cumandgo

make her feel valued

65 posts in this topic

An extract from May's blog today;

" If you want a decent punt in the first place, make a girl feel valued; not a wanksock you really begrudge paying for. Social skills you know, and yes, you're paying a lot of money, sorry. "

Surely most guys who make the decision to pay the money and book the girl automatically want to make the girl feel good about herself ? Perhaps the difficulty lies where the lady and/or her services fall way below the expectations of the client or where the WG doesnt reciprocate the value of the client --- then he may begrudge the money but not otherwise,its his choice !

Thinking outside the box, yes there may be a bit of ' us and them ' in punting.The guys have a craving and it can be a pain in the butt forking out big money to satisfy it but once the decision is taken and you step out on the pitch then all begrudery is forgotten until its all over !

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An extract from May's blog today;

" If you want a decent punt in the first place, make a girl feel valued; not a wanksock you really begrudge paying for. Social skills you know, and yes, you're paying a lot of money, sorry. "

Surely most guys who make the decision to pay the money and book the girl automatically want to make the girl feel good about herself ? Perhaps the difficulty lies where the lady and/or her services fall way below the expectations of the client or where the WG doesnt reciprocate the value of the client --- then he may begrudge the money but not otherwise,its his choice !

Thinking outside the box, yes there may be a bit of ' us and them ' in punting.The guys have a craving and it can be a pain in the butt forking out big money to satisfy it but once the decision is taken and you step out on the pitch then all begrudery is forgotten until its all over !

I met a lady for the first time yesterday who I'd wanted to see for ages, and turned up with a huge bunch of flowers, a bottle of fizzy wine and some nice chocs. Someone (inevitably) called me a fluffy for that but who cares, she certainly felt valued! :)

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I met a lady for the first time yesterday who I'd wanted to see for ages, and turned up with a huge bunch of flowers, a bottle of fizzy wine and some nice chocs. Someone (inevitably) called me a fluffy for that but who cares, she certainly felt valued! :)

If there a Mod we can do to the forum software so Tony's postings appear in pink?

:)

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If there a Mod we can do to the forum software so Tony's postings appear in pink?

:)

and lots of hearts,cupids,and kittens?

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and lots of hearts,cupids,and kittens?

Yeah yeah yeah. Don't give up the day jobs lads, I'm more used to being insulted by people who are good at it. (Not that it makes a mark.) :)

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I met a lady for the first time yesterday who I'd wanted to see for ages, and turned up with a huge bunch of flowers, a bottle of fizzy wine and some nice chocs. Someone (inevitably) called me a fluffy for that but who cares, she certainly felt valued! :)

No,no ,no no --- keep all that for your good wife. I dont think May meant that gifts were required to make the girl feel valued. In addition you're wreckin' it for the rest of us !! No what she is, talking about here is just good attitude but we should also expect it in return in spades !:)

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I'd rather make her feel precious, dang it she already knows I value her, I'm paying for it aren't I?

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No,no ,no no --- keep all that for your good wife. I dont think May meant that gifts were required to make the girl feel valued. In addition you're wreckin' it for the rest of us !! No what she is, talking about here is just good attitude but we should also expect it in return in spades !:)

How can I put this? When I'm on a romantic liaison I'm not actually thinking of the implications of my actions for the entirity of the punting community, just how I can make the meeting as pleasurable as possible for me and the lady. As to May's meaning, my whole attitude is one of making the lady feel special while I'm with her, and it's worked for me so far.

I regard my side of the sexual services industry as a solitary activity, not some sort of union. I'll stick to my approach, the rest of you guys stick to yours; trust me, there are far more WGs out there I haven't seen than the small number who've been spoiled for the rest of you by meeting me! :);)

Oh, and by the way, the wife gets her share of gifts throughout the year. I'm just a generous sort of guy!

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An extract from May's blog today;

" If you want a decent punt in the first place, make a girl feel valued; not a wanksock you really begrudge paying for. Social skills you know, and yes, you're paying a lot of money, sorry. "

Surely most guys who make the decision to pay the money and book the girl automatically want to make the girl feel good about herself ? Perhaps the difficulty lies where the lady and/or her services fall way below the expectations of the client or where the WG doesnt reciprocate the value of the client --- then he may begrudge the money but not otherwise,its his choice !

