raisonneur

Punting vs Affairs

119 posts in this topic

So here's the deal. I am a long-term punter and I expect my wife knows that I get my kicks elsewhere. We are happily married, just no sex any more. But...in my little village there are at least half a dozen women who are undoubtedly available for a bit of extra-marital fun, and they aren't shy about making that quite obvious. I would happily shag any or all of them. Even our cleaner appears to be up for it (and would fulfill a Marigolds fantasy for me :)!).

So...is it better to keep on punting, with all its obvious advantages, or take the plunge and try out some local talent, with all its obvious drawbacks? Or maybe even both...

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What do you think in your heart? Do you really need someone to tell you?

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Do a tally up of your total net wealth and income and then halve it.

Is that worth the affair?

Keep the status quo ante

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1) You live in a "small" village

2) You are married

3) You are trying to work out whether it is better to punt than have an affair in your small village?.

So my question is do you want to have to leave the village and your wife behind ?, because that will be the inevitable outcome of your going down the affair route. And After Genghis mathematical equation above you could well find yourself unable to afford to punt and to emotionally distraught to have a relationship after the break up of your marriage. i.e a lose/lose situation.

Anymore questions ?

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So here's the deal. I am a long-term punter and I expect my wife knows that I get my kicks elsewhere. We are happily married, just no sex any more. But...in my little village there are at least half a dozen women who are undoubtedly available for a bit of extra-marital fun, and they aren't shy about making that quite obvious. I would happily shag any or all of them. Even our cleaner appears to be up for it (and would fulfill a Marigolds fantasy for me :)!).

So...is it better to keep on punting, with all its obvious advantages, or take the plunge and try out some local talent, with all its obvious drawbacks? Or maybe even both...

Don't S**T on your own doorstep comes to mind. The potential cost is exactly as Ghenghis described and you may not be able to afford to punt after Mrs Raisonneur has gone for the jugular.

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Do a tally up of your total net wealth and income and then halve it.

Is that worth the affair?

Ghenghis: you're forgetting to deduct the legal fees first. Then halve!

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Ghenghis: you're forgetting to deduct the legal fees first. Then halve!

And the cost of the chainsaw to cut everything in half :)

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You pay a WG for descretion. Do you honestly think these desperate village dwellers will not be able to resist the temptation of letting your wife find out. Most up for it women are up for it because they are desperate and cannot find a man of their own. They then prey on other women's men so that they can fuck someone else's life up.

Can be one hell of an expensive ego boost. A WG will stroke your ego and if your wife finds out she will be able to deal with it differently as she will know deep down that it was about sex and that sex is what is missing from your relationship. If it someone in the same circle as her and an 'affair' it is not something she will be able to ignore even though it is still just about you getting a shag.

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Ghenghis: you're forgetting to deduct the legal fees first. Then halve!

If there are children involved, prepare to walk away with 9/10ths of F/A.

You pay for a W.G. for the ability to walk away after the appointment without fear of the "Fatal Attraction" scenario.

Never sh*t on your own doorstep.

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Talk about a no brainer.

I live in a small village and cant even pop out wearing my smart outcall outfit without someone asking where I was going looking so smart. Do you really think that you could have an affair without everyone knowing?

Affairs are messy. It will never be about just sex as you can bet your life that the 'other' woman will want alot more. If you love your wife why the hell would you even contemplate putting her through the inevitable embarrassment that is sure to follow. The gossip about her in the local shop, locals going quite when she walks into a room. You know village mentality, life is quite boring so gossip is high on the list regardless if it destroys someone or not

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Affairs are an entirely different business to punting. I wouldn't even contemplate having an affair - it would be a betrayal too far. I couldn't look my wife in the eye anymore, whereas rightly or wrongly, I've justified punting to myself as pure no-strings fun where nobody gets hurt (unless I were to get caught of course).

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The ladies give good advice, affairs never end well, punting fills the needs without anywhere near as many risks. Plus it's cheaper, no hotel bills, meals etc

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So here's the deal. I am a long-term punter and I expect my wife knows that I get my kicks elsewhere. We are happily married, just no sex any more. But...in my little village there are at least half a dozen women who are undoubtedly available for a bit of extra-marital fun, and they aren't shy about making that quite obvious. I would happily shag any or all of them. Even our cleaner appears to be up for it (and would fulfill a Marigolds fantasy for me :)!).

So...is it better to keep on punting, with all its obvious advantages, or take the plunge and try out some local talent, with all its obvious drawbacks? Or maybe even both...

Good advice given by others, an old mate of mine shagged around too close to home and got caught out having an affair, his now ex took him to the cleaners.

For me punting is about having sex with no strings, you might think an affair can offer the same without having to pay a set fee, but how do you really know what the lady thinks, she might fall in love with you, or you her, and even if this doesnt happen you will have to one day get yourself out of the affair without her telling your wife, and once you dump her or her you she could become a woman scorned, not a pretty sight believe me.

IMO having an emotional attachment to another woman or you allowing her to get attached to you in this way is worse than punting.

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Where do you live ? I think I might get a paper round there :)

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I would suggest you find a reliable WG you really like and trust and see her again and again and again!

This type of relationship would then feel more like an affair, with all the added bonuses, but without the unwanted risks!

And your bunny will stay safe too! :)

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You pay a WG for descretion. Do you honestly think these desperate village dwellers will not be able to resist the temptation of letting your wife find out. Most up for it women are up for it because they are desperate and cannot find a man of their own. They then prey on other women's men so that they can fuck someone else's life up.

