No. 72467 - Published 25 Mar 2007
Nothing like her photos, tattoo on upper-arm and ankle, tummy scar, weird left eye, no make-up, unattractive face, average body
This is the first time in my life that I've ever felt the need to write a 'report' on a lady... But I feel the need, so that other guys can take my advice and avoid this lady! Read on...
Owing to a very stressful past few weeks at work, I decided to treat myself on Saturday afternoon. Not having visited a lady for a good few months, I was really looking forward to this and was horny as hell.
Nicol seemed like a nice looking lady from her photos. How wrong was I, and how deceptive her photos are...
I arrived on time at her basement flat which was basic and clean, and in a nice area.
Having visited quite a few ladies in my time (in Soho walk-ups through to high-class escorts) I have a very good feel for what constitutes a good service and attitude from the lady.
As soon as Nicol opened the door, my gut instinct told me this was not going to be a good punt. Normally there is that frisson, that spark of chemistry as the lady welcomes you into her flat with a gleam in her eye. With Nicol there was no welcome kiss or even shaking of my hand. I tried to kiss her but was brushed away. At this point I must tell you that I was immaculately groomed, wearing decent clothes and a nice eau de toillette.
She showed me into her front room where she had a Fashion TV channel showing on her telly. This was pretty strange as I've never been in a lady's flat where she's got the TV on when a client arrives. Anyway, she offered me a drink "Water?" [sic], to which I obliged. I handed over my 200 hard-earned bucks for 1.5 hours.
We sat together on the sofa, and I was starting to feel very awkward. I could sense immediately that she was a very cold and distant person - and did not want to be doing this. Her English is pretty non-existent and I really did not know how this was going to progress. I tried to make some basic conversation but was getting nowhere when she was not able to understand easy questions like "how long have you been here?"
I tried kissing her but she brushed me away to kiss her neck instead.
Nicol looked very pale, almost ill, no make-up (!?) and no perfume like I requested from the agency. She had a funny smell about her and bad breath to go with it. She is a thirty something lady with a solid frame and tummy scar. In short not a very attractive looking lady. She has a tattoo on her arm and one on her ankle. NB: this tattoo on her ankle has been edited out on the photos you see on the site - and her tummy scar has been obscured.
She also has something wrong with her left eye (lazy, crooked?) which I found very off-putting.
We progressed into the bedroom where I thought things might get better, but no. As we were standing up facing each other trying to get things going, she was facing out toward the front room WATCHING THE TV! Can you believe that? This is a definite sign of someone who has ZERO interest and a bad attitude toward her client. She was stroking my cock in a very harsh and aggressive way so the skin was hurting. I had to tell her TWICE not to do this so hard. BJ also was uninteresting, harsh (involving teeth) and un-erotic.
Progressed onto sex: her on top and then mish. This was the most unsatisfying, boring sex I have had in my life. She was very distant, no eye contact, and not the best looking of ladies. For the first time in my life, I was starting go soft mid-way through sex (!) The sex lasted maybe 10 minutes, until I just gave up. Tried to make some small talk while lying on the bed next to her, but this was near impossible.
This was an experience one would expect from a ?30 Soho walk-up but NOT from a ?200 agency escort! If I had pulled this lady in my local pub I would have been disappointed - but to have paid ?200 for this, really upset me!
So I got changed, made my excuses that I was too stressed with "work issues" and was not able to perform.
I said a gentleman-like way that I had given her ?200 for 1.5 hours, but I had only spent 35 minutes in her company - hinting at getting some of the money back. But she just said "Can't give you anything back". She didn't say goodbye or show me to the door.
What is the point of Nicol even doing this work if she has no interest, but only wants to rip-off honest guys like myself?! It would save her, us guys and the agency a big headache if she got herself another job.
I left feeling terribly ripped-off, pissed-off and angry.
Called the agency as I walked back to the tube station. They seemed genuinely annoyed and in disbelief. Said I could go back to her flat to get some of the money back, and "why didn't you call us while you were still there?" But I honestly didn't know what the protocol is for when things go this wrong. The lady at the agency offered ?50 off my next booking.
Worst punt of my life, and probably even one of the worst experiences in my life.
Guys, do yourself a favour and avoid this one like the plague... the agency definitely has far better girls on offer.