kirsty19

The Wife....

82 posts in this topic

Albeit i've not had that many clients, but all the ones i have had have been in very unhappy marriages. It seems to me they'd not even consider punting if weren't for their wives ignoring them sexually and romantically.

One gentleman i seen quite obviously loved his wife, had tried to cuddle her, kiss her but all he got was pushed away. He wasn't even that keen on the sex side of it but wanted more, well, love. They have no children and had been together for 20 years. I asked why he was still with her and from his side of things he still loved her and wanted things to work, had tried suggesting marriage counselling etc. But seems opposite for her - though i don't know them so could have been all lies for all i know. But i'm sure it happens as there are a lot of married punters out there. Most just wanting attention it seems.

Surely as a wife you have to be their for your husband and keep him happy? If they don't then they must know / expect their husbands to look elsewhere..? Though i guess if they too are past caring then why should they. But then why do they stay? They must be pretty unhappy too.

I'd just like to know the views on this from the punters and wgs :-) xx

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Pretty much an accurate description of my circumstances. Active sex life in the early stages of the relationship but it went off the boil to such an extend that there's very little affection etc. coming from my partner. Tried talking about it but she's not forthcoming. She says she's fond of me, loves me even but cannot express this is the normal way and needs her space so not even a cuddle let alone anything more intimate. Thus I punt.

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I was similar to that wife 10 years ago!

But have been making up for lost time ever since! :D

Best five years of my life!

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Albeit i've not had that many clients, but all the ones i have had have been in very unhappy marriages. It seems to me they'd not even consider punting if weren't for their wives ignoring them sexually and romantically.

One gentleman i seen quite obviously loved his wife, had tried to cuddle her, kiss her but all he got was pushed away. He wasn't even that keen on the sex side of it but wanted more, well, love. They have no children and had been together for 20 years. I asked why he was still with her and from his side of things he still loved her and wanted things to work, had tried suggesting marriage counselling etc. But seems opposite for her - though i don't know them so could have been all lies for all i know. But i'm sure it happens as there are a lot of married punters out there. Most just wanting attention it seems.

Surely as a wife you have to be their for your husband and keep him happy? If they don't then they must know / expect their husbands to look elsewhere..? Though i guess if they too are past caring then why should they. But then why do they stay? They must be pretty unhappy too.

I'd just like to know the views on this from the punters and wgs :-) xx

I have read similar threads on this and guys reasons for visiting working girls vary from case to case. There is a poster on here who claims to be a married woman and sometimes contributes (lindlala); if she reads this thread I'm sure she'll be along to tell us what low lifes us chaps are :-)

The case you mention is a sad one but its his life and down to him to do whats best for him. If he met another woman (not a WG) who showed him some love and affection then I suspect he'd be off.

From your perspective it shouldn't matter what the reasons are. As long as they have the money, are clean and are polite, thats all that should really matter,

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Oh no it doesn't matter to me i just find it sad and makes me wonder why their wives behave like that. it just saddens me.

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From your perspective it shouldn't matter what the reasons are. As long as they have the money, are clean and are polite, thats all that should really matter,

I may be being very unkind, but the above reads to me as: "Hey, hen! You are no' but a wee hoor. Stop thinking and just spread yer legs now!"

I think that I'm going to get a much better and more personalised service if the SP has some idea of where I'm coming from and what my needs are, even if I'm by no means sure myself.

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Albeit i've not had that many clients, but all the ones i have had have been in very unhappy marriages. It seems to me they'd not even consider punting if weren't for their wives ignoring them sexually and romantically.

One gentleman i seen quite obviously loved his wife, had tried to cuddle her, kiss her but all he got was pushed away. He wasn't even that keen on the sex side of it but wanted more, well, love. They have no children and had been together for 20 years. I asked why he was still with her and from his side of things he still loved her and wanted things to work, had tried suggesting marriage counselling etc. But seems opposite for her - though i don't know them so could have been all lies for all i know. But i'm sure it happens as there are a lot of married punters out there. Most just wanting attention it seems.

