bizarre punting moments

1. girl took off her jeans and revealed a bail tag.

2. girl laid on bed with legs hanging off the side, while I fucked her. and she smoked a fag .

3.girl bent over with head out of the window looking at the bus roofs. while i fucked her doggie. Gloucester Rd, Central London.

4. being asked by an asian lady if I wanted a 'pakifuck' (seemed rude not to!)

5 went to see a girl incall and she had a fucking great snake in a tank by the bed. then her cat sat on my arse while i was giving her oral. She was a botany masters student.

6 went to see a girl i had not seen for a while. she had had her leg amputated.due to septocemia. still did tho....

7 shagging one from behind while she leant against a full length mirror in a hotel bedroom. she must have pushed her face onto the glass because there was a greasy lipsticky smear right down the glass and many smudged handprimts. what did the maid think? we did titter about that as she got dressed.

Been with about 1250 different escorts and very many of them multiple times and nothing untoward has ever happened (shrieks of ecstasy not included) - or my memory has gone.

Oh there was the police banging on the apartment door. The oriental escort went to open the door and while the police looked for a car owner, I had helpfully put the used condom on top of a chest of drawers and one PC gave me a look.

I'm still fairly new to the world of commercial sex and trust that I never encounter such events as Coventrypunter and Charlieton have described

arnold whisker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm still fairly new to the world of commercial
> sex and trust that I never encounter such events
> as Coventrypunter and Charlieton have described


3 & 7 were good.

WRT 1, in my years of taking pics, I can recall taking pics of two different ladies sporting ankle tags. Get them to wear stockings, and the jobs a good'un - way better than trying to remove them with photoshop.

Sometimes, while setting a room up for photos, you'd have to move the bed to position things differently. In amongst the dust, bubblegum and condom wrappers, you'd find the odd pair of panties. I always did wonder if ladies never realised their knickers were missing in the course of the day.

---

Indigo Nile of Manchester.

Bringing you the tease without the sleaze!

[www.indigonile.co.uk]

Indigo Nile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sometimes, while setting a room up for photos,
> you'd have to move the bed to position things
> differently. In amongst the dust, bubblegum and
> condom wrappers, you'd find the odd pair of
> panties. I always did wonder if ladies never
> realised their knickers were missing in the course
> of the day.

I would think it would be a mix of never noticing one of their huge collection of panties (as opposed to some men's 5 pairs of pants) had gone missing or they assumed a punter had stolen them like the perves escorts know their customers to be. (Photographers will be catalogued as so into their art, the panties filched would be as proof they took such artistically staged, well lit with not enough bodily exposure to satisfy those punter perves.)

This week, a Chaise longue collapsed during doggy with a wg.

Shower handle came off in my hand two years ago, took ages to get the thing to eventually turn off.

Toilet cistern broke and started to overflow at an orgy few weeks ago.
Same place, taking a shower and a bloke came in and took a dump.

A while back, Indy covered her uncle's ashes with a cloth before the action began, out of respect.

Year and a half ago, Old Bill walked into a parlour whilst I was in the waiting room, still went for my service even though they were stood at the desk.

I met a lovely Chinese girl in London. We had a chat and she told me she was a police woman in China but was taking a break from police work and was in UK to earn some money, improve her English and do some sightseeing. I didn't believe her until she showed me photos of her, looking very smart, in her police uniform. One of these showed her in riot gear, but she assured me this was just when she was on a training course.

My shoe flew off once and hit the guy in the forehead

Ive fallen off the bed too many times to recall, usually in a duo with the same particular girl to the point where it became a standing joke

Many others, can't really remember now though. Its been a litanny of disaster sometimes

Chloe Kisses Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My shoe flew off once and hit the guy in the
> forehead
>
> Ive fallen off the bed too many times to recall,
> usually in a duo with the same particular girl to
> the point where it became a standing joke
>
> Many others, can't really remember now though. Its
> been a litanny of disaster sometimes


Many more opportunities for bizarre situations to occur for you WG's.

Nothing bizarre has happened to me. I wish it would, it might stimulate a jaded attitude.

rationalman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Chloe Kisses Wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------
> > My shoe flew off once and hit the guy in the
> > forehead
> >
> > Ive fallen off the bed too many times to
> recall,
> > usually in a duo with the same particular girl
> to
> > the point where it became a standing joke
> >
> > Many others, can't really remember now though.
> Its
> > been a litanny of disaster sometimes
>
>
> Many more opportunities for bizarre situations to
> occur for you WG's.
>
> Nothing bizarre has happened to me. I wish it
> would, it might stimulate a jaded attitude.

You two should simply get together and rationalman's ennui will be dispelled in a trice...

You could also try changing your moniker to something a little less underwhelming in case it is self-fulfilling?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 26/04/2018 08:18 by charlieton.

Underwhelming. Seems appropriate to me. I made a rational decision to start visiting escorts.

