niceguyjames

Punting disasters....

22 posts in this topic

anyone have any could be a guy or a girl ??

could be your fault or theres , or totally out of your control

no names please just funny stories

xxx

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The other day went to see this girl,

http://www.citybutterflies.com/escorts/busty-escorts/ivanka_2466

i mean from the photos or w/e she looks super hot. She was very nice dont get me wrong and decent at her job but those photos are insanely inaccurate she looked like a male body builder, i was honestly a little scared it was a dude... still am wish there was a test i could take to work out if id slept with a dude ;)

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I punted a lady, only for the condom to come off inside her within 10 minutes. I only noticed when I went to go for anal and it wasn't on. It cut the booking short. She couldn't get it out, so she said "I'll go home and get my husband to get it out." ;) She gave me my money back.

I punted the same lady the year after to celebrate my birthday, booked a night in a hotel, got chinese food, her husband dropped her off at the room door. She was supposed to stay overnight. During the evening we ventured out to the balcony and I noticed her husband in the pub across from the hotel (the pub was part of the hotel design). I didn't mention it. We ate, drank and had some fun in the room then later she walked out to the balcony. About 3 minutes later she gets a phone call, husband claims that one of her kids is sick and needs her so she has to leave. She insisted that she had all the money but as we were only 3 hours in I only gave her half.

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I punted the same lady the year after to celebrate my birthday, booked a night in a hotel, got chinese food, her husband dropped her off at the room door. She was supposed to stay overnight. During the evening we ventured out to the balcony and I noticed her husband in the pub across from the hotel (the pub was part of the hotel design). I didn't mention it. We ate, drank and had some fun in the room then later she walked out to the balcony. About 3 minutes later she gets a phone call, husband claims that one of her kids is sick and needs her so she has to leave. She insisted that she had all the money but as we were only 3 hours in I only gave her half.

WOW! You must have some eyesight!

First: seeing a husband while he is in the car from the hotel window, then recognise him in a pub across from the hotel balcony! Astonishing! ;)

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WOW! You must have some eyesight!

First: seeing a husband while he is in the car from the hotel window, then recognise him in a pub across from the hotel balcony! Astonishing! ;)

Yes astonishing that you highlight the part when he dropped her off at the hotel room door but seem to think Chuk saw him in the car from the hotel window. Been on the Vodka have we? :)

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Yes astonishing that you highlight the part when he dropped her off at the hotel room door but seem to think Chuk saw him in the car from the hotel window. Been on the Vodka have we? ;)

BTW: I am stone cold sober, but going to have a drink in two hours time.

If her husband walked her to the room of the hotel, I doubt that Chuck would use the phrase "dropped her off". (unless he carried her on his back, lol).

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WOW! You must have some eyesight!

First: seeing a husband while he is in the car from the hotel window, then recognise him in a pub across from the hotel balcony! Astonishing! ;)

No he wasn't in a car. I was staying at a hotel in MK. Not sure if it was the Windmill, anyway When I opened the door of my hotel room, she say goodbye to someone and as I looked down the corridor I caught a glimpse of a man walking off in a ghastly bright yellow and pink shirt. When I walked out onto the balcony I could see the same shirt being worn in the pub across the grounds. After she received the call, I put all 3 together :)

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Worst thing that ever happened to me a few years ago....

.... after the dirty deed was done, I went to the bathroom to clean up, took my money and left.

About a week or so later I had a god awful burning sensation below, accompanied by a rather unpleasant whiff.

Naturally I rushed straight to the clinic to get checked out and what did the Doc find?

The guys condom had actually come off inside of me and I hadn't noticed (I guess I assumed (wrongly) that he had removed it as soon as he got out of me) and, despite my having daily showers etc, it had still been in there!!!

Thankfully though - that was the only problem I have ever had down below....!!!

Ever since then though I have been paranoid and insist that I remove the condoms myself!

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Punting disasters... Some spring to mind! (including broken condoms, broken beds...) But the one I remember most is spending a very lovely hour with a perfectly charming and attentive guy, leaving on a bit of a buzz then leaving my coat there! Not just any coat belive me it was a one-of-a-kind 60's vintage leather and mink beauty.

I called as soon as I realized hoping to go back to collect it but he explained he 'had to have it destroyed' in case his wife found it.

Didn't think he was so charming after that. God I miss that coat.

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Blimey Susan G !!

What a tale and how yukkie for you !! ......a tad embarrassing at the clinic too I imagine.

Mind you what a b'stard your client was...not saying a bloomin word .....not exactly something you don't notice as you withdraw is it.

I always find it a really caring and tender moment at the end of "the service" if the lady actually removes the condom and then cleans you up nicely. ( many don't and just leave you to get on with it) happened to me last week and it quite made a delicious punt.

Well alright .........along with a few other bits and bobs!!;)

Mind you ................I am now imagining that she was just checking all was in order!!

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I once saw a girl late one evening and after I'd left I suddenly realised I'd left my specs in her flat. I knocked on the door but she wouldn't answer and she'd turned her mobile off too.

How could I drive home?....fortunately when rummaging around in the glovebox of the car I found an old pair of specs, not quite to the latest prescription but good enough to drive home in.

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Blimey Susan G !!

What a tale and how yukkie for you !! ......a tad embarrassing at the clinic too I imagine.

Mind you what a b'stard your client was...not saying a bloomin word .....not exactly something you don't notice as you withdraw is it.