Surely as a wife you have to be their for your husband and keep him happy? If they don't then they must know / expect their husbands to look elsewhere..? Though i guess if they too are past caring then why should they. But then why do they stay? They must be pretty unhappy too.

I'd just like to know the views on this from the punters and wgs :-) xx

hi Kirsty,

I am over 20 yrs married with 3 ' children '. I am about to embark on a course of counselling and hopefully will get answers to many of the questions that you pose as I dont have them myself. A couple of points srike me;

1. good marriage / bad marriage. It is not necessarily one or the other. Certainly, only the last few years I had a v,good marriage.People often commented on how lucky we were and they were right.We now dont have that same standard, it has definitely diluted and hopefully we can really find out why with the help and guidance of an independent 3rd party.We both still enjoy each other's company, both love our family, she says I make her laugh and have many common interests. BUT we have had sex twice in the last 3.5 years --- as a result that closeness, that feeling of togetherness has suffered and when the going gets tough , we dont have that intimacy to fall back, which had been a saviour in earlier years.Even so,there is no way, I would describe our marriage as bad.

Would I have punted if that intimacy had been there over the last few years ---- yes possibly very occsionally when away with my peer group lads. On a regular basis as now ---- no, I dont think so.

Sexually , how does she think I have coped without sex with her for the last nearly 4 years, what have I been up to ? Frankly I dont know but I suspect that she probably thinks I have been up to something. What has she been doing--- I just dont know, She intimated that I " only know the half " whatever that means-- she may not have been referring to sex, I hust dont know. Blanket denial of punting is the advised policy of my married pals who punt, if ever challenged by the spouse on this issue. I think I will face some sort of query on this front and how I have coped sexually, as part of the counselling .

Talking in a general sense, I cannot understand why a wife, who might say that she still loves and indeed fancies her husband is prepared to jepordise her marriage and her own happiness by being flippant or by paying such little attention to the one thing everyone recognises is of critical importance to a man,practically everyman !

Why do people stay together, particularly when they get older ? Yes completely over-simplifying it-- they have a warm house, a roof over their heads,' the devil you know is .......... ' and you have a history together and of course the big one , the family and you do get on much of the time too !

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married for more than 25 years,very active sex life whilst courting & for 1st 5 yrs of marriage then became less frequent,i punted before marriage so just increased the frequency to compensate for the lack of sex at home.no sex now but lots of affection,we are better friends now than ever.

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Perhaps I'm luckier than a lot of the married guys on here. Been married over 20 years, never had or wanted children, and we still get on very well, a good relationship - a partnership in many ways. We enjoy each other's company, it's just that the sex side has rather dropped off, and has little spark. I have no wish for an affair (even if I had the chance), but I need to look outisde my marriage for both sexual graitifcation and a bit of erotic excitement. I feel very sorry for the sort of guy you refer to Kirsty, it must be a very sad situation to be in.

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hi Kirsty,

I am over 20 yrs married with 3 ' children '. I am about to embark on a course of counselling and hopefully will get answers to many of the questions that you pose as I dont have them myself. A couple of points srike me;

1. good marriage / bad marriage. It is not necessarily one or the other. Certainly, only the last few years I had a v,good marriage.People often commented on how lucky we were and they were right.We now dont have that same standard, it has definitely diluted and hopefully we can really find out why with the help and guidance of an independent 3rd party.We both still enjoy each other's company, both love our family, she says I make her laugh and have many common interests. BUT we have had sex twice in the last 3.5 years --- as a result that closeness, that feeling of togetherness has suffered and when the going gets tough , we dont have that intimacy to fall back, which had been a saviour in earlier years.Even so,there is no way, I would describe our marriage as bad.

Would I have punted if that intimacy had been there over the last few years ---- yes possibly very occsionally when away with my peer group lads. On a regular basis as now ---- no, I dont think so.

