Review of Lauren of All Nations, Birmingham

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Easy to find flat with a discrete door, on a council estate just off the Balsall Heath Road but not sure how safe it is around here after dark?

I was invited in by the maid and shown to a room where two Eastern European ladies were lounging about and enjoying cigarettes. I had never given the matter thought before but I pondered on the legal aspects of the workplace smoking ban...... but not for long, as more important matters were at hand.

The maid said the third lady would soon be free and I was directed to sit down. It was clear that I would not to be asked for my decision until all three ladies were available. This was a nice gesture, but it did mean that I was sitting rather awkwardly in the 'smoking-room' with the two EE girls who were happily chatting away in some Baltic language. I eyed then up and down and they were probably around 20 with the odd tattoo and body piercing. They registered on my scale as average (I have experienced much worse since commencing this hobby but, it has to be said, also much better).

Within minutes, in walked Lauren (who, as i had already done my PN homework prior to arrival, I recognised from the existing PN field report). She is a slim very youthful looking English girl who I promptly chose.

Strangely on the way to the bedroom I was greeted by a black kitten which darted across the corridor. I like pussies of both descriptions so I fussed the little animal!

Wow. This was a very enjoyable experience with a nice cute girl. However from my conversation with her it is apparent that despite her youth (she explained that she is only just 18)she is experienced in the ways of the world. Her youth makes her very appealing but I did find my conscience kicking in straight after the physical business had been got out of the way. She is happy to chat about her background and I felt a great sympathy for the girl. I also noticed that she is clearly a heavy smoker as she had lighted a gasper while we were still sitting chatting. My conscience just kept stabbing away at the back of my mind that this pleasant, and attractive, girl in different circumstances would have been a high flyer in a range of careers.

As often happens with my punting I departed a satisfied, but sadder and wiser man. So be good to her guys.