I always find it a really caring and tender moment at the end of "the service" if the lady actually removes the condom and then cleans you up nicely. ( many don't and just leave you to get on with it) happened to me last week and it quite made a delicious punt.

Well alright .........along with a few other bits and bobs!!;)

Mind you ................I am now imagining that she was just checking all was in order!!

Thanks Badger...

But yes, I agree with you that it is far more personal and considerate that the lady should assist in the 'clean-up' process. This is something that I DO usually do - one reason is that I would hate to think that there was anything left behind that could 'come off' in his pants (for example - like a stray hair or even the scent of my womanliness, lol).

Although many of my visitors like to shower afterwards, some don't have the time - so a warm soapy flannel or even extra soft Shea Butter baby wipes are just perfect!

Once cleaned up though, I do like to tease with a little kiss or nibble before they finally pull up their pants, lol...

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I once saw a girl late one evening and after I'd left I suddenly realised I'd left my specs in her flat. I knocked on the door but she wouldn't answer and she'd turned her mobile off too.

How could I drive home?....fortunately when rummaging around in the glovebox of the car I found an old pair of specs, not quite to the latest prescription but good enough to drive home in.

This reminds me of one of my very regular visitors - about a year ago we had been out for dinner followed by a little bit of 'exercise' and after about 4 hours he left to drive home. Now - I always switch my phone off after 10pm and unfortunately he was trying to call me once he arrived at his house to say that he had left his house keys at mine. His wife was away and he had no way of getting a spare key and had to spend the night sleeping in his car....

Now whenever he visits, I make sure he checks his spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch - PLUS the house keys, lol ;)

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Was with a girl in Guildford. We were going at it fairly hard when she pissed all over the place including me! She was extremely embarassed but I just made a joke of it and said some people would pay extra for that. We cleaned up and continued.

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No he wasn't in a car. I was staying at a hotel in MK. Not sure if it was the Windmill, anyway When I opened the door of my hotel room, she say goodbye to someone and as I looked down the corridor I caught a glimpse of a man walking off in a ghastly bright yellow and pink shirt. When I walked out onto the balcony I could see the same shirt being worn in the pub across the grounds. After she received the call, I put all 3 together :)

So why did you said that "he dropped her off"? :D

Maybe you should re-read the emails you sent to WGs (your recent thread) and just maybe you can find the reson why she does not respond to you. :D

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A few years back we were about to enjoy a shared bath, I managed to get in successfully but unfortunately the lady in question slipped and managed to land on a rather 'delicate' part of my anatomy. Thankfully she was a petite oriental but it was still a good while before things returned to normal!

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Ive posted it on another thread, but this place may be more appropriate.

It is the funniest thing I have heard.

http://www.punternet.com/frs/fr_view.php?recnum=94818

OMG. How I wish I hadn't followed the FR's agency link. I actually fancied one oriental Ts before it hit me what I was looking at:eek::D:eek::D

I was thinking of booking the delicious Mei in MK. I suppose it would be churlish to demand 3 sworn affidavits from respected towers of the punting community to certify that a professional survey of the ground floor had been carried out with no sign of subsidence or underpinning;)

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last month, used the ** site to find a local WG.

The punt was averagely ok.

Got outside to find some toe rag had keyed the whole drivers side of the car. A wavy line along the whole length of the vehicle.

Obviously couldnt tell Mrs Sideburns what i had been up to so 'moved' the location of the crime to another road not far away.

had to claim on the insurance but the excess for damage was still £500!:confused::eek:

The most expensive punting hour I have ever had.

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Punting disasters... Some spring to mind! (including broken condoms, broken beds...) But the one I remember most is spending a very lovely hour with a perfectly charming and attentive guy, leaving on a bit of a buzz then leaving my coat there! Not just any coat belive me it was a one-of-a-kind 60's vintage leather and mink beauty.

I called as soon as I realized hoping to go back to collect it but he explained he 'had to have it destroyed' in case his wife found it.

Didn't think he was so charming after that. God I miss that coat.

Do coats age that well? I am not sure what a 50 year old coat looks like but I take your word that it looked great. Was it passed down through the family generations?

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anyone have any could be a guy or a girl ??

could be your fault or theres , or totally out of your control

no names please just funny stories

xxx

Mine must be when this tiny Oriental girl farted as I approached to kiss her. Not sure if the two events were related but I just could not believe that such delicate thing could produce such potent odour. The smell filled the room immediately and I was feeling kind of sick because of it. Although she apologised "sorry air come out" I just had to excuse myself and leave. Well the air my have come out of her but it left me totally deflated.

Another incident was abroad when this gorgeous upmarket girl had a shower in my hotel room and put on her sexy lingerie. As she was doing the catwalk from the bathroom towards me she let rip rather loudly. In that instance however there was no odour so I managed to keep my concentration.

It must be the effect I have on ladies.

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Mine must be when this tiny Oriental girl farted as I approached to kiss her. Not sure if the two events were related but I just could not believe that such delicate thing could produce such potent odour. The smell filled the room immediately and I was feeling kind of sick because of it. Although she apologised "sorry air come out" I just had to excuse myself and leave. Well the air my have come out of her but it left me totally deflated.

Another incident was abroad when this gorgeous upmarket girl had a shower in my hotel room and put on her sexy lingerie. As she was doing the catwalk from the bathroom towards me she let rip rather loudly. In that instance however there was no odour so I managed to keep my concentration.

It must be the effect I have on ladies.

Never go to Thailand during durian season.:confused:

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