No. 115357 - Published 24 Nov 2013
Review of Natalia of London & Hertfordshire
Details of Service Provider
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She advertises herself as:
Character: Playful/Party girl
Cup size: D
I'd advertise her as:
Age: 30s to 40s
Hair: Brown roots to half way with fading blonde ends.
Size: 14-16 and very tough/muscular.
Cup size: B
Character: Talks without waiting for a reply and loves alcohol
Orientation: Straight (see 'man' comment)
This was my first punt and it was significantly cheaper than later punts so maybe I got what I payed for? Mr Bloom asked what happened on previous bad punts. So, after a few more happy punts I'm ready to review Natalia.
She curiously asked me why I wasn't having sex with her after about two hours. Take a look at my 'lowlights' below and see if you can answer her question....
She arrived 45 minutes late.
A strange woman I didn't recognise barges in with heels so high and a playsuit so short that she looked like a parody of a Wg. I cancelled dinner in the restaurant...
She counted the money on the bed in front of me.There was a perfectly good bathroom in the five star suite we were in if she was suspicious.
She necked the bubbly so fast I asked if I should order her water. I did. I asked if she needed to eat after she drained the bubbly bottle. She declined.
She asked me 'if I was going to be the man'?!. WTF??? I held up a handful of my long hair and grabbed a boob said while laughing 'what part of me do you want to be a man'? She saw no humour or irony in this.
We showered (individually). Lord knows why I showered at this point because I already knew I wasn't going to have sex with her. In my defence it was my first time and I didn't know how to stop the train. (Shaking my lowered head).
She emerged from the shower naked. I felt nothing....
She settled down to tell me stories about abusive clients. I then felt sad for her and listened for close to two hours.
She then asked why we weren't having sex and suggested a 69. I declined.....
She then thought about it and realised she wasn't giving me a good time and asked what I wanted. I lied and said I wanked in the shower before she arrived because she was late. (As if)
She kissed me. Why I'll never know...
I was sad, I was turned off and curiously remained turned off for a full week afterwards. A one night stand from the Candy Bar finally got me over it, thank god. I thought I was going to be celibate for life.
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