Massage

Can I have your opinons please?

70 posts in this topic

This is my 1st post and I'm afraid it's probably going to be a long one. Bear with me please.

Recently I visited a Mistress/Dominatrix (my 3rd visit to her) and had booked for two hours at the price of 250.00. The plan (at least as far as I was concerned) was for her to spend the first hour dominating me, with the aim of her trying to get me to submit to her strap-on. From the outset, I thought it was extremely unlikely she would be successful (and thought I made this clear) so therefore I suggested that should she fail, I would take control in the 2nd hour otherwise the session would end in an anti-climax. It appears this is where the misunderstandings begun. The session began without us first discussing the boundaries. In my opinion this happened because the lady immediately begun the session. However I accept that I could have stopped her to discuss this. The 1st hour had ended as I expected it would so I therefore attempted to take control. The lady was not opposed to this, but wanted to know what I planned to do. I suggested that she let me know what was off limits and I would respect this. I felt it would detract from the reality if I were to state exactly what was potentially going to occur next. We discussed this for a while, without comprise. I suggested that we should end the session, and perhaps re-visit it another time after we had given the each other the opportunity to clearly discuss the boundaries. The lady did not seem overly keen on ending the session, but just wanted to know what I had planned suggesting that she may enjoy it. I was not willing to do this for reasons I had stated before, but invited the lady to have a further 10 minutes to attempt to get me to submit, with the previous conditions. The lady accepted this, but the 10 minutes ended as the hour did. We discussed the issue for a short while after (all discussions were very cordial, perhaps even a little flirtatious). We made a little progress in terms of what some of her boundaries were; one being she did not want any anal play today (I was okay with this), the 2nd being she did not want to be verbally humiliated. It seemed to be unlikely that the session could progress with this condition in place, particularly as the lady was unwilling what she considered to be verbal humiliation. So I decided to end the session. This is where it got difficult. I had placed the 250.00 on her table as I had arrived, however was not willing to pay the full fee. I suggested I pay 140.00 which is the price I had usually paid for an hour. The lady wanted me to pay 170.00, saying that the 140.00 is a discount she offers to me because she enjoys our sessions ( I believe this is true because she had said this in the past and the prices she quotes on her website are more), she also said the session had lasted 1.5 hours. Certainly there had been an extra 10 minutes of activity and we and spent some time discussing the issue, however I was not willing to pay extra for this. More discussion ensued with the lady saying that I was humiliating her and was manipulating her. For a moment this almost persuaded me to pay 170.00, but then considered how I would feel paying 170.00 for something that ultimately was not what I wanted and would not have agreed to at the beginning. In the end I decided to give her 150.00. I left saying that I would email her and consider whether I was wrong, and if I felt I was wrong I would give her the extra 20.00 (which I know is not a huge sum of money). So I'm asking if you think I was wrong in my actions. I personally put it down to genuine miscommunication from both parties. I can post the email correspondence prior to the session which I feel is quite informative (but I just didn't want to overload you). Thanks for your time.

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I'm struggling to follow exactly what happened - maybe you could keep your paragraphs to less than 50 lines in future posts ?

It seems to me your session - excluding time spent debating what to include in the rest of the session - still ended up well over an hour so to be fair you should add a bit more to the hourly rate. But being pragmatic, it's probably only worth it if you're going to be visiting her again in future.

It would be interesting to know who the dominatrix was, please.

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It would be interesting to know who the dominatrix was, please.

Keep it to pm please.

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i think if her profile says that her service fee is 170/hour than she is right.

what ever u paid before. 2nd thing is that u pay for the time not the service,

so what ever happend, she is right again to get 170.

and in the end, our hobby is expensive, everybody knows that before

vistiting a WG so i would give a shit about the 20 quit.

i think if u really fell riped-off you have the coice to meet someone new.

but starting a big discussion about 20 quit is a bit ridiculous.

u never know exactly what u get in a session - it is not McD :rolleyes::):rolleyes:

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Well, first thought was " Paragraphing would help"

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Hi massage, and welcome to the board.

I think that the lack of communication at the start of the appointment was the major factor in your ensuing problems.

The time spent mid-session discussing what should happen next, whilst not being an active part of the meeting, was never the less the ladies time, your arguing the toss about the price was bad mannered, and could have been avoided by clear communication at the start.

After all, what is £20 in the grand scheme of things, it is likely to adversely affect any future dealings you may have with this lady.