I live a bit too far now to visit Chloe unfortunately.

rationalman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Underwhelming. Seems appropriate to me. I made a
> rational decision to start visiting escorts.
>
> I live a bit too far now to visit Chloe
> unfortunately.

I am almost never being serious if I sound critical.

rationalman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Underwhelming. Seems appropriate to me. I made a
> rational decision to start visiting escorts.
>
> I live a bit too far now to visit Chloe
> unfortunately.

Is there such a word ? I have heard of overwhelming, but not underwhelming. Has someone on the forum coined a new word?

---

AW (not to be confused with the late Mr Wainwright of fell walking fame).

arnold whisker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Is there such a word ? I have heard of
> overwhelming, but not underwhelming. Has someone
> on the forum coined a new word?

underwhelm
ˌʌndəˈwɛlm/Submit
verbhumorous
gerund or present participle: underwhelming
fail to impress or make a positive impact on (someone); disappoint.
"American voters seem underwhelmed by the choices for president"

charlieton Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> arnold whisker Wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Is there such a word ? I have heard of
> > overwhelming, but not underwhelming. Has
> someone
> > on the forum coined a new word?
>
> underwhelm
> ˌʌndəˈwɛlm/Submit
> verbhumorous
> gerund or present participle: underwhelming
> fail to impress or make a positive impact on
> (someone); disappoint.
> "American voters seem underwhelmed by the choices
> for president"

I guess one could describe a disappointing meeting with an escort as "underwhelming"

---

AW (not to be confused with the late Mr Wainwright of fell walking fame).

charlieton Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> arnold whisker Wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Is there such a word ? I have heard of
> > overwhelming, but not underwhelming. Has
> someone
> > on the forum coined a new word?
>
> underwhelm
> ˌʌndəˈwɛlm/Submit
> verbhumorous
> gerund or present participle: underwhelming
> fail to impress or make a positive impact on
> (someone); disappoint.
> "American voters seem underwhelmed by the choices
> for president"

Over Whelming has a lovely quaint pub called the The Spanked Monkey where they serve a great pint of Hoppy Ending Pale Ale.

Unfortunately the The Bell End in Under Whelming served a poor pint before it went down the tubes.

---

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 29/04/2018 13:24 by Great Uncle Bulgaria.

Strangest thing that happened to me on a punt was in East London, some student flats, obviously the girls were supplementing the student loans or whatever, anyway, they were supposedly Korean girls, I was with a lovely little girl with the most amazing boobs, firm but soft! At some point we got on to the reason I was really there - anal, so she lubed up her arse and my cock (she had this huge tub of a special lube & it was almost empty,looks like anal is popular here) I penetrated her arse and started to pump, this went on for a few minutes and we're really going for it. Next thing I know, there's a knock on the door and another girl comes in, says something to my girl in Korean and giggling her head off, repeating - solly, solly! My girl explained that this girl had a client who was asking for anal and this girl found out she'd run out of lube so she came to borrow ours! So there I am ploughing this girls arse and this other girl just waltz's in to borrow lube, I tell you we both had a fit of the giggles, and it didn't take too long for me to shoot up her arse after that!

Rob1n1984 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Strangest thing that happened to me on a punt was
> in East London, some student flats, obviously the
> girls were supplementing the student loans or
> whatever, anyway, they were supposedly Korean
> girls, I was with a lovely little girl with the
> most amazing boobs, firm but soft! At some point
> we got on to the reason I was really there - anal,
> so she lubed up her arse and my cock (she had this
> huge tub of a special lube & it was almost
> empty,looks like anal is popular here) I
> penetrated her arse and started to pump, this went
> on for a few minutes and we're really going for
> it. Next thing I know, there's a knock on the door
> and another girl comes in, says something to my
> girl in Korean and giggling her head off,
> repeating - solly, solly! My girl explained that
> this girl had a client who was asking for anal and
> this girl found out she'd run out of lube so she
> came to borrow ours! So there I am ploughing this
> girls arse and this other girl just waltz's in to
> borrow lube, I tell you we both had a fit of the
> giggles, and it didn't take too long for me to
> shoot up her arse after that!

Bareback like the other one you have told us about (without letting us know who she is so we can avoid her)??

This was back in 2007 in Bow, the girl was called Lily, she has long gone, only on AW for a few weeks, who said it was bareback! Take a day off.

Rob1n1984 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This was back in 2007 in Bow, the girl was called
> Lily, she has long gone, only on AW for a few
> weeks, who said it was bareback! Take a day off.

I said in the other one you told us about in the Bareback topic, where you anal barebacked her.

You presumably remember it among your 4 posts.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 23/06/2018 18:25 by charlieton.

I beg your pardon.

Some of your posts do make me chuckle Rob!

