Dollymopp

Too upset to punt or escort?

50 posts in this topic

I have to put No1 cat to sleep in mid May, and I know that I am not going to be able to see anyone, or do anything at that time.

Oh I know...it's only a cat, they say, but he's been my baby for 19yrs, I have pics of him at 6wks, he's my child? I love that wee animal with all my heart.

He's so ill, he has a few weeks left now, and the vet agrees with me to let him go the euthansia way. I just won't be able for any Dollymopping though.

I adore cats, and have a No2 cat who's ill too, but she's got a year or so left. I will be a complete mess when it's her turn.

I will rescue more kittens and give them homes, even though I know this feeling will return again.

Question was...have you continued when you are really upset? I imagine it could be a good thing, take your mind off things...or could it turn into a teary convo? I don't want to do that, I will be unavailable for a week or so.

Think this might be in wrong sec! Feel free to move me. :)

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I have to put No1 cat to sleep in mid May, and I know that I am not going to be able to see anyone, or do anything at that time.

Oh I know...it's only a cat, they say, but he's been my baby for 19yrs, I have pics of him at 6wks, he's my child? I love that wee animal with all my heart.

He's so ill, he has a few weeks left now, and the vet agrees with me to let him go the euthansia way. I just won't be able for any Dollymopping though.

I adore cats, and have a No2 cat who's ill too, but she's got a year or so left. I will be a complete mess when it's her turn.

I will rescue more kittens and give them homes, even though I know this feeling will return again.

Question was...have you continued when you are really upset? I imagine it could be a good thing, take your mind off things...or could it turn into a teary convo? I don't want to do that, I will be unavailable for a week or so.

Think this might be in wrong sec! Feel free to move me. :)

Absolutely no way. If I'm emotionally upset, there is no way on this earth I can go through with a meeting. And if I had to put my 19yr old cat to sleep, it would be no less than gut wrenching and put me in emotional turmoil for a long long time.

Just a couple of days ago I had to put a friend's terminally ill cat to sleep (well, I held him while he died - didn't personally inject him). He wasn't even mine and I sobbed my eyes out and was deeply upset for 2 days thereafter.

But to continue a meeting when I was deeply uset - couldn't do it. I tried once and broke out in tears mid shag. Then had to explain it really wasn't his fault (by then the floodgates had opened - thank goodness he knew me or else he'd have thought I was a fruit loop). A little funny in hindsight :) . But seriously not a good idea and not to be repeated.

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It's always difficult deciding when to have a much loved pet put down. If you do it too early you feel guilty for depriving them of life and if you leave it too late then you feel guilty for prolonging their suffering. You cannot win.

If it's any consolation, and this is my experience, you won't feel as bad as you're expecting too. You know it's coming. it won't surprise you and you know it's the right thing to do. The only advice I can give is that you hold the cat whilst it is being put down, and preferably have the vet come to your home - both things make it far less stressful for the animal.

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Leaving aside the question of pets, and taking your question in general terms, Lenny Bruce thought this was the essential distinction between male and female sexuality, and why the two sexes could never understand each other.

In one of his routines he imagines a road accident, blood, corpses, everywhere, one of the drivers is put in an ambulance bleeding, and on his way to the hospital is perfectly capable of shoving his hand up the nurse's skirt.

I think there's something in that.

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I'm sorry to hear about your situation Dolly, it's not 'just a cat', it's a loved member of your family and a very sad time. Many years ago I had to have 'just a rat' put down, but her loss left a huge hole in my life at the time and I still often think about her even now.

In terms of your question, it's a different one for punters and SPs. As a punter, setting up a date can cheer me up when I'm feeling low. For a SP, though, it's her livelihood, and that has to be a factor for consideration. At the end of the day though it is just a job, not your life, and I think you'll be quite right to take some time off around then. You won't enjoy your work if you're doing it with a heavy heart and, however professional you are, you'll struggle to give of your best. So take some time out to recharge your batteries, and concentrate on looking forward to your trip Stateside.

Take care hun. x

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Sorry to hear this Dollymopp. I had a cat made it to 19 and 2 dogs who made it to 17 and 17.5 and it is very upsetting to say goodbye even if in the cases of all my animals it was a matter of only hours from needing the vet to saying goodbye. I think I am glad it was quick for me as well as them. I haven't as yet finally decided on whether I would have another. maybe one day.