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I would think it was perfectly reasonable for her to want to know what you intended to do to her and her body beforehand and by refusing to disclose this it's no wonder why she put the brakes on. Also as, regardless of the outcome, you used up more than an hour of her time bascially because of your dilly dallying I feel you should have absolutely paid her what was a discounted rate of £30 for the extra half hour of her time which was taken up.

Ultimately my opinion from what you describe is that you were well out of order.

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It seems to me you have a very confused idea of what a Mistress/Domintarix supplies. Yes, you have the right to discuss your boundaries, but to expect to 'change ends' halfway is bizarre.

I'd say you wasted quite a lot of this ladies day in messing around with your expectations and not telling her whatever the hell you propsed to do to her during 'your go' at being in charge.

Yes, you do owe her £20 - and an apology.

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It seems to me you have a very confused idea of what a Mistress/Domintarix supplies. Yes, you have the right to discuss your boundaries, but to expect to 'change ends' halfway is bizarre.

I'd say you wasted quite a lot of this ladies day in messing around with your expectations and not telling her whatever the hell you propsed to do to her during 'your go' at being in charge.

Yes, you do owe her £20 - and an apology.

I do have some experience in this field and it is rare to find a dominatrix who is willing to "switch".

Obviously I would never book for two hours but even on a one hour booking I would make it clear what I wanted to experience.

Personally I would not give her the £20 or an apology but move on to someone more suitable, there are submissive ladies out there.

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This is clearly some one you've seen before and value?

Assuming that's true I feel you obviously treated her in a daft way....much better when you ended the session early to ask her what she thought was a reasonable fee. (And pay it unless it was outrageous. What she wanted wasn't outrageous.)

Ultimately, forget whether its "right or wrong"... just sit down and ask yourself if what you've done is likely to put you in the "awkward sod" or "good customer" section of her noodle. If you plan to see her again... I'd be pragmatic, apologize, and pony up the twenty.

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The plan (at least as far as I was concerned) was for her to spend the first hour dominating me, with the aim of her trying to get me to submit to her strap-on. From the outset, I thought it was extremely unlikely she would be successful (and thought I made this clear) so therefore I suggested that should she fail, I would take control in the 2nd hour otherwise the session would end in an anti-climax. but invited the lady to have a further 10 minutes to attempt to get me to submit, with the previous conditions. .

I'm a bit confused about the first session, and why it failed. My knowledge of BDSM is very limited, but I would assume that if your being dominated, and possibly in some form of restraint, why would the mistress fail to use the strap-on. Surely, you either want to experiment with a strap-on or you don't, but you'd know that before the session. Or is it a physical problem that occured when she attempted to penetrate ?

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This is my 1st post and I'm afraid it's probably going to be a long one. Bear with me please.

Recently I visited a Mistress/Dominatrix (my 3rd visit to her) and had booked for two hours at the price of 250.00. The plan (at least as far as I was concerned) was for her to spend the first hour dominating me, with the aim of her trying to get me to submit to her strap-on. From the outset, I thought it was extremely unlikely she would be successful (and thought I made this clear) so therefore I suggested that should she fail, I would take control in the 2nd hour otherwise the session would end in an anti-climax. It appears this is where the misunderstandings begun. The session began without us first discussing the boundaries. In my opinion this happened because the lady immediately begun the session. However I accept that I could have stopped her to discuss this. The 1st hour had ended as I expected it would so I therefore attempted to take control. The lady was not opposed to this, but wanted to know what I planned to do. I suggested that she let me know what was off limits and I would respect this. I felt it would detract from the reality if I were to state exactly what was potentially going to occur next. We discussed this for a while, without comprise. I suggested that we should end the session, and perhaps re-visit it another time after we had given the each other the opportunity to clearly discuss the boundaries. The lady did not seem overly keen on ending the session, but just wanted to know what I had planned suggesting that she may enjoy it. I was not willing to do this for reasons I had stated before, but invited the lady to have a further 10 minutes to attempt to get me to submit, with the previous conditions. The lady accepted this, but the 10 minutes ended as the hour did. We discussed the issue for a short while after (all discussions were very cordial, perhaps even a little flirtatious). We made a little progress in terms of what some of her boundaries were; one being she did not want any anal play today (I was okay with this), the 2nd being she did not want to be verbally humiliated. It seemed to be unlikely that the session could progress with this condition in place, particularly as the lady was unwilling what she considered to be verbal humiliation. So I decided to end the session. This is where it got difficult. I had placed the 250.00 on her table as I had arrived, however was not willing to pay the full fee. I suggested I pay 140.00 which is the price I had usually paid for an hour. The lady wanted me to pay 170.00, saying that the 140.00 is a discount she offers to me because she enjoys our sessions ( I believe this is true because she had said this in the past and the prices she quotes on her website are more), she also said the session had lasted 1.5 hours. Certainly there had been an extra 10 minutes of activity and we and spent some time discussing the issue, however I was not willing to pay extra for this. More discussion ensued with the lady saying that I was humiliating her and was manipulating her. For a moment this almost persuaded me to pay 170.00, but then considered how I would feel paying 170.00 for something that ultimately was not what I wanted and would not have agreed to at the beginning. In the end I decided to give her 150.00. I left saying that I would email her and consider whether I was wrong, and if I felt I was wrong I would give her the extra 20.00 (which I know is not a huge sum of money). So I'm asking if you think I was wrong in my actions. I personally put it down to genuine miscommunication from both parties. I can post the email correspondence prior to the session which I feel is quite informative (but I just didn't want to overload you). Thanks for your time.

