A very secret second-life

Ok, so the sex is right there, waiting. It's so convenient right? - An endless variety of women offering all the pleasures of the flesh. Pure heaven That's why we do it. It's why we make our excuses to our wives and girlfriends.

I was thinking about this. As a fairly reserved man, polite, decent and rather average in my average world, who would suspect me of my secret hobby? Has anyone ever looked at me and wondered if I have sex with escorts? My wife certainly has no idea (or at least I don't think so). I wonder whether anyone as ever suspected me as a punter? Do the guys at work punt? I wonder. I find myself thinking this of people I meet. I often wonder if they cheat on their wives with a punt here and there.

Of course I love the sex. But there's more to it than that. There's that sense of having a secret second-life that drives me. It's the thrill of having that naughty world, full of secrecy. For me, punting is not just sex for the body but a secretive fuck for the mind. I love the 'wrongness' of it.

I love scrolling through the girls online, knowing I can select any of them. I love planning my time, making my excuses to be away if necessary. I simply ADORE receiving the address from the escort and making my way there and the moment I knock on the door. That moment in particular is special. I feel vulnerable I suppose and so it gets the heart pumping. All those questions in my head, am I being watched? What will she be like? Etc. Then she opens the door and in I go. Bliss.

It's not just sex. It's the escapism. The secrecy. Leading a second-life no-one knows about at all. (I don't discuss my punting with anyone, not co-workers, not friends, no-one)

Any thoughts on that? I wonder if anyone finds the same - that it's so much more than just sex?

Not just a secret life for us, escorts have to be secretive as well.
Which ever side of the fence you are on, getting found out can have repercussions.

One of my regulars lost her job because of it, not because she was an escort, but she didn`t declare it as a second job even though she did it all legally paying tax and insurance on the second income.

Even if she kept her job, would have been awkward, everyone knowing about her little sideline.
Wonder if they would have sacked her if she was just working behind a bar or in a restaurant?

Don't even join in conversations, it would be a slippery slope showing knowledge. I had a work colleague who started talking about massage parlours with a wink and a nod, I just looked bemused and didn't ask.

I take the points made on here and they're guys expressing how they feel so I can't say I agree or disagree with them. It's up to them how they view their activity. The OP is married so he maybe has to be discreet, although some previous posts on here have been from guys who were married and said their wives know what they get up to. Either way it's up to them.

I'm in a different situation and in general don't give a fuck who knows what I do. I don't broadcast it to immediate family, but I've often amused myself in the past at work, before retiral, by casually revealing my exploits to selected individuals. Non punters tend to be agog at what you're saying. If they're married it's a world they can't access and they can't hear enough about it. If they're not married quite frankly it's a world some are too scared to enter into. Maybe I would be too if I hadn't been there hundreds of times and now regard it as about as risky as a visit to Tesco. There is no risk, other than the perennial one of spending money on the basis of endless fake pictures and profiles. If you can call that a risk.

If you're not married, don't have a partner, and don't go to pubs or clubs, what do you think people assume you do with regard to sex? I'd rather be thought of as a guy who still pursued it, in any way available, rather than as some clapped out old fucker who has had his day and is destined to just wither away to the grave with no female contact at all. I'd rather that 100 times more.

The OP and his covert, hidden, secrecy stuff makes his visits to escorts sound like missions for MI5. Well, that's up to him. But it certainly doesn't apply to me. A final thought. Hundreds of thousands of guys, me included, have been to Thailand and other hotspots. There's no secret about that. What do relatives, and of course friends, think we're going there for. To look at the fucking temples? They know what we're going there for. In my case nothing is ever said by relatives and there may be a few joky remarks from pals, but that's all. Fuck secrecy. I live my life the way I want to, you do the same. If you know what I do you can look at it any way you like, and I don't give a shit. Each to his own, and anyone who looks on this activity with disapproval can fuck right off.