Sexually , how does she think I have coped without sex with her for the last nearly 4 years, what have I been up to ? Frankly I dont know but I suspect that she probably thinks I have been up to something. What has she been doing--- I just dont know, She intimated that I " only know the half " whatever that means-- she may not have been referring to sex, I hust dont know. Blanket denial of punting is the advised policy of my married pals who punt, if ever challenged by the spouse on this issue. I think I will face some sort of query on this front and how I have coped sexually, as part of the counselling .

Talking in a general sense, I cannot understand why a wife, who might say that she still loves and indeed fancies her husband is prepared to jepordise her marriage and her own happiness by being flippant or by paying such little attention to the one thing everyone recognises is of critical importance to a man,practically everyman !

Why do people stay together, particularly when they get older ? Yes completely over-simplifying it-- they have a warm house, a roof over their heads,' the devil you know is .......... ' and you have a history together and of course the big one , the family and you do get on much of the time too !

Good luck with the counselling. It must be tough for you. Made you feel lonely & unwanted. But if she's agreed to do this then shows she loves you and wants things to work. I hope it can be the catalyst you both need to start a fresh and give things another shot. :D

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The other day I started a thread about a client who in my view, crossed the line

big style by emailing me family wedding photos taken just 2 weeks ago. There were no responses to this on here but I am mentioning it again as I find it is more than relevant.

There they all were in these photos.. him, wife, sons and daughters etc, even the mother in law. He added some less than nice comments with the

pictures... as well as some smug ones too... I didn't like any of it!

This client has (had) been seeing me for a long time and always expressed his

love and devotion to his wife who rarely wanted sex. He told me how overweight

she was and there was the evidence in the pictures. He occasionally described

what the sex was like with her and he once came out with the most horrible

derogatory comments about her and her body which I found disturbing, considering he said he loved her and would never leave.

As I said in my other thread, there were other things too but I won't belabour this one if I can avoid it :D

I have finished seeing this client now. He is not happy and has since texted and put a lengthy letter through my door. I doubt he will be a stalker though

:(

He showed me that his respect for his wife and family is not quite how he portrayed it to me.... and while I know we wg's and clients do not have to

have oodles of respect for each other to do the appointments, a little respect

is certainly required on both parts for repeated bookings to go well.

I felt sorry for his wife and don't even know her.

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The other day I started a thread about a client who in my view, crossed the line

big style by emailing me family wedding photos taken just 2 weeks ago. There were no responses to this on here but I am mentioning it again as I find it is more than relevant.

There they all were in these photos.. him, wife, sons and daughters etc, even the mother in law. He added some less than nice comments with the

pictures... as well as some smug ones too... I didn't like any of it!

This client has (had) been seeing me for a long time and always expressed his

love and devotion to his wife who rarely wanted sex. He told me how overweight

she was and there was the evidence in the pictures. He occasionally described

what the sex was like with her and he once came out with the most horrible

derogatory comments about her and her body which I found disturbing, considering he said he loved her and would never leave.

As I said in my other thread, there were other things too but I won't belabour this one if I can avoid it :D

I have finished seeing this client now. He is not happy and has since texted and put a lengthy letter through my door. I doubt he will be a stalker though

:(

He showed me that his respect for his wife and family is not quite how he portrayed it to me.... and while I know we wg's and clients do not have to

have oodles of respect for each other to do the appointments, a little respect

is certainly required on both parts for repeated bookings to go well.

I felt sorry for his wife and don't even know her.

God that is awful. Are you sure he won't be a stalker though, be careful as sounds very weird. What a complete low life!! That's just sad so so sad. That poor lady, how could he love her?!

Two sides to every story i guess..

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married for more than 25 years,very active sex life whilst courting & for 1st 5 yrs of marriage then became less frequent,i punted before marriage so just increased the frequency to compensate for the lack of sex at home.no sex now but lots of affection,we are better friends now than ever.
Perhaps I'm luckier than a lot of the married guys on here. Been married over 20 years, never had or wanted children, and we still get on very well, a good relationship - a partnership in many ways. We enjoy each other's company, it's just that the sex side has rather dropped off, and has little spark. I have no wish for an affair (even if I had the chance), but I need to look outisde my marriage for both sexual graitifcation and a bit of erotic excitement. I feel very sorry for the sort of guy you refer to Kirsty, it must be a very sad situation to be in.