Welcome to the board.:rolleyes: I note you say "she enjoys our sessions", so had met her before, so why hadnt you already sorted out the scenario you required with her and why didnt you already know her boundaries. I am confused by this. If it were me i would have known her boundaries by the end of the first meeting so i would know whether to see her again.

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Thanks for everyones response. I'll try to answer some of the issues that have arisen

1. Our future relationship is not a factor, however if I feel I was wrong then I will accept this and pay the extra 20.00.

2. Whilst we spent a significant about of time discussing, on several occasions I suggested we simply end after the first hour, however the lady did not seem keen to do this, therefore I feel at best we were equally responsible for this. Also I had suggested we discuss the boundaries via email.

3. I am very new to this world, however except that the majorit of dominatrix prpbably will not switch (she certainly does not advertise this service, although in our previous sessions she had pushed boundaires beyond what she advertises which is why I thought there may have been potential. During our conversation on the day she also made it clear that she would consider and possibly enjoy extra activies, so I don't think this was an issue). Having said that this is what I had asked for and as far as I was aware this was what had been agreed to. I also understand that could justifyable been anxious about the unknown (which is why I suggested we discuss the boundaries) and suggested that we end the session because of this.

Below are the emails we exchanged are the emails exchanged prior to the session. Hopefully it will add some more context.

Hello xxxx,

It has been a few months since I last had the pleasure of visiting you, but I can still remember it very well. If I recall correctly before I left we had a conversation in which you suggested confidently that you would be able to use you various powers of persuasion to convince me to submit to you and your strap-on. I was and still am intrigued by your confidence and would very much like to take on this challenge. However, I genuinely cannot imagine you being successful (although I'm sure you're very talented) and therefore it seems to me session would end in an anti-climax. So I have a suggestion; should you succeed in convincing me to submit you can use strap-on until your heart is content, however should you fail, I would take control of the time that remains and perhaps use your strap-on on you. What do you think?

Regards,

xxxx

HI xxxx,

sorry for delay!

it would not be very practical for you to use your strap on on me, especially if your own device is hard and in the way.

I have relocated to xxxx, xxxx - to a much nicer and much bigger flat - you can choose where you want to be abused!

Hi xxxx,

Thanks for the response. I suppose you're right about the practicality, but you're assuming my device will be hard (you're probably right). Anyway, I take it that you're not opposed to the concept of the scenario. I'm thinking an hour won't be long enough, maybe two, what will the fee for that be? I'm free on 04/06/10, is that good for you? Would you prefer to discuss any boundaries now or in person on the day? xxxx sounds nice.

Regards,

xxxx

HI xxxx,

4th June is fine with me - let's say £250 for 2 hours (£130 for one as before).

Of course I am opposed to the concept. It's just not going to happen! Let's discuss it on the day.

Okay. I'm free all day so let me know what time is good for you (closer to the day if you want). I always forget this; do you want me to make a booking? if not, there's no need to reply.

Regards,

xxxx

Hi xxxx,

yes please, do make a booking for anytime and then we can finalize closer the day.

text me your number please!

My (small) strap on is ready!

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Ok, so you have seen her before but still dont know her boundries.

The lady is a dominatrix but you wanted her to switch to sub half way through without discussing it beforehand.

Once you had let her know you wanted her to switch you then refused to tell her what you were going to do her.