Chloe Kisses Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My shoe flew off once and hit the guy in the
> forehead
>
> Ive fallen off the bed too many times to recall,
> usually in a duo with the same particular girl to
> the point where it became a standing joke
>
> Many others, can't really remember now though. Its
> been a litanny of disaster sometimes


Hilairiarse!

arnold whisker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> charlieton Wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------
> > arnold whisker Wrote:
> >
> -------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > Is there such a word ? I have heard of
> > > overwhelming, but not underwhelming. Has
> > someone
> > > on the forum coined a new word?
> >
> > underwhelm
> > ˌʌndəˈwɛlm/Submit
> > verbhumorous
> > gerund or present participle: underwhelming
> > fail to impress or make a positive impact on
> > (someone); disappoint.
> > "American voters seem underwhelmed by the
> choices
> > for president"
>
> I guess one could describe a disappointing meeting
> with an escort as "underwhelming"





I guess one could describe a disappointing meeting with an escort as "underwhelming"



I'd prefer to call it ripped off personally!

Great Uncle Bulgaria Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> charlieton Wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------
> > arnold whisker Wrote:
> >
> -------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > Is there such a word ? I have heard of
> > > overwhelming, but not underwhelming. Has
> > someone
> > > on the forum coined a new word?
> >
> > underwhelm
> > ˌʌndəˈwɛlm/Submit
> > verbhumorous
> > gerund or present participle: underwhelming
> > fail to impress or make a positive impact on
> > (someone); disappoint.
> > "American voters seem underwhelmed by the
> choices
> > for president"
>
> Over Whelming has a lovely quaint pub called the
> The Spanked Monkey where they serve a great pint
> of Hoppy Ending Pale Ale.
>
> Unfortunately the The Bell End in Under Whelming
> served a poor pint before it went down the tubes.







The Bell End



That wording rings a bell. No pun intended.

Rob1n1984 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Strangest thing that happened to me on a punt was
> in East London, some student flats, obviously the
> girls were supplementing the student loans or
> whatever, anyway, they were supposedly Korean
> girls, I was with a lovely little girl with the
> most amazing boobs, firm but soft! At some point
> we got on to the reason I was really there - anal,
> so she lubed up her arse and my cock (she had this
> huge tub of a special lube & it was almost
> empty,looks like anal is popular here) I
> penetrated her arse and started to pump, this went
> on for a few minutes and we're really going for
> it. Next thing I know, there's a knock on the door
> and another girl comes in, says something to my
> girl in Korean and giggling her head off,
> repeating - solly, solly! My girl explained that
> this girl had a client who was asking for anal and
> this girl found out she'd run out of lube so she
> came to borrow ours! So there I am ploughing this
> girls arse and this other girl just waltz's in to
> borrow lube, I tell you we both had a fit of the
> giggles, and it didn't take too long for me to
> shoot up her arse after that!








Wow! Whatta Bumma! Lmbo

Years ago i knew a mature lady in her mid 40s who was an ex street prostitute she built up alot clients they just knocked on her ground floor flat window i was at her flat one day i was doing some plumbing for her after i had finished she payed me back in kindness about 5 minutes later her daughter knocked on her door she did not have any fags she asked me if she could borrow £20 off me the daughter was a street prositute i gave her the £20 for sex her mom went in living room while i banged her daughter.

I banged the mom and the daughter in less than hour.

I have not seen the mom since 2000 she burnt her flat down after heavy drinking she survived with no injuries,she was very lucky and moved a few miles away i saw her daughter last year.

I used to do odd jobs for theese street girls i have many happy memories of the red light district where i lived years ago.

I did a strange (but great) booking in october 2016 i booked an escort on hamilton escorts for 3hr incall she was called Roxanne i made the request and the lady on the phone was really nice on the day of the booking i phoned the agency for the address it was at an hotel called the royal gardens hotel in kensington i had never heard of it.

When i got there i looked at the hotel in horror it was a 5 star hotel i thought f*cking hell have they booked me royalty by mistake i estimated it must cost £200 to £300 a night to stay there i also thought what will she think of me im from central england she is going to think she is slumbing it i did have my best clothes on and leather jacket.I phoned the agency and told them i was really nervous and did not know what to expect i was shaking inside the lady on the phone told me i will be ok Roxanne is a really nice girl and likes to meet people from all walks of life.I made my way to her hotel room knocked on the door she opened it and this beautiful young posh blonde girl with a sexy long black dress invited me in i was struggling to talk because i was so nervous she got me a drink we started chatting i told her i had never been to an hotel like that before whilst we where chatting i slowly started to feel normal again.

She was great i had a really hot afternoon with a really sexy posh girl after the booking ended and i left the hotel i got the impression Roxanne was already rich and did escorting for naughty fun my afternoon reminded me of the american porn movies tonights girlfriend because the hotel room was of a high standard.

I only used hamiltons escorts once they where very efficient i regret not using them a few more times.

Was with a WG nr Manchester. It was slightly bizzare:

1. I fixed her fan that was noisey and causing her problems
2. On my way out and her sister and husband turned up and looked at me in a strange way! WG said wtf are you to doing here, I'm working! I made a sharp exit!