Thinking outside the box, yes there may be a bit of ' us and them ' in punting.The guys have a craving and it can be a pain in the butt forking out big money to satisfy it but once the decision is taken and you step out on the pitch then all begrudery is forgotten until its all over !

Social skills also involves being polite and knowing that and being hygienic are the basics of punting, and ensuring you always have the correct cash of course. The WGs side of the bargain is to be honest, friendly and enthusiastic with a great attitude, even if she might not feel like it, acting it is sufficient for me.

No idea if most punters want to make the lady feel good about herself, i daresay some couldnt care less about that. If it seems i have done that then great, if not i can happily punt as long as she puts on a good act.

The only time i begrudge paying is with a bad provider, i certainly dont begrudge paying the good or better WGs who provide a good or better service, if i have had a good or better punt the money is neither here nor there in comparison to the fun time i have had.:)

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I was made to feel special today, with someone who leaves me sweet little messages and today presented me with flowers and chocolates, despite me telling him he really didn't need to and later getting a totally unexpected bottle of brut given me.

It's the fact that they know I really don't expect it, that makes it such a lovely gesture, as I will be the same with or without the gifts and hopefully they feel special to!

ps. I think there is a slight difference in the meanings of 'special' and 'valued'. I think valued comes with time, whereas you can feel special as soon as you meet someone. My regular makes me feel valued by his actions, whereas the new person I met today made me feel special.

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An extract from May's blog today;

" If you want a decent punt in the first place, make a girl feel valued; not a wanksock you really begrudge paying for. Social skills you know, and yes, you're paying a lot of money, sorry. "

I have no social skills so I guess I don't know what a "decent punt" is, on the other hand it would appear that I know what a "wanksock" is, however I have not found either of those things to be a deterrent.

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and later getting a totally unexpected bottle of brut given me.

Pff.. And a nearly new packet of chewing gum. People will think I'm cheap.

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I met a lady for the first time yesterday who I'd wanted to see for ages, and turned up with a huge bunch of flowers, a bottle of fizzy wine and some nice chocs. Someone (inevitably) called me a fluffy for that but who cares, she certainly felt valued! :)

You are a fluffy - the ultra fluffy. I have it on good authority.:)

Btw, why have you amended your signature?

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Social skills also involves being polite and knowing that and being hygienic are the basics of punting, and ensuring you always have the correct cash of course. The WGs side of the bargain is to be honest, friendly and enthusiastic with a great attitude, even if she might not feel like it, acting it is sufficient for me.

No idea if most punters want to make the lady feel good about herself, i daresay some couldnt care less about that. If it seems i have done that then great, if not i can happily punt as long as she puts on a good act.

The only time i begrudge paying is with a bad provider, i certainly dont begrudge paying the good or better WGs who provide a good or better service, if i have had a good or better punt the money is neither here nor there in comparison to the fun time i have had.:)

No, I think it is not so much a case of making the lady feel good about herself. I think a woman really needs to have good self esteem to be a SP in this industry anyway. Rather I wonder if what May is alluding to is showing respect for the lady by not treating her like a "scummy whore" (for want of a better term) because she is willing to exchange sexual services for cash. WGs are after all just normal women rather than a subterranean species from the third rock behind the sun.

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No, I think it is not so much a case of making the lady feel good about herself. I think a woman really needs to have good self esteem to be a SP in this industry anyway. Rather I wonder if what May is alluding to is showing respect for the lady by not treating her like a "scummy whore" (for want of a better term) because she is willing to exchange sexual services for cash. WGs are after all just normal women rather than a subterranean species from the third rock behind the sun.

In the post you have quoted i should of used the word respectful instead of polite actually.

I take what you have said as not looking down on her as a scummy whore and a piece of meat to be treated as you wish because you have paid a fee. Treat her with respect which i always do unless she is dishonest in which case my respect goes out the window. Luckily most ladies are honest in my experience and those i have got to know over time are lovely ladies.

I agree about the need for good self esteem but have punted 121 and met at parties some ladies who are low on having any sadly, some build it up over time but most disappear never to be heard of again. By the way i thought i was the uber ultra fluffy on here.:);)

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You are a fluffy - the ultra fluffy. I have it on good authority.:)

Btw, why have you amended your signature?