You spend an extra 10 minutes in activities and on top of that you used up some of your appointment discussing things.

Firstly, if you know her well then you should know her boundries.

Secondly, Most dom,s will not switch and even if they do quite often they will expect to dictate exacty what you may do to them.

Thirdly, you actually expected a lady to agree to something of which she had no knowledge, I am not surprised she refused you as i think any sane lady would have done the same.

Fourthly, it makes no difference if you did not want to pay for time spent discussing things, the discussion happened within your appointment time and at your request, thats your problem not hers, why should she sit there and chitchat with you for free when you have clearly messed her about.

Yes you owe her the money and more importantly you owe her a big apology.

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im no fluffy but feel the WG is right on this one.

you should have specified your requirements before booking and decided accordingly. she seems a good'un as many wgs would have insisted on the full fee as you had taken the full 2 hour slot but only paid fot the 1 hour used.

So if you're planning to see her again i'd cough up the 20 quid and apologise. i suspect you'll get dominated to the max next time as she takes her revenge so make sure you clearly spell out the release word before the session!

And try using paragraphs!

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I honestly think that having probably made her feel decidedly uncomfortable, you should have paid what she asked.

Switching is all very well, but mid session?

I assume you have a fantasy about a woman trying to dominate you and you then turning the tables? If I were you, I'd find a sub who's willing to roleplay and you may find it's works a damn sight better.

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Apart from lacking paragraphs, your message does lack a lot of detail. It is hard make an opinion based on what you have said.

As others have stated, unless the lady advertises as switch you don't have a cat in hells chance of making a Domme switch. She is a Domme for a reason. I imagine this is why you don't know her limits, as before it has never been an issue.

The other point that has been brought up a couple of times is reference to the strap on. I would have imagined you would have been restrained, so why couldn't she do it and why did you assume she would be unsuccessful? Also was this you plan all along? To put her in a position where you felt she could not refuse her switching for you?

My opinion would be if you really want to switch, then you need to find someone who calls herself a switch and not try and change someone, just because you want to. You owe her an apology and at least £20 for putting her in a difficult position. It seems to me she has been good to you in the past and you have repaid her by asking her to do something you probably know she was not keen to do.

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Re the strap-on, the lady said "Of course I am opposed to the concept. It's just not going to happen!" and then, re boundaries, "Let's discuss it on the day." It might have been clearer to the OP had she used paragraphs, but hey ho. :rolleyes:

You owe the lady, and should find someone else if you want a submissive.

Incidentally, why would you want to use a strap-on when you have your own "device"? :rolleyes:

[innocent emoticon]

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Her email clearly states 'of course I am opposed to the idea, it's just not going to happen.'

And you're asking us if you were in the right???????

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Typical of some subs they just can't help being awkward ! I would hope both you and her learn valuble lessons from it - she should have taken into account you were new - all boundaries should have been discussed, and a clear line drawn up between what was acceptable with options to opt out at any time, and as you had raised a new angle to play ie. switching, this should have been discussed thoroughly. I have a feeling she really thought you would submit to the strap-on, so no need to go onto her submitting to you, hence not discussing it first.

For a newbie I think it's wise to dip your toes gently, fantasy and the realities can be 2 different things. I don't think changing from sub to master so soon, and mid session when you haven't even mastered being dominated would have filled any domme who would switch to sub, with confidence (the sub is always in charge of any session - your attitude 2nd half makes me think you couldn't be trusted to play a master and switch).

Have you been to any fetish clubs to view proceedings and gain an insight into how thingsa work ?

There have been mistakes made as far as I can see from your version of things but if you want to play sub again, I'd go cap in hand, apologise and pay the £20 :rolleyes:

Edited by Melanieabz
added somthing

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Her email clearly states 'of course I am opposed to the idea, it's just not going to happen.'

And you're asking us if you were in the right???????

Indeed she did and i would of taken that as a definate no. The OP may have taken her "lets discuss it on the day" as hope that she might be talked round.

Discussing her boundaries at the previous meeting/s is what i would of done, i would then know what was available and what not. As ever clear communication is the key in my view.:rolleyes:

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Thanks for everyones response. I'll try to answer some of the issues that have arisen

1. Our future relationship is not a factor, however if I feel I was wrong then I will accept this and pay the extra 20.00.

2. Whilst we spent a significant about of time discussing, on several occasions I suggested we simply end after the first hour, however the lady did not seem keen to do this, therefore I feel at best we were equally responsible for this. Also I had suggested we discuss the boundaries via email.

