georgem

Do comments hurt?

90 posts in this topic

Some people are more aggressive than others in their posting, There are many examples to confirm that.

Most of us are more moderate. But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments? It may be that I'm a softie, but it has happened to me recently. I submitted a post and got blasted ny Tammy. I'm not saying sher was wrong, far from it--she might well have been right. But, it was enough to stop me posting for a couple of weeks, amd, more importantly, it stopped me booking an appointment, which I was just about to do.

Do other people feel the same way, or is it just me that is ultra sensitive?

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Some people are more aggressive than others in their posting, There are many examples to confirm that.

Most of us are more moderate. But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments? It may be that I'm a softie, but it has happened to me recently. I submitted a post and got blasted ny Tammy. I'm not saying sher was wrong, far from it--she might well have been right. But, it was enough to stop me posting for a couple of weeks, amd, more importantly, it stopped me booking an appointment, which I was just about to do.

Do other people feel the same way, or is it just me that is ultra sensitive?

Sometimes I have got annoyed at some comment or other. I just stay away out of annoyance or boredom rather than hurt..............better things to do.

As for it affecting any appointments I'm considering?...........no..............I cannot understand how it would either.:D

This is a message board, not a booking forum...............I think:rolleyes:

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Sometimes I have got annoyed at some comment or other. I just stay away out of annoyance or boredom rather than hurt..............better things to do.

As for it affecting any appointments I'm considering?...........no..............I cannot understand how it would either.:D

This is a message board, not a booking forum...............I think:rolleyes:

Why?

If your not free to post what you really feel and think then that defeats the reason for the forum?

Just post! Whats the worst that can happen? (nothing physical anyway...) :D

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As for it affecting any appointments I'm considering?...........no..............I cannot understand how it would either.:D

This is a message board, not a booking forum...............I think:rolleyes:

OK--your view, bur it did stop me.

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Some people are more aggressive than others in their posting, There are many examples to confirm that.

Most of us are more moderate. But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments? It may be that I'm a softie, but it has happened to me recently. I submitted a post and got blasted ny Tammy. I'm not saying sher was wrong, far from it--she might well have been right. But, it was enough to stop me posting for a couple of weeks, amd, more importantly, it stopped me booking an appointment, which I was just about to do.

Do other people feel the same way, or is it just me that is ultra sensitive?

George, how could you say that? I just know you're talking about me (sob), I'm turning the gas on in the oven even as I write! :D

No, I think you need a robust sense of humour, a fairly thick skin and the ability to roll with the punches to post regularly on here - and maybe to re-read your draft post a couple of times before hitting 'submit' and think how each 'constutency' on here (punters, independents, agencies, masseuses, Mods, hawks, doves, fluffies) might react to it.

As far as I can remember I've only ever been really been slagged by two people whose opinion particularly matters to me - but those were on very early posts of mine and we actually get on quite well these days. There are a couple of posters who've got a particular down on me but, erm, let's just say that I don't value their opinions one iota, so tough titty. There was one lady I had a few furious rows with in the early days, but I don't hold any grudge against her and we haven't mmuch come into contact lately.

Generally I don't have a down on anyone and, in the best football manager tradition, I take each post as it comes. I might tell someone what a brilliant post I think they've just done, the next time I might slag them to the sky, and I might just take the piss out of their next post. I don't keep score, although I must admit there are one or two 'big beasts' I tread carefully around!

The day the perpetually sunny posters like Escortbunny69 and LouisaPSUK start telling me I'm an utter b*st*rd will be the day I'll know I'm really in trouble! :D

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Why?

If your not free to post what you really feel and think then that defeats the reason for the forum?

Just post! Whats the worst that can happen? (nothing physical anyway...) :D

I'm not saying you shouldn't be free to post what you like.

I'm just saying you should be free to bugger off and ignore the place for a while too.

...........and occasionally some comments are posted deliberately to wind up or hurt; it's human nature to do that.

I don't see the point of getting wound up by comments written by people who I've never met and never will meet.

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George, how could you say that? I just know you're talking about me (sob), I'm turning the gas on in the oven even as I write! :D

No, I think you need a robust sense of humour, a fairly thick skin and the ability to roll with the punches to post regularly on here - and maybe to re-read your draft post a couple of times before hitting 'submit' and think how each 'constutency' on here (punters, independents, agencies, masseuses, Mods, hawks, doves, fluffies) might react to it.