In answer to the thread no when upset I like to get out there on my own and let nature sooth me. I walk by water or in a wood or sit on a hill and let the wind carry away my mood.

Then when I am feeling restored I seek some wonderful reaffirming company.

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hugs to you I know what i was like when I had to have a dog put down it really knocked me for 6 as he was as you say my baby I still miss him but you do need time to grieve

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Sympathy, of course.

A few of my friends have been similarly bereft in recent years. Talking about it with a couple of friends a few weeks ago, one said something like "Got him purely because son went on and on. I set out rules.... its daft treating dogs as humans. The rules were.... But... somehow... somewhere along the line he became a member of the family. He made every walk a joy"

Significant... that the guy concerned, who is extremely emotionally tough, has not been able to face taking on another dog. No its not easy.

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Oh Dolly, I'm so sorry to hear this, he is such a wonderful companion, and I am one of the lucky fortunate to have met him.

Take the time to greive for him and yourself.

Nobody can work while they have a heavy heart, and it would be upsetting for you, I know your gents love you for the treasure you are and all of them know how human you are I am sure they will understand.

I will say a little prayer to lady bast who guides all cats home for him.

Much loves

Tamz

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Very sorry to hear that Dolly, I know how much you love your mogs.

Take time out and have a good howl, you need to grieve. :)

(((((((((( Dolly ))))))))))

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Dolly, very sorry to hear about this, but you really are doing the right thing. Our family cat had to be put to sleep at 19 as well - it turned out that he only had a cyst; the family thought the lump was something more sinister...so didn't take him to the vets as they were certain, given his age, it would be a one-way trip. Couldn't bear to let him go. Let the problem get worse as they were in denial.

On one of my flying visits home, I smelled him before I could see him. The cyst had become infected; by then, too late to do anything but clean it out and take to the vet. Quite avoidable the whole business if he had been seen to sooner. Also, quite understandable - it really is the end of an era, and natural instinct is to try and hold on to them as long as possible. You really have done everything you can, and put your cat and his feelings first.

Punting when upset - been there, done that, and a very very bad idea. I had a very bad death anniversary this year, and fortunately I was with people I knew or had met before - no new people unless I was feeling particularly good at compartmentalising that day. Difficult to plan new punting clients - you really don't know how you feel on the day.

Last year, after some bad family news, a punt that had been planned for months. Travel on his part to London involved, a lot of excuses he had to make for the time he'd have spent seeing me, then a bit of a bombshell my end. Sat there on the day, waiting to meet him, going, "Come on, come on, don't be a tw*t, you can't let him down". Met him, but realised I was probably going to go to pieces, so I went, very sorry, and insisted on covering his train expenses. Really had to insist, he was very kind.

Best to find a quiet corner and stay in bed for a bit, otherwise the feelings just scab over, and don't get a chance to mend.

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Plus, 19 years of being looked after, cuddled, fed and getting to snooze with Dolly.

Inappropriate this comment yes, but my thoughts - jammy bastard!

My thoughts are with you - too many people don't take the death of pets seriously, it really isn't just a girly thing.

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My heart goes out to you Dollymop. A few weeks ago I had to say Goodbye to my old cat who had been with me since she was born and had reached the grand old age of 18 years. She had become very ill very quickly and I could not see her suffer. Holding her whilst she breathed her last breath was a very painful experience.

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Dolly, what can I say? There's something special about the pet /person relationship. Smile about the good times. There's no shame in grief.

My rabbit died last year, I broke down and sobbed at my desk when I got the news. Bastards at work still take the piss! I'm almost ashamed to say I miss him more than some family members.

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Dolly have tried to call you a few times the last week or so and wondered how you are? I know you love your cats and how much you have payed in vet bills and the care you have given them also a animal lover and have lost dogs in the past had to take my 12year old shar-pei the last of 3male dogs from 1 litter to be put to sleep the vet told me he wanted to go so sorry but think maybe in a better place as for work maybe a good thing to have company just see maybe people you know untill you feel more like happy Dolly call me here anytime for a chat Annaxxx

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I have not had to deal with the loss of a pet ( yet ) while doing this job,

I have found that seeing clients can go a long way in taking my mind off

problems or traumas in my private life. This is nothing to do with the money

but I simply find it works for me, during appointments my concentration is

focused on the client and not whatever is bothering or worrying me outside of work.

