Claire

Is this acceptable in a marriage? And does it make punting more acceptable?

247 posts in this topic

Totally unacceptable, if she finds her husband so repulsive she should end the marriage. :(:mad:

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Jimmy, she says in the article 'It's not that sex with Andrew repulses me; I am still attracted to him. It just feels like such a chore. To be frank, I just can't be bothered.'

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Jimmy, she says in the article 'It's not that sex with Andrew repulses me; I am still attracted to him. It just feels like such a chore. To be frank, I just can't be bothered.'

OK, he should end the marriage then, either way it is not acceptable. :(

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Acceptable? I think you have to be in the situation in order to make that call. Many marriages carry to exist with little or no sex and the decision to end a marriage has to take into account many factors.

Acceptable? Who knows, but it happens a lot.

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Acceptable? I think you have to be in the situation in order to make that call. Many marriages carry to exist with little or no sex and the decision to end a marriage has to take into account many factors.

Acceptable? Who knows, but it happens a lot.

You may not end the marriage because of it but its still completely unacceptable.

" I am still attracted to him. It just feels like such a chore. To be frank, I just can't be bothered.' "

Its a silly article in my view as it explains very little. How can you say you are genuinely attracted to someone and yet not ' be othered ' to have a sexual relationship with him. She's lying,even if only to herself.!

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Why are some women so obsessed with using their man as a sperm donor then seemingly ignoring him and his physical and emotional needs once they get their babies out of him??!! And why do men fall for it all the time ?? From 'accidental' pregnancies (it's 2010, doh) that trap him to treating him as a fool,just providing for them and their precious offspring.... some women make me ashamed to be one :(

If her and her like just wanted children so badly why didn't she go it alone as a single mother? Because she likes 'going to meet friends and out for lunch', the easy lifestyle that her sap of a husband pays for as a stay at home mum! A month on her own would magically bring her libido back for him, I'm sure lol.

Any man stuck with a parasite like this should become unstuck very quickly! I bet this particular selfish woman would be absolutely incensed if the poor guy went with wgs..seems she really does expect to have everything her own selfish little way.

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I especially liked "'But if a woman has had her two or three children and doesn't want any more, having sex is essentially a biological waste of time."

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Well I can't really comment on the first part as marriage, or cohabiting/partnership etc. is pretty much an alien concept as far as I am concerned, therefore what goes on or doesn't go on in a marriage is something that rarely if ever crosses my mind; however assuming that her husband is remotely interested in having sex then I think that the lady in question would be hard pushed to justify any complaint if he did punt.

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Thats a very selfish view, she could at least compromise with the hubby over how much sex they would both feel comfortable with, after all thats what makes a marraige work. I can understand having small bouts of inactivity, but, realistically, if its been more than a few months, then thats just asking for trouble. And if she is obviously finding it a chore, its going to be reflected when doing it, how enjoyable is she going to be in bed? A person needs to feel wanted, desired and attractive, her husband probably dosent get this kind of sexually charged attention. If he hasnt got it elsewhere, then he will do, its an animal instinct to sow the seed.

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Well, let's hope he's not a Daily Mail reader then. :rolleyes:

Or do you think he's already noticed her behaviour? :(

Marriage is a whole series of compromises. I wonder what it is about her that he puts up with and what he does for her which he finds a 'bit of a chore'.

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Why are some women so obsessed with using their man as a sperm donor ...

Any man stuck with a parasite like this should become unstuck very quickly! I bet this particular selfish woman would be absolutely incensed if the poor guy went with wgs..seems she really does expect to have everything her own selfish little way.

Having read the full article, I feel the above is very harsh! First, she clearly states in the early days her and her partner had lots of sex and were happily in love. 'Parasite' is also extreme, given that she's actually had the balls to come out and echo the sentiments of god knows how many women out there.

She has been honest that she's really gone off sex (perfectly feasible) and avoids it. Would it be better if she 'just got on with it' ?

We, as harlots, will hear more than most regarding the ins and outs (or not) of marriage. It's quite often that sex takes a back seat, but the joint life together is good. The couple of hours with us can appease any nagging resentment that bugger all is going on at home. Likewise, it works the other way, I've had very attractive female friends bemoaning the lack of interest shown by their other halves after a while.

Familiarity has a lot to answer for :(

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I think its acceptable , Marraige is not all about sex. Its about companionship I think .

And the woman in the article needs some therapy. If she doesnt wanna have sex fine but she needs communicate with her husband, so that he could then continue his marraige and punt else where.

Also I dont find it acceptable bringing private issues between couples out in public like this. Can you imagine what the guy must be going through!!!

