No. 103588 - Published 8 May 2011
Review of Karina of Milton Keynes
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There was a mortise and tenon lock on the door.
The perfect companion for an irrepressible philanderer.
Let's jump forward 50 years to when I'm old & grey and my voice is as croaky as Prince Phillip's.
'Uncle Meat,' asks my nephew. 'Where were you when JFK was shot?'
'Inside my daddy's scrotum. How old do you think I am!'
'Where were you when Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon?'
'Inside one of my mother's Fallopian tubes, I suspect.'
'Where were you when King William and Queen Catherine got married?'
'Ahhhh, I was in Milton Keynes being noshed off by a slim-hipped, full-breasted Brazilian lass who had the biggest clitoris in the Southern Hemisphere; it was like a small penis with wings.'
'Tell me more, uncle Meat.'
'Alright, me lad. It was a Friday, my figs were fit to burst and my whiskers were all a-tingle. It had been a couple of weeks since I'd sluiced out the pipes and I was leaking seed. She came into the room as naked as a jungle girl, and, as luck would have it, she was as randy as a chimpanzee. When she stepped over to the bedside table, I couldn't help but notice she had the pertest pair of buttocks. I could have followed her for miles.'
'What happened next, uncle Meat?'
'I dropped my trousers and exposed my desires. She shrieked like a mouse and covered her eyes. Unperturbed, I moved in for a deep French kiss. She soon regained her composure and rubbed my bulge. Seconds later, she had it in her mouth and my knees began to tremble. I put on a rubber glove and slipped a couple of fingers up her.'
'Did she return the favour?'
'Yes indeed, she wanked me off and teased my anus. She was an eager little bundle, so I climbed aboard and pushed her round the mattress. Then I flipped her over for a bit of jockey. I gripped her with my knees and went like a Grand National winner in the last furlong. My thighs were burning! My loins were churning! My face was gurning! I jumped off the bed, whipped off the rubber and she sucked me dry.'
'So you'd recommend her then, uncle Meat?'
'Oh yes. I'm an incorrigible rascal where South American girls are concerned - they're ideal at alleviating a man's suffering.'
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