Can be one hell of an expensive ego boost. A WG will stroke your ego and if your wife finds out she will be able to deal with it differently as she will know deep down that it was about sex and that sex is what is missing from your relationship. If it someone in the same circle as her and an 'affair' it is not something she will be able to ignore even though it is still just about you getting a shag.

I would tend to agree with this but I would , wouldn't I -- seeing as I am a married guy. I wonder do posters here agree though, that a wife upon learning of the hubby's punting indiscretions , will not deem same to be fatal to the marriage ?

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Well I can give my viewpoint (and I will most probably be shot down as usual) that seeing prostitutes would be as fataln if not more,than having an affair.

I am positive from reading in depth on here, than men justify it so much that they believe this.

I still find the sentence...'I'm happily married but...' No you are not!!:eek:

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Sorry that didn't make sense.

Men justify it so much that they are convinced its not as bad as an affair!

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Fascinating feedback so far, and thanks for all your advice.

Two things occur to me:

First: as men, we are very clever at justifying our liaisons with WGs and convincing ourselves that it doesn't count as infidelity. I think we are dancing on pinheads.

Second: married women also have a lot to lose from an affair. All the women I'm talking about are married, with family, etc. I might be the bunny-boiler, not them! :eek:

Keep the comments coming, and thanks too for the PMs!

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Well I can give my viewpoint (and I will most probably be shot down as usual) that seeing prostitutes would be as fataln if not more,than having an affair.

I am positive from reading in depth on here, than men justify it so much that they believe this.

I still find the sentence...'I'm happily married but...' No you are not!!:)

Do you have some sort of alert system that triggers when these sort of subjects crop up ??:eek:

You have a black and white view of marriage, its either ' happy ' or ' not happy '. Problem is that there are various shades of grey in between, IMO. There are many many men , and I am one of them , where it is not perfect but I would not wish to break up in a million years. If I had to choose between punting and leaving my wife , I would give up punting tomorrow. That is why I asked the question, would discovery of a punt be deemed fatal ? Why would a wife destroy everything just because hubby had sex with a random woman for cash ? She might hit the roof,cause trouble, punish etc but to end a whole history over 'nothing ' seems ludicrous. It may be that the relationship might be so rotten anyway that this would be the straw that broke the camel's back but surely only in that case.

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Sorry that didn't make sense.

Men justify it so much that they are convinced its not as bad as an affair!

Lets turn the tables. Just say that my wife was on a trip with 'the girls ' and they hired a couple of gigolos to come in one evening for an hour and shag them. Would I be pissed ? -- you bet ye but would I file for divorce and destroy the family ? -- NO !

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Fascinating feedback so far, and thanks for all your advice.

Two things occur to me:

First: as men, we are very clever at justifying our liaisons with WGs and convincing ourselves that it doesn't count as infidelity. I think we are dancing on pinheads.

Second: married women also have a lot to lose from an affair. All the women I'm talking about are married, with family, etc. I might be the bunny-boiler, not them! :eek:

Keep the comments coming, and thanks too for the PMs!

I am a guy but i dont justify or try to convince myself it doesnt count as cheating, i dont care, i do what i wish and have always been a selfish bastard. Some of my partners have punted along with me, and gone to sex clubs, others i have sneaked behind her back. I have never felt guilt which is very useful and have had no problem with my partners shagging others, i dont do jealous, its up to her what she does, if the relationship is strong enough shagging around doesnt have to impact it in my experience, but it of course depends on my partners attitude to this.

Whatever others say i loved my partners, i wanted a relationship, kids and the stability that offered but i also wanted sex with a variety of WGs for a no strings attached time. Basically i wanted my cake and to eat it. I note that poster Lindilala is still banging on about the same thing getting on for 200 posts in, it really is a broken record, and why she (if she is a she) says i wont post again then does is very odd.

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I agree with the majority of comments so far, so "keep on punting".

Following on from your last comment.

"married women also have a lot to lose from an affair. All the women I'm talking about are married, with family, etc."

Just because the other party is married etc doesn't mean that they wont get emotionally involved and want to lose what they have for something else (you).

I recall my ex telling me to go see a "WG" if I wanted something that she wasn't particular to! :eek:

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I note that poster Lindilala is still banging on about the same thing getting on for 200 posts in, it really is a broken record,

Some people still have quite an antiquated view of sex and cannot seperate sex from emotions. Perhaps this is why her posts all sound the same.

The difference between sexual betrayal and emotional betrayal is huge. I would far rather my partner betrayed me sexually than emotionally (saying that either way I would destroy his balls as I would prefer he told me before he did it). If there is a problem in the sex department it can be fixed but if he becomes emotionally involved with another it means his feelings for me have lessened.

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No u are right I do see things black n white about happiness.I must agree that perhaps some of the men are happy.Particularly middle aged menmThey are most likely content with a cosy life.Wife doing most of the stuff ,there for family parties, get togethers,holidays etc.happy with the day to day stuff with children.I can see how a divorce would wreck this.However it seems to me that in this situation the man loves his wife like a mother almost and the wife has replaced the motherly duties.NoT healthy really.

As for breaking up the family, I think its wrong to stay for children who will one day leave. Also I try and imagine if my parents had stayed together for me pretending to be happy while my dad saw prostitutes!

I think there are a few men who want variety and are the philandering types, but most want the cosy life the same as us women. I can see this the way they talk about the girls they see, how they respect them and buy them gifts. It is just channelled in the wrong place!

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