Both fair reflections of my circumstances. And fair to say, in a relationship that develops over many years, sex ceases to be one of the prime considerations. Other, more complicated emotions come into play, especially if children become a part of that relationship. If the sexual needs can be fulfilled elsewhere without disrupting that relationship and causing hurt, then I think that is preferable, even if deceit then begins to play a part.

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Perhaps I'm luckier than a lot of the married guys on here. Been married over 20 years, never had or wanted children, and we still get on very well, a good relationship - a partnership in many ways. We enjoy each other's company, it's just that the sex side has rather dropped off, and has little spark. I have no wish for an affair (even if I had the chance), but I need to look outisde my marriage for both sexual graitifcation and a bit of erotic excitement. I feel very sorry for the sort of guy you refer to Kirsty, it must be a very sad situation to be in.

My situation exactly, except that we have two daughters and that has definitely helped keep us as a happy family. I have to accept my share of the blame too for the spark going and the lack of sex.

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It's very easy to make quick judgements on people forgetting the incredible complexity and conflicts that must sit behind any marriage. Agree sending a total family photo to a WG etc is weird and the comments he's made don't paint a good picture, but it's maybe harsh painting him out to be a psycho stalker. Maybe his wife is a lovely person just she's put on a load of weight and lost interest in sex - he's trapped in a pressure-cooker situation: lovely home but not physically attracted to his wife anymore. There's nothing he can do about that without trashing the family and - what I think are normal male sex drives - are going to drive him up the wall. I bet it happens a lot. Doesn't excuse what he's done, but if he's a bit of a low-life to start with, you can maybe start to see what's going on.

Then again, maybe this is one way psycho stalker's start :D

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Blanket denial of punting is the advised policy of my married pals who punt, if ever challenged by the spouse on this issue. I think I will face some sort of query on this front and how I have coped sexually, as part of the counselling .

Whatever you do, when you and your wife are in marriage counselling and you're asked by the marriage counsellor:

"How have you coped sexually?"

Reply that with age your sex drive has declined and it's not as important as it once was and that if you do get the urge to look at a woman, all you do is watch one of the late night 900 channels on Sky and then wank.

In other words, deny and lie.

You must do that to save your marriage, if you tell the truth and say that you have used prostitutes then your wife might even get up in front of the marriage counsellor and leave you there and then.

Sex is not necessary in a long term marriage. A wife can be a partner, a companion, a mate; she does not have to be a sex kitten.

You have so many years invested with her that you must not risk all you have by telling the truth.

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I love my wife and in my circumstances i'm starting to believe the problem is more me than her. All the WG's in the world could not hold a flame to her and it's time for a re-think on my part. Prevention seems a better approach than the cure.

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Oh no it doesn't matter to me i just find it sad and makes me wonder why their wives behave like that. it just saddens me.

Maybe most of us punters just can't face getting old and think it's easy just to blame the wife. So much out there to tempt us though and we're only human.

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RobinBanks, yes I have read the thread so far, but not sure about the sly dig at me?I don't 'claim' to be anything. I am not married actually. I have never called any men on here a low life either.

I won't contribute cause it is all a bit boring me saying the same stuff and turning it into some kind of thread about me. I shall watch with interest though:)

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I am not married actually.

What an amazing coincidence, neither am I.

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Whatever you do, when you and your wife are in marriage counselling and you're asked by the marriage counsellor:

"How have you coped sexually?"

Reply that with age your sex drive has declined and it's not as important as it once was and that if you do get the urge to look at a woman, all you do is watch one of the late night 900 channels on Sky and then wank.

In other words, deny and lie.