Because although it was a bit of fun winding Jimmy up I find all the labelling people and pigeon-holing them that goes on on here rather pathetic and childish. It's not something I wish to identify with or sign up to.

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An extract from May's blog today;

" If you want a decent punt in the first place, make a girl feel valued; not a wanksock you really begrudge paying for. Social skills you know, and yes, you're paying a lot of money, sorry. "

Surely most guys who make the decision to pay the money and book the girl automatically want to make the girl feel good about herself ? Perhaps the difficulty lies where the lady and/or her services fall way below the expectations of the client or where the WG doesnt reciprocate the value of the client --- then he may begrudge the money but not otherwise,its his choice !

Thinking outside the box, yes there may be a bit of ' us and them ' in punting.The guys have a craving and it can be a pain in the butt forking out big money to satisfy it but once the decision is taken and you step out on the pitch then all begrudgery is forgotten until its all over !

Precisely. It is so so soooooo important to be in the right place in your head when you take on escorting. There is no room for insecurities/issues. The fact that a gentleman chooses to spend his time with you speaks volumes.

Of course, atmosphere is very important. If a gent has an attitude problem, the date is bound to go downhill. Hopefully, such attitudes will be detected over the phone on initial contact and nipped in the bud

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To be honest I doubt if many punters doubt the wisdom of making the lady feel respected, and valued. I certainly accept that. (Though to be honest I approach it in a very different way to some guys.... to me its got nothing to do with the bringing of gifts, for example.)

But what I'm always surprised at is punters who seem to believe that its an almost infallible recipe for good or better punts. That just doesn't gel with my experience.... no more than treating a builder with courtesy and respect invariably leads to a first rate building job.

There are some indifferent service providers "out there".... in all professions.

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An extract from May's blog today;

" If you want a decent punt in the first place, make a girl feel valued; not a wanksock you really begrudge paying for. Social skills you know, and yes, you're paying a lot of money, sorry. "

Surely most guys who make the decision to pay the money and book the girl automatically want to make the girl feel good about herself ? Perhaps the difficulty lies where the lady and/or her services fall way below the expectations of the client or where the WG doesnt reciprocate the value of the client --- then he may begrudge the money but not otherwise,its his choice !

Thinking outside the box, yes there may be a bit of ' us and them ' in punting.The guys have a craving and it can be a pain in the butt forking out big money to satisfy it but once the decision is taken and you step out on the pitch then all begrudery is forgotten until its all over !

I think this quite a complex subject. Even though the profession is as old as the hills it is not a natural thing to pay for intimacy as it combines two elements that never fit well; emotions and money. The provider and client are also both bound to have completely different perspectives on th thing. Add this to the folllowing points'

There are some men who resent paying for sex.............so they are bound to find it difficult to be respectful.

There are others who, through their inability to find a companion, have to punt................the very fact that they find it difficult to get a companion may provide a clue as to how they behave towards women.

Then there are those who absolutely don't want to get close emotionally to a woman and would rather punt than have a relationship...............how can they properly 'connect' and know whether they are being respectful or not; they've switched off their emotions. They, in my view, can never see a woman other than as an object.

On the other side of the coin a lot of guys over-compensate by being what some describe as bing 'uber fluffy'...........they want to be something other than 'just another punter'. Taken too far that can be just as disrespectful.

It's a brew that is going to lead to all sorts of misunderstandings as to what constitute respect and takes more effort than I think many of us realise to avoid behaving disrepectfully.

I think that applies to both clients and providers.

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................ turned up with a huge bunch of flowers, a bottle of fizzy wine and some nice chocs. Someone (inevitably) called me a fluffy .................................. :)

There are those that have manners, and are courteous and Gentlemanly, who make the arrangement a pleasurable sojourn.

Hardly fluffy Tony.

Then there are, those that are grunting sexual and emotinal bereft pigs whos only aim is to get there snouts into the sexual trough and feed as much as they can before their "all you can eat" gruntfest is over.

Thankfully these usually give themselves away at the phone stage, and somehow never get an appointment. "I'm growing my hair on Tuesday sorry!"