As far as I can remember I've only ever been really been slagged by two people whose opinion particularly matters to me - but those were on very early posts of mine and we actually get on quite well these days. There are a couple of posters who've got a particular down on me but, erm, let's just say that I don't value their opinions one iota, so tough titty. There was one lady I had a few furious rows with in the early days, but I don't hold any grudge against her and we haven't mmuch come into contact lately.

Generally I don't have a down on anyone and, in the best football manager tradition, I take each post as it comes. I might tell someone what a brilliant post I think they've just done, the next time I might slag them to the sky, and I might just take the piss out of their next post. I don't keep score, although I must admit there are one or two 'big beasts' I tread carefully around!

The day the perpetually sunny posters like Escortbunny69 and LouisaPSUK start telling me I'm an utter b*st*rd will be the day I'll know I'm really in trouble! :D

If the gas wasn't turned to high, and you are still around to read this post, can I thank you for your very reasonable comments. By the way, I.ve read this post several times before submitting it and think it is unlikely to offend anyone.

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Sometimes I have got annoyed at some comment or other. I just stay away out of annoyance or boredom rather than hurt..............better things to do.

As for it affecting any appointments I'm considering?...........no..............I cannot understand how it would either.:D

This is a message board, not a booking forum...............I think:rolleyes:

I can understand that: 'No, I'm not a dickwitted moron, and it's clear from your last post that you're a callous bitch who only wants to rip punters off...oh, and by the way, I've just PMed you for an appointment next Tuesday.' :D

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if the gas wasn't turned to high, and you are still around to read this post, can i thank you for your very reasonable comments. By the way, i.ve read this post several times before submitting it and think it is unlikely to offend anyone.

you nasty vindictive s*d!!!

:D

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I'm not saying you shouldn't be free to post what you like.

I'm just saying you should be free to bugger off and ignore the place for a while too.

...........and occasionally some comments are posted deliberately to wind up or hurt; it's human nature to do that.

I don't see the point of getting wound up by comments written by people who I've never met and never will meet.

Exactly.. dont get wound up by the comments.

But speak out!

Ive seen too many threads go down a minority group route with people not post their opinion to turn it around.

So post what your thinking.... thats the point...You dont know the other posters and will never meet them (maybe) but to ignore them is to give them exposure that they dont deserve.

The whole point of this forum is to post what YOU think without fear of repercusions!

(Well unless you call Interested a twat and then you get a telling off but then he needed a proper title, he aint no punter and hopefully he aint a service provider...)

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Some people are more aggressive than others in their posting, There are many examples to confirm that.

Most of us are more moderate. But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments? It may be that I'm a softie, but it has happened to me recently. I submitted a post and got blasted ny Tammy. I'm not saying sher was wrong, far from it--she might well have been right. But, it was enough to stop me posting for a couple of weeks, amd, more importantly, it stopped me booking an appointment, which I was just about to do.

Do other people feel the same way, or is it just me that is ultra sensitive?

It doesnt inhibit me in any way now. I have had various run-ins with other posters including one that took two threads to resolve, i post what i wish which i ensure is not personal abuse which is out of order IMO as well as being against the rules.

I have been called a "prick", a "sad man" advised to "get a girlfriend" (which i had anyway), "an arsehole", had an Agency "advise" me how i should be posting which i didnt take kindly to and picked up a number of other insults. Personal abuse is usually the last line of defence used by these type of posters when they know they have been beaten in an argument or just cant or dont want to control themselves.:D

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Some people are more aggressive than others in their posting, There are many examples to confirm that.

Most of us are more moderate. But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments? It may be that I'm a softie, but it has happened to me recently. I submitted a post and got blasted ny Tammy. I'm not saying sher was wrong, far from it--she might well have been right. But, it was enough to stop me posting for a couple of weeks, amd, more importantly, it stopped me booking an appointment, which I was just about to do.

Do other people feel the same way, or is it just me that is ultra sensitive?

When you consider the large number of posters here and the fact that the subject matter of our posts can be a little - er - emotive at times, I think that it's amazing that the lid stays on as often as it does.

There are a few (only a few) posters who seem to get up most members noses. There are a few (thankfully more) posters who seem to be gifted with the ability to get complex, multiple points across in a manner which offends none.

Then there are the rest of us who clodhop from one subject to another, occasionally coming up with something witty and occasionally putting our size 9s right in our mouths.

In short, we have a fairly tyical cross section of humanity here (albeit with an unusual hobby or occupation). It's only natural therefore that sometimes things will get written in an overly aggressive manner. Furthermore, sometimes this will be by accident and sometimes by design.

