. Don't talk at women - ask them about themselves, what they are interested in, and find a way to talk about these things

7. Try and make her laugh - don't do stand up jokes, just try and find ways to add funny anecdotes or make a gentle joke from what you're talking about

8. Compliment them on their dress or hair - nice safe topics. Women usually like gentle flattery, but don't over do it - and be sincere! TIP: Complimenting a woman on what they are wearing (boots, shoes, dress, coat, etc) is a good way to start a conversation and test to see how receptive they are to new company - if you get a short disinterested answer, move on. If she extends the conversation, good sign. :rolleyes:

9. Don't linger too much - you don't want to be seen as a "hanger on". If it feels like you should leave or take a break from the company, do so - it shows you are independent, which is a strength.

10.

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10. Just because you get on with a woman, does not mean she wants to sleep with you! Good friendly female company is better than none, and a woman who is platonically friendly with you can introduce you to other women, some of which will be unattached - so don't push yourself just because you can! Be patient!

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