It is a kind of therapy. I have had several deaths in my family in recent years

and although some may find this strange, I have bounced back into work just a few short days after funerals.

Whatever the reason for the upset or stress, excluding personal illness of course, I have found that moping at home or dwelling at length on my woes, does no good at all and only deepens depression.

This does not work for us all and I can quite understand why ladies feel they need to take time out from seeing clients.

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Oh Dolly, I'm so sorry to hear this, he is such a wonderful companion, and I am one of the lucky fortunate to have met him.

He's a gorgeous creature and even in his dotage is magnificent. He'll be sorely missed. :D

B

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All my sympathy,

and Good Luck for the coming weeks Doll.

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I'm sorry to hear about your cat Dolly. Its always upsetting when you lose a pet, whatever the circumstances and as he's been with you so long I imagine you'll feel the loss even more.

On a more positive note, at least you know that he's had a good life with you and you'll always have the memories of the happy times you had together.

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Oh thats so sad Dolly. I didn't work for 2 weeks after I had to put my doggy Tara to sleep. She was an old lady when I adopted her and I didn't know how much time I would have with her. I had had for 4 lovely years and it absolutely broke my heart when I had to let her go. Take your time and don't work until you feel like being Dolly again. Only you will know when the time is right x

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Thanks for your very kind responses everyone. :(

The vet is coming to my house to do the deed, then I will pick up his little urn later. I don't want his last memory to be that travel cage and a surgical room with strangers.

I'm feeding him his favourite foods, salmon and chicken now, not the medicinal foods, and stopped forcing pills down his throat, he hates it.

I know this is weird/daft/morbid, but I found this place in Essex that makes crystal jewellrey out of cremated ashes. It's called 'Ashes into Glass'. As he's black and white, I'm having a silver ring with a black crystal, which he will be part of. And then his name will be engraved inside the ring too.

You all made me cry reading those posts! :rolleyes:

xxx D

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Thanks for your very kind responses everyone. :(

The vet is coming to my house to do the deed, then I will pick up his little urn later. I don't want his last memory to be that travel cage and a surgical room with strangers.

I'm feeding him his favourite foods, salmon and chicken now, not the medicinal foods, and stopped forcing pills down his throat, he hates it.

I know this is weird/daft/morbid, but I found this place in Essex that makes crystal jewellrey out of cremated ashes. It's called 'Ashes into Glass'. As he's black and white, I'm having a silver ring with a black crystal, which he will be part of. And then his name will be engraved inside the ring too.

You all made me cry reading those posts! :rolleyes:

xxx D

I've heard of Ashes Into Glass. I don't think that's at all morbid Dolly, I think it's a nice idea. Enjoy your remaining time together hun. xx

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Dolly,

He isn't "just a cat", he is a living being, and you'd be stone (which you most surely are not) if his end did not hurt.

To be sent on in peace, at home, has to be the best way - going to the vet's surgery for the deed makes it worse for both of you.

We've spoken about this - be comforted, and meanwhile enjoy the time you both have left.

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Dolly im very sorry about this awful situation. I dont keep pets any longer but i grew up pets, dogs, chickens, a goat, a horse, a wild rabbit, hamsters and cats , i had lots over the years and its the worst feeling in the world when the pass away as they are part of the family, not just a pet.

I also have heard of Ashes into glass and i think its a wondeful idea, its a way of ensureing he is always with you.

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Oh Dolly, bless you.

I've had times when I've simply not been in the right frame of mind for escorting and as such have made myself unavailable. I'd much much rather make sure that my client and I both have a good time as I know that if I'm not on top form it just won't be the same!! If I lose a couple of bookings in the process, well, so be it - at least I know that the gentlemen I do see get me at my best! My pride in my 'work' is too strong for me to compromise it and I am very sure that you are the same.

Huge huge sympathies - having lost pets over the years I can sympathise enormously. They really are your babies.

xxx

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