You must do that to save your marriage, if you tell the truth and say that you have used prostitutes then your wife might even get up in front of the marriage counsellor and leave you there and then.

Sex is not necessary in a long term marriage. A wife can be a partner, a companion, a mate; she does not have to be a sex kitten.

You have so many years invested with her that you must not risk all you have by telling the truth.

Yep, its a tricky one. I think SKY may not be enough. I need to be able to deal with the situation where she might have some type of 'evidence', circumstantial type stuff. I might straight off admit to massages with HE.She knows I do massages and have referred to being offered HE on occasion and she didnt bother delving further into it. I genuinely think she wouldnt care about such massages. What about that ? Connected to the truth but not the whole hog ! Seeing escorts might be a different kettle of fish altogether, chiefly for the oerceived perceived risks to health.

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It is too complicated for words. Women blather on about how they cannot give sex without love and are perfectly happy to demand love without sex. They can leave us for years without sex and happily cut our balls off if we stray, whilst getting the sympathy of all the other women out there.

Not that I'm bitter

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My marriage was not equal in any shape or form. It got to the point that I wanted out, but was too scared to leave because after being ill for 2 years I had learned to depend on him and he had made it that way by seperating me from my friends and intimidating my Mother. We went for 3 years without sex towards the end. I don't know if he saw anyone else, although I never had reason to believe he did. I remember deliberately putting on weight and wearing unattractive clothes to put him off the scent.

It was my honesty that got me out of the hole in the end. We were having an argument and he asked me if I was going to repeat history and divorce him, as my parents were divorced. I fell silent, too scared to say yes, but too honest to say no. I am thankfull for that opportunity, as it was the start of the rest of my life.

There is obviously a lot more to the story than that, but I can understand why some people stay in loveless marriages. Just because one person ceases to love, it does not mean the other one has, just because things are not the way you want them, it doesn't mean it is a mutual feeling, as my ex didn't think there was anything wrong and was shocked. Just because the equilibruim is not there, does not mean there is not love. It is also a matter of who you are and how well equipt you are to deal with change, emotion and other parties involved (ie children). The last thing I wanted for my son was not to have his Father in his life. I failed.

Sadly we do not live in a perfect world and you can only do what you feel comfortable with. You have to live with yourself, but at the same time, we only have one shot at life and you can't put it on hold for ever.

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I may be being very unkind, but the above reads to me as: "Hey, hen! You are no' but a wee hoor. Stop thinking and just spread yer legs now!"

I think that I'm going to get a much better and more personalised service if the SP has some idea of where I'm coming from and what my needs are, even if I'm by no means sure myself.

I was not trying to patronise the OP (Kirsty) so your interpretation of my comments are exactly that, your interpretation.

Personally, I don't see why you'd want to divulge any personal information about your wife to a WG. Is it so the punter has someone (the WG) there to agree with him that what he's doing is ok? I can't see many WGs being all that interested in a punters marriage - they don't need to know.

My view is that you are paying for sexual services and the onus is on the punter to clarify what exactly he wants.

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There is obviously a lot more to the story than that, but I can understand why some people stay in loveless marriages. Just because one person ceases to love, it does not mean the other one has, just because things are not the way you want them, it doesn't mean it is a mutual feeling, as my ex didn't think there was anything wrong and was shocked. Just because the equilibruim is not there, does not mean there is not love. It is also a matter of who you are and how well equipt you are to deal with change, emotion and other parties involved (ie children)

A lot of people stay together out of fear of loneliness.

Also,there's the comfort factor, when you've lived with someone for years and you've gotten to know their behaviour, as they have gotten to know yours, you just can't be bothered to leave as it's too much of a wrench to your life and routine.

In many cases, Prostitution is the perfect answer, as the husband can be sexually satisfied while the wife is happy in her ignorance - but it only works if the husband takes care too be extremely discreet - as soon as the wife finds out, moral outrage takes over and the husband loses everything in the divorce.

Discretion is of absolute importance in prostitution.

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