3. I am very new to this world, however except that the majorit of dominatrix prpbably will not switch (she certainly does not advertise this service, although in our previous sessions she had pushed boundaires beyond what she advertises which is why I thought there may have been potential. During our conversation on the day she also made it clear that she would consider and possibly enjoy extra activies, so I don't think this was an issue). Having said that this is what I had asked for and as far as I was aware this was what had been agreed to. I also understand that could justifyable been anxious about the unknown (which is why I suggested we discuss the boundaries) and suggested that we end the session because of this.

Below are the emails we exchanged are the emails exchanged prior to the session. Hopefully it will add some more context.

Hello xxxx,

It has been a few months since I last had the pleasure of visiting you, but I can still remember it very well. If I recall correctly before I left we had a conversation in which you suggested confidently that you would be able to use you various powers of persuasion to convince me to submit to you and your strap-on. I was and still am intrigued by your confidence and would very much like to take on this challenge. However, I genuinely cannot imagine you being successful (although I'm sure you're very talented) and therefore it seems to me session would end in an anti-climax. So I have a suggestion; should you succeed in convincing me to submit you can use strap-on until your heart is content, however should you fail, I would take control of the time that remains and perhaps use your strap-on on you. What do you think?

Regards,

xxxx

HI xxxx,

sorry for delay!

it would not be very practical for you to use your strap on on me, especially if your own device is hard and in the way.

I have relocated to xxxx, xxxx - to a much nicer and much bigger flat - you can choose where you want to be abused!

Hi xxxx,

Thanks for the response. I suppose you're right about the practicality, but you're assuming my device will be hard (you're probably right). Anyway, I take it that you're not opposed to the concept of the scenario. I'm thinking an hour won't be long enough, maybe two, what will the fee for that be? I'm free on 04/06/10, is that good for you? Would you prefer to discuss any boundaries now or in person on the day? xxxx sounds nice.

Regards,

xxxx

HI xxxx,

4th June is fine with me - let's say £250 for 2 hours (£130 for one as before).

Of course I am opposed to the concept. It's just not going to happen! Let's discuss it on the day.

Okay. I'm free all day so let me know what time is good for you (closer to the day if you want). I always forget this; do you want me to make a booking? if not, there's no need to reply.

Regards,

xxxx

Hi xxxx,

yes please, do make a booking for anytime and then we can finalize closer the day.

text me your number please!

My (small) strap on is ready!

The lady made her position clear in her email responses except where she says "lets discuss it on the day" IMO. Did you think her adding this meant she might be persuaded by yourself despite saying "of course i am opposed to the concept" and "its just not going to happen!"?

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If it had been me I would have demanded the whole 2 hour fee. You booked 2 hours specifically, she quite probably turned away other bookings to accomodate you and hence her reluctance to just end the appointment.

If you have seen her before there is no excuse to cut short an appointment past major family disaster and the boundary issue again sounds like your problem not hers... she made her feelings crystal clear, how you could confuse "Its Just Not Going To Happen" with yes all is perectly fine lets do it, is beyond me. Do you respond in the same manner when a girl tells you NO? Do you infact hear Yes instead?

Im amazed she didnt freak out when you brought up the switch in the middle of the appiontment then refused to explain what you wanted to do. She had been crystal clear she wasnt going to switch and you sprung it on her half way through the appointment. I would have been thinking whats this guy playing at and looking for an object to protect myself with.

Her offer of £170 was incredibly generous, especially when your already on discounted rates and you wanted to argue about £20???

An apolology, £20, a huge box of chocolates and a proper bunch of flowers are in order and even then I wouldnt expect to be welcomed back through the door. Your lucky you dont have a punter warning out on you, sounds like she would have been well justified

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This is my 1st post and I'm afraid it's probably going to be a long one. Bear with me please.

