Meet Up/Dating Sites - mostly Fake?

I am an occassional Punter, and like most like the fact the relationship is clear and the mutual meeting has no misunderstandings. Having said that I must say that three of my "regulars" turned in to lovers one of whom I am still in touch with and am visiting to spend a weekend with soon even though retired.

I am lucky in that I get to meet lots of women and a hint can used lead to some fun. As I have got older and the new paradigm of #MeToo has meant that those opportunities have declined markedly, (flirting openly is verboten in most work situations now) so am now veering towards more punting but was also surfing the dating/meet up sites.

None theless I am curious if anybody has succesfully used a "contact" or "dating" site? I know of only one where a friend successfully met with women abroad and spent some time with including sex, no payments were demanded although gifts were welcomed. Wierdest gift asked for was a roll of a particular wallpaper!

Don't have any personal experience of this but replying as it's an interesting topic.

Lot's of friends & colleagues have used these sites and get good results. Positive spin is apparently the norm on dating app profiles, but I've not heard that its common for folk to exaggerate to the point where most are fake. Surveys have suggested about 40%+ of new relationships start up on dating apps these days. On the other hand, for some the dating apps are mostly a waste of time.

There was a young chap at work who uses Tinder, and seemed to get a good hit rate for casual sex. He was quite good looking though...
I've known several who have good results with match.com, though that is more for finding lasting relationships not casual sex.
A few seem to have good results with Facebook dating. In all those things there's not even an expectation of gifts, as far as I know.

There is with the sugar daddy websites like Seeking arrangements.com. It was one of the things I talked about with Daniella (@ HoD) and she said maybe as many of 1 in 5 lasses at Uni are on them now. Something I've heard from various other sources. I think there are quite a few fakers on those sites too though.

Overall, for someone like myself, a not very attractive middle aged man, with more money than time, but not rich enough to be a good sugar daddy, and who doesn't want another long term relationship, punting seems much better value than messing about with dating apps.

I guess dating apps might make more sense for those who enjoy the 'thrill of the chase' or who find non -WG sex better.


Turning to MeToo, that hasn't effected me personally as I'd already stopped flirting at work a few years earlier. Mostly as I'm not in the office much, and also as I turned middle aged and overweight. I feel sorry for younger people though. I used to love flirting in my 20s & 30s, both the fun flirting you do just to make others feel better, and the serious flirting that sometimes led to sex. MeToo has taken a lot of fun out of office life for both men & women. On the other hand, abuse victims aren't a feminist invention. You sound a man of the world Bollywood, so you probably know quite a high proportion of women (& men sometimes) have had others force themselves on them. And while some bounce back, with others it scars them so much they think about it almost all the time, it genuinely ruins their lives. So maybe MeToo is a positive overall....

Many years ago I used dating sites, the contact I found was presumptive (that because of a hobby I have I'm into men of a certain build, which is totally untrue but also an assumption which continues now!), inappropriate, rude or just TW.

I met 2 people one I'm still friends with (we never had sex, I had too many issues and it felt wrong), the other I already knew from a different part of my life - we had a shortish relationship which was very exciting however the same issues meant we couldn't continue. I then realised a suitable partner was already right under my nose, and when that came to a natural end didn't feel the need to return to online dating.

Some people do have success with dating sites, however I think people come into your life at the right time which could be online or offline - you just need to see it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 25/04/2019 09:23 by Ruth Strawberry.

I also agree #MeToo has had positive effect and it was a revolution that was needed. To many times I saw strong, intelligent women reduced to sex objects and not being able to fight back. One example, standing in bar for lunch time drink with loads of colleagues from various agencies. A friend and senior executive but also a stunning woman, was at bar ordering drinks. She wasn't wearing anything outlandish, just what I would describe "office sexy" tight long skirt with tight blouse. A very senior director of a powerful agency came in and literally stood behind her and felt her up! Even for those times, my mouth fell to the floor but she carried on as if nothing was happening.

The only question is that has it swung the pendulum to much the other way? Though I agree with women in that stop being creepy and you will be fine, nonetheless organisations have gone ultra careful to protect themselves. I, like Cuthbert, have moved along in years, and been lucky enough to be at the top end of the hierarchy, so have to be ultra careful.

I am useless with names, so rather like the late great Lord Attenborough call everyone mate, guy, Bro or love, or Honey. In a recent assignment I was pulled aside and told off for using those terms!

consequently all these factors have cut down my ability to have fun through work and am not of the age or temperament to approach women on social occasions hence getting back to the post my interest in meet up/ dating sites.

Tinder - scared shitless I would get found out. All the rest seem to use the same database and methodologies so doubt their efficacy. Rather like Cuthbert I am wealthy enough but not enough to be losing a few grand a month which seems to be the going rate for Sugar Daddy sites.

The only site I have reports of working is the travel sites - where you meet women abroad - a number of my friends have been successful and none of them are anywhere near the George Clooney looks.

Only issues are finding the time and excuses to family for travelling.

It seems back to the world of punting - only issues there are the well versed ones of quality of service and making a connection to enhance the experience.

Ho Hum.......onwards.....

I had some success a few years ago in finding an attractive woman but it has not developed into a sexual arrangement - apart from one weekend away soon after we met. It's more companionship.

I have wasted a lot of time and money on a dating site for mature sex. There are endless erotic messages from women who post provocative photos but always say the time is not yet right for them to meet me just for a coffee in a public place. I'm on the point of giving up. On the other hand, after over 10 years of punting, I have met some lovely women who have become good friends.

For example, I had an all-night session last night with one of the sexiest women I have been with. It started at 3 pm and went on for some hours before we went to my local for a meal before returning to watch TV with her stripped naked and then a steamy night in bed together. All at a very special rate. (I have been exhausted today!)

Similarly, there's another I've also visited for 10 years - my first punt ever - and we have good sex. As she came to trust me, we do things that are not normally on her 'list' and we end up finally sitting in bed together, drinking tea and talking about our families.