I suppose it is fairly easy to feel a little hurt if someone blasts away at a post you have just made, but that's what boards like this are for isn't it? A free and frank exchange of views. Tammy's post to you George didn't seem aggressive to me, but it was forthright. It certainly wasn't personal. I am surprised that your reaction was to withdraw for a fortnight as things move on quickly and hence get forgotten and a well phrased PM can work wonders in healing rifts (real or perceived).

Some posters can take things too far and certain threads can get way out of hand but if they didn't, we wouldn't have the wonderful entertainment that is the "Going to Pattaya" thread, would we ?

For me, I find it's best to frequently remind myself that it's only a message board. Many of the posters adopt a persona and contrary stance, simply for the fun of it (and no Tammy, I don't think you do that at all). If someone wants to get all uptight about something you have written, you have two choices - let sleeping dogs lie (and go and read the Pattaya thread to cheer yourself up) or roll your sleeves up and have a debate. If you adopt the latter, remember to keep it civil otherwise it just causes hard work for the mods.

Remember at all times that this is not real life and hopefully you can stay sane around here :D.

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But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments?

No, not at all, quite the contrary in fact.

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Some people are more aggressive than others in their posting, There are many examples to confirm that.

Most of us are more moderate. But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments? It may be that I'm a softie, but it has happened to me recently. I submitted a post and got blasted ny Tammy. I'm not saying sher was wrong, far from it--she might well have been right. But, it was enough to stop me posting for a couple of weeks, amd, more importantly, it stopped me booking an appointment, which I was just about to do.

Do other people feel the same way, or is it just me that is ultra sensitive?

I agree, some people in cyberland think they are a cut above the rest which just portrays them to be immature, in my eyes. xxx:D:rolleyes::D:) I have taken a break a good few times due to the people with more mouth than bollocks xxx.:D

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I've been the victim of cyber bullying and big bust-ups with people on forums, loads of times, even received death threats. Once you switch of the PC, it all fades away!!!!!!!!

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There was actually a man murdered, in a dispute that started on an internet forum, i wonder which one that was. There is no doubt, that the relative anonymity of the internet, encourages people to be ruder and more agressive than in real life, that applies to all internet forums. If a poster is unusually rude, or particularly asinine, I have a look at their profiles. I suspect that what determines the posting style of many is their ability to touch type, (obviouslly I can). but a lot of blokes cant, invest in a typing tutor.

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Some people are more aggressive than others in their posting, There are many examples to confirm that.

Most of us are more moderate. But, when you get a relatively aggressive response, does it inhibit your furure comments? It may be that I'm a softie, but it has happened to me recently. I submitted a post and got blasted ny Tammy. I'm not saying sher was wrong, far from it--she might well have been right. But, it was enough to stop me posting for a couple of weeks, amd, more importantly, it stopped me booking an appointment, which I was just about to do.

Do other people feel the same way, or is it just me that is ultra sensitive?

I think you can compare this forum with being in traffic. Except you can't - or don't have to - get out of your car. 99 per cent of the time, everything works just fine. You're going to see all manner of people here, as you would on the road. Pushy, noisy, quiet, thoughtful, considerate, inconsiderate, argumentative, compliant etc people are all around you. As with traffic cops giving out speeding tickets or busting you for not having insurance, there are moderators to weed out the most offensive of comments and ensure people stick to the rules.

But as this is shared space, mostly it self-moderates in the way that traffic does. It has its own mentality, factions and delusions too, but most importantly, it always finds its own level. Just because we're all sitting behind a screen and not physically next to each other, doesn't mean that the normal communal conventions of human interaction - basically a balance of politeness, altruism and self-preservation - are ignored. It's certainly nothing to be afraid of and its communality is to be enjoyed.

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There has only ever been one post on here that has hurt my feelings and that was by an indie (sorry girls) who was making rather silly assumptions about parlour ladies cleanliness. That soon gave out to indignation and anger by the time i had finished reading her post.

Other than that ,no, no comments hurt my feelings or make me sad other than when people post things that have happened to children,as in a recent thread and if that doesnt hurt then i would be worried for my mental health.

I have been slated quite a lot on here in recent months as i decided to stop pussy footing around everyone and tell it how it is, say what i really think. Some dont like it, poor them, i really dont give a hoot as to get a negative reaction from me means you must have already been highly insulting or extremely small minded in the first place.

I can understand why the op would not want to book an appointment with someone with whom he has had a dispute, but having not read Tammy,s post to him i cannot comment further other than to say Tammy is highly professional and would not have let that get in the way of giving the guy a jolly good rogering of leg wobbling proportions.