Recently I visited a Mistress/Dominatrix (my 3rd visit to her) and had booked for two hours at the price of 250.00. The plan (at least as far as I was concerned) was for her to spend the first hour dominating me, with the aim of her trying to get me to submit to her strap-on. From the outset, I thought it was extremely unlikely she would be successful (and thought I made this clear) so therefore I suggested that should she fail, I would take control in the 2nd hour otherwise the session would end in an anti-climax. It appears this is where the misunderstandings begun. The session began without us first discussing the boundaries. In my opinion this happened because the lady immediately begun the session. However I accept that I could have stopped her to discuss this. The 1st hour had ended as I expected it would so I therefore attempted to take control. The lady was not opposed to this, but wanted to know what I planned to do. I suggested that she let me know what was off limits and I would respect this. I felt it would detract from the reality if I were to state exactly what was potentially going to occur next. We discussed this for a while, without comprise. I suggested that we should end the session, and perhaps re-visit it another time after we had given the each other the opportunity to clearly discuss the boundaries. The lady did not seem overly keen on ending the session, but just wanted to know what I had planned suggesting that she may enjoy it. I was not willing to do this for reasons I had stated before, but invited the lady to have a further 10 minutes to attempt to get me to submit, with the previous conditions. The lady accepted this, but the 10 minutes ended as the hour did. We discussed the issue for a short while after (all discussions were very cordial, perhaps even a little flirtatious). We made a little progress in terms of what some of her boundaries were; one being she did not want any anal play today (I was okay with this), the 2nd being she did not want to be verbally humiliated. It seemed to be unlikely that the session could progress with this condition in place, particularly as the lady was unwilling what she considered to be verbal humiliation. So I decided to end the session. This is where it got difficult. I had placed the 250.00 on her table as I had arrived, however was not willing to pay the full fee. I suggested I pay 140.00 which is the price I had usually paid for an hour. The lady wanted me to pay 170.00, saying that the 140.00 is a discount she offers to me because she enjoys our sessions ( I believe this is true because she had said this in the past and the prices she quotes on her website are more), she also said the session had lasted 1.5 hours. Certainly there had been an extra 10 minutes of activity and we and spent some time discussing the issue, however I was not willing to pay extra for this. More discussion ensued with the lady saying that I was humiliating her and was manipulating her. For a moment this almost persuaded me to pay 170.00, but then considered how I would feel paying 170.00 for something that ultimately was not what I wanted and would not have agreed to at the beginning. In the end I decided to give her 150.00. I left saying that I would email her and consider whether I was wrong, and if I felt I was wrong I would give her the extra 20.00 (which I know is not a huge sum of money). So I'm asking if you think I was wrong in my actions. I personally put it down to genuine miscommunication from both parties. I can post the email correspondence prior to the session which I feel is quite informative (but I just didn't want to overload you). Thanks for your time.

Is it really worth all this fuss over £20?

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Thanks again for the responses.

Firstly I would like to respond to the person who asked whether I hear yes when girls say no. No, I'm not a rapist or anything of the sort. Whilst most, if not all, seem to think I was wrong their responses have been constructive; this is not.

Anyway, I did not just announce this halfway through the session. I made it clear at the beginning that should she be unable to get be to sumbit to the strap-on within the 1st hour then I would take over. There was no resistance to this, although it was not discussed in detail. I believe this was beacuase she thought I was joking or perhaps that I would submit as both were mentioned after.

Someone asked whether I have been to any fetish clubs; I have not. To be honest I'm not greatly interested in BDSM. It was more the challenge that interested me. Having said that perhaps it was naive of me to expect the scenario to take place as I had imagined it would. I accept this.

I accept that the line from the emails that many of you have quoted appears very clear. However, I geniunely interpreted this to mean that she would get me to sumbit an in such was the bravado I would expect from a Domme. The reason I interpreted it this way was because she had agreed to a session in which I believed I had made it clear that the main premise was that should the lady be unable to get to sumbit to the strap-on I would take over. In my first email I stated that I did not feel she would be able to do this and therefore the session would end in an anti-climax, which is why I propsed the 2nd half. This is why I assumed that in accepting the booking she was accepting the main premise of the scenario that I had presented. However I do not want to appear as though I am trying to defend by position (certainly not my motives as I know they were geniune) as it seems most if not all have intepreted the situation the way she has.

Someone else mentioned that they think the lady beleived I would sumbit to the strap-on. You are correct on this, however I thought I made it clear that I did not think it was likely.

As I have said before the chance of going back will not factor in my decision. However if, as it seems, most people seem to understand he position then I will gladly give her the extra 20.00. I will leave it a little longer to see what other responses are and then I will make a decision based on what the majority think is right.

Lastly I know 20.00 is not a lot and at the time I considered offering it. However when she said she felt as though I was humiliating her I could not understand this and began to feel as though she was trying to manipulate. Also I felt that I made it clear want I wanted and had not gotten it. Whilst I was not upset at this, I did not feel I should have to pay for miscommunation that was not my fault. Again it seems I was wrong.

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