I know its 2010 but still there is immense pressure on men on thier sexual performance let alone myths of size, girth etc etc

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This shit right here is why I don't believe in monogamy. Of course the woman has every right not to have sex if she doesn't want to, but that doesn't mean her husband has to abandon all of his physical needs. There are very few people, if any, who are lucky enough to have a partner who's needs they match exactly. How often they want sex, what they like to do. And even if they're perfectly compatible to start with, things change. Age, having children, other factors too. Anything can change people's needs and then they may have to seek it elsewhere.

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Every woman has the right to not have sex. If she conceded and slept with him out of marital duty she would end up resenting him and probably hating him which would destroy an otherwise working marriage.

Who is to say her hubby doesnt already get his rocks off elsewhere. If their marriage is working who are we to pass comment on it

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Its a difficult one. I know two people in this chaps situation and as other posters have said, marriage is about more than just sex.

Both chaps I know in the exact same situation have children with their wives as well as many other shared responsibilities. What do you do ? Divorce your wife of twenty years because she's gone off sex ? Then spend the rest of your days as a balding 50 year old man with barely any social life, trying to figure out where your Mojo went ? :( Both chaps I know are too scared of the "change".

One of the chaps wives uses sex as a method of control and the other simply doesn't want it and shuts down when he attempts to discuss problems with their sex life.

I feel bad for them both because it effects their lives not just in the bedroom.

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Having sex in the marriage is not only the physical act, but communication, closeness and feelings. Yes, marriage is companionship, but over time, not getting together in bed, planning, anticipating, touching, communicating, causes drift and separation. It won't be the lack of sex which destroys the marriage, but the emotional distance the lack of sex generates.

This isn't conjecture by me. My personal experience validates my beliefs.

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I especially liked "'But if a woman has had her two or three children and doesn't want any more, having sex is essentially a biological waste of time."

This is a quote from a hormone specialist, I think?

Darwinians note that the young of our species are dependant on the parents for nigh on twenty years, whereas a young elephant or whale, both of whom have similar life spans, are off in two or three years.

Whatever your ideas about marriage, partnership and HH's warm encouragement of the LGBT gang, children do better if they are brought up in a home with two parents, so it makes very good evolutionary sense for the female of homo sapiens to keep her mate fucking for fun at home!

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Well I can't really comment on the first part as marriage, or cohabiting/partnership etc. is pretty much an alien concept as far as I am concerned,

.

That's exactly how I feel!

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Been there, got the t-shirt. Once our 2 children were born sex was not on the menu unless she needed something from me ( most of the time she didn't need anything ...... )

Being nice, meals out, surprises, presents, flowers, holidays, days out, shopping trips, doing the housework, leaving her alone for 'me-time', or just straightforward pleading for sex just didn't work. Her attitude was she had what she wanted and if I wanted sex - Well I could go and screw myself.

`

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"Acceptable" is not a word to use in this context; more like just how it is for a large number of couples.

I look around my circle and can see all kinds of compromises going on. You see the expressions flitting across on or other partners faces, hear the sharp asides and note the gritted teeth.

The "if it's like that, then they should split" people are missing the point as much as the moralists. Often there is so much mutual investment in the relationship that it just ain't worth the hassle of splitting.

But this is why the law should keep out of the bedroom; the gradations of sex are just too fine for the law or feminists

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"Her attitude was she had what she wanted and if I wanted sex - Well I could go and screw myself."

I was told that if it was wild sex I wanted, then I could go and get it; just not on her territory.

I kept to that while there was some sort of sex but since total cessation, I've been very careful rather than fully observant.

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It isn't acceptable but is the reality for many marriages, including my own. I don't want my wife pretending to want sex when I know she doesn't, just to keep me in the marriage. I see through that immediately, not that she even pretends any more. And I gave up approaching her long ago - there are only so many refusals a man can take before he gives up asking.

I don't want to break up though, we have a lot in common including children and friendship. Thats where we are now, in a living together as housemates sort of friendship.

But I still want / need sex so what do I do? I enjoy the company of beautiful sexy women and pay for the privilege, but however much I pay its still cheaper, both emotionally and financially, then getting a divorce.

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She didn't have to shame her husband by washing their dirty laundry in public. By having her photo taken and by not using aliases, she's made sure that all their friends, neighbours and relatives now know about their personal life.

She has no one to blame, except herself, if he should leave her, or have an affair or start using prostitutes.

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there are only so many refusals a man can take before he gives up asking.

That is true.

Being rejected sexually by a woman, who's supposed to be your wife but won't act like one, hurts painfully.

The vast majority of men simply give up going anywhere near their wives after they've been rejected the first 5-6 times.

Sexual rejection means a little part of you dies and the only way you can retaliate is by sexually ignoring her in return.

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