You do need a thick skin on here sometimes, but when people are trying to downgrade or insult me i just remind myself that a lot of them are unlikley to have the nads to actually say those things to your face if you did ever meet them and thats if they even dare tell you their username. :D;)

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I think you can compare this forum with being in traffic. Except you can't - or don't have to - get out of your car. 99 per cent of the time, everything works just fine. You're going to see all manner of people here, as you would on the road. Pushy, noisy, quiet, thoughtful, considerate, inconsiderate, argumentative, compliant etc people are all around you. As with traffic cops giving out speeding tickets or busting you for not having insurance, there are moderators to weed out the most offensive of comments and ensure people stick to the rules.

But as this is shared space, mostly it self-moderates in the way that traffic does. It has its own mentality, factions and delusions too, but most importantly, it always finds its own level. Just because we're all sitting behind a screen and not physically next to each other, doesn't mean that the normal communal conventions of human interaction - basically a balance of politeness, altruism and self-preservation - are ignored. It's certainly nothing to be afraid of and its communality is to be enjoyed.

I like this analogy. It is rather accurate and then when you mix in the fact that you don't know what emotional state someone may be on that day, for instance they may have had a bad experience, entered a depression for whatever reason,not had enough sleep, lost someone or lost their job etc, then they might just be taking their frustrations out on the post and taking something personally when it was never meant to be. The fact is the comment maybe polarised and completely taken out of proportion, which results in a defensive response that is of the same calibre. It's best to take a step back, think about the origin of the message you sent, could it have been misconstrude and if so, take it on the chin and leave it alone.

Having said that, if I read a response to one of my posts that was obviously directed at me and vindictive or nasty I probably would make a point of not accepting a booking off that punter if he ever had the desire to do so. If it was a fellow wg, then possibly I would message her directly to try and iron it out, as for me I am of the belief that we are all the same, we're all working to make ends meet and care for the ones we're responsible for in life and would hope it could be resolved. If not... life is just too short!

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OK--your view, bur it did stop me.

If a girl I was thinking of booking posted something spiteful, I may well not book her because I would feel that when I revealed my posting identity, she may feel "oh no, not him". But I rarely book girls from the board.

Returning to the thread, comments clearly hurt. I have always liked May in an electronic sort of way and I notice that she is not posting (Btw, the thread was positively vindictive...)

Jack

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If a girl I was thinking of booking posted something spiteful, I may well not book her because I would feel that when I revealed my posting identity, she may feel "oh no, not him". But I rarely book girls from the board.

Returning to the thread, comments clearly hurt. I have always liked May in an electronic sort of way and I notice that she is not posting (Btw, the thread was positively vindictive...)

Jack

Dunno if you missed it JJ but the latest episode of May's Meanderings appeared three days ago. (I do, however, agree with you about the nastiness of the thread in question.)

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I do, however, agree with you about the nastiness of the thread in question.

Is the thread still extant? If so would you post a link please.

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Is the thread still extant? If so would you post a link please.

Sorry SaSfan, I don't think it was deleted, so it's probably there somewhere, but in all honesty I couldn't just lay a finger on it. It was maybe three weeks ago and, if I remember rightly, it started with a rather viciious FR on May. To be honest, though, I have no wish to have any responsibility for it being revived. :D

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if I remember rightly, it started with a rather viciious FR on May.

Ah yes, I remember it now, thanks.

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When I made my first contribution to this board I thought naively that I would

recieve at least some sympathy and support, it was a thread I started explaining how I was ripped off by a long standing and trusted client.

How wrong I was. I was quite hurt and also shocked at how some of the posters

would take any opportunity to jump on a newbie and slice them to bits.

I gave the forum a rest and then came back and posted when I felt I had something to say which might be of either slight interest or a tiny bit amusing.

Like anything else, if you don't like what you see or read, then DON'T LOOK ! and that of course applied to me too.

What I will not do however, because I try not to be hypocritical :D

is slag off people on this board who I may have actually met .... despite having more than one or two gripes with those people......

I bite my tongue and never type if I have had a vodka or two.

I am still surprised though, at how long standing posters still make sarcastic and underhand posts and manage to get away with it. It is apparent that some folk on here are allowed to be bitchy and others are not.

I try not to jump onto every thread as others do.

.......... the original question "do comments hurt" ?

I imagine it would be a very hard skinned person who is not hurt by some comments.... but there again... this industry is full to the brim of hard skinned people in my view.

I am not one of them.

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