I'm not sure its about feeling valued and if manners and courtesy are fluffy then you are a "fluffy", but a bunch of flowers and some choccies sends a message to me at least....I'm a decent guy and I have manners - valuable traits for any client wanting a GFE, and because of that makes for a much more relaxed escort which - makes for a more relaxed client which= a better experience all round. IMHO.

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I met a lady for the first time yesterday who I'd wanted to see for ages, and turned up with a huge bunch of flowers, a bottle of fizzy wine and some nice chocs. )

I can think of at least one lady who on her site asked her visitors not to bring flowers, as it risks attracting unwanted attention.

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Then there are those who absolutely don't want to get close emotionally to a woman and would rather punt than have a relationship...............how can they properly 'connect' and know whether they are being respectful or not; they've switched off their emotions. They, in my view, can never see a woman other than as an object.

You have just about got me to a "T" there. I have no idea what you mean by "properly 'connect'" other than it appears to be a prerequisite for knowing whether or not I am being respectful, well you may be right, perhaps I don't know whether or not I am being respectful but oddly enough I do not visit the lady (or any other person for any other reason for that matter) with the intention of being respectful, when I visit a lady I do not show respect, or for that matter, disrespect, how can I do either of those things? I've just met her for the first time, I know nothing about her. I treat her in the same manner as I treat all other people who I do not know, like a normal human being.

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If there a Mod we can do to the forum software so Tony's postings appear in pink?

:)

and lots of hearts,cupids,and kittens?

Don't tempt me as we could also arrange for others to appear as transparent text on the white background with emoticons of cudgel bearing trolls all over them........................

I can think of at least one lady who on her site asked her visitors not to bring flowers, as it risks attracting unwanted attention.

Yes, and we could have reminisced about her a week back too!! :)

Now, unfortunately this thread has inevitably started using "Fluffy" and "Fluffies" in a derogatory way so before it gets out of hand, lets try and use alternative terms or just describe the behaviours that seem to irritate the "pay, pump and dump" brigade so much.

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it is not a natural thing to pay for intimacy .

It think the general thinking is that "selling" sex is natural, as illustrated by a study that found Chimpanzese bartering fruit with lady chimps for a bit of monkey business.

A man and his dog walk into a Pub. The man starts bragging to everyone that his dog can talk .

The barmaid calls him over and says, "So your dog can talk, can it"

The man says yes. Then the barmaid, "So, if I gave your dog a pound he would go out and buy me a newspaper?"

The man says yes, gives the dog a pound and sends him out.

Three hours later the dog hasn't come back, so the man and the barmaid go looking for him. A couple of streets from ther pub, they look down an alley and see the dog humping a female dog. The man shouts , "Cmere you dirt sod, and turns to the barmaid and says, He's never done that before!

The dog turns to the man and says

"Well I've never had money before."

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An extract from May's blog today;

" If you want a decent punt in the first place, make a girl feel valued; not a wanksock you really begrudge paying for. Social skills you know, and yes, you're paying a lot of money, sorry. "

Surely most guys who make the decision to pay the money and book the girl automatically want to make the girl feel good about herself ? Perhaps the difficulty lies where the lady and/or her services fall way below the expectations of the client or where the WG doesnt reciprocate the value of the client --- then he may begrudge the money but not otherwise,its his choice !

Thinking outside the box, yes there may be a bit of ' us and them ' in punting.The guys have a craving and it can be a pain in the butt forking out big money to satisfy it but once the decision is taken and you step out on the pitch then all begrudery is forgotten until its all over !

Nothing wrong with politeness, chivalry, social skills and consideration and all that stuff. All for it. But I think some people on here don't quite understand that they're not going on a date. They're paying for sex.

Been punting on and off for 20 years, and as the one with the cash, the good manners and the clean penis, I wouldn't mind feeling just a tiny bit valued either, next time I'm trying to book someone for more than I pay a lawyer or a mechanic or a physiotherapist (or even a taxi driver), and I'm getting the runaround from useless agencies, lying pimps, girls who lie about just about everything and post deceitful photos of themselves online, and all the rest of the stuff that makes this pastime so much 'fun'.

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