Nesslad Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I take the points made on here and they're guys
> expressing how they feel so I can't say I agree or
> disagree with them. It's up to them how they view
> their activity. The OP is married so he maybe has
> to be discreet, although some previous posts on
> here have been from guys who were married and said
> their wives know what they get up to. Either way
> it's up to them.
>
> I'm in a different situation and in general don't
> give a fuck who knows what I do. I don't broadcast
> it to immediate family, but I've often amused
> myself in the past at work, before retiral, by
> casually revealing my exploits to selected
> individuals. Non punters tend to be agog at what
> you're saying. If they're married it's a world
> they can't access and they can't hear enough about
> it. If they're not married quite frankly it's a
> world some are too scared to enter into. Maybe I
> would be too if I hadn't been there hundreds of
> times and now regard it as about as risky as a
> visit to Tesco. There is no risk, other than the
> perennial one of spending money on the basis of
> endless fake pictures and profiles. If you can
> call that a risk.
>
> If you're not married, don't have a partner, and
> don't go to pubs or clubs, what do you think
> people assume you do with regard to sex? I'd
> rather be thought of as a guy who still pursued
> it, in any way available, rather than as some
> clapped out old fucker who has had his day and is
> destined to just wither away to the grave with no
> female contact at all. I'd rather that 100 times
> more.
>
> The OP and his covert, hidden, secrecy stuff makes
> his visits to escorts sound like missions for MI5.
> Well, that's up to him. But it certainly doesn't
> apply to me. A final thought. Hundreds of
> thousands of guys, me included, have been to
> Thailand and other hotspots. There's no secret
> about that. What do relatives, and of course
> friends, think we're going there for. To look at
> the fucking temples? They know what we're going
> there for. In my case nothing is ever said by
> relatives and there may be a few joky remarks from
> pals, but that's all. Fuck secrecy. I live my life
> the way I want to, you do the same. If you know
> what I do you can look at it any way you like, and
> I don't give a shit. Each to his own, and anyone
> who looks on this activity with disapproval can
> fuck right off.


Would you have that attitude if you were an MP or someone in the public eye lie an actor, sportsman etc where your reputation, sponsorship and income rely on you having a clean cut image.

I don't know what point if any you're making caveman. I'm not an MP, famous actor, sportsman etc. If I was my outlook might be different. But I can't see what that has to do with anything I said. Nothing at all, in fact.

Nesslad Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't know what point if any you're making
> caveman. I'm not an MP, famous actor, sportsman
> etc. If I was my outlook might be different. But I
> can't see what that has to do with anything I
> said. Nothing at all, in fact.


Up to you if you aren`t bothered about people knowing you pay for sex.
Some people want it kept under wraps.

If you're not married or in a relationship, I don't actually see why people would be desperate to keep it "under wraps". Unless they're ashamed of it or are shit-arsed fearful of what other people think. What's there to be ashamed of? What's there to be fearful of? If fearty fuckers would stop hiding in their underpants over paying for sex maybe it wouldn't have the "stigma" often associated with it. I'd say to those guys, Stand up and be a man, not a limp pricked quivering jelly.

Nesslad Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you're not married or in a relationship, I
> don't actually see why people would be desperate
> to keep it "under wraps". Unless they're ashamed
> of it or are shit-arsed fearful of what other
> people think. What's there to be ashamed of?
> What's there to be fearful of? If fearty fuckers
> would stop hiding in their underpants over paying
> for sex maybe it wouldn't have the "stigma" often
> associated with it. I'd say to those guys, Stand
> up and be a man, not a limp pricked quivering
> jelly.

Do you post on your social media who you`ve fucked ?

neilbefarmy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ok, so the sex is right there, waiting. It's so
> convenient right? - An endless variety of women
> offering all the pleasures of the flesh. Pure
> heaven That's why we do it. It's why we make our
> excuses to our wives and girlfriends.
>
> I was thinking about this. As a fairly reserved
> man, polite, decent and rather average in my
> average world, who would suspect me of my secret
> hobby? Has anyone ever looked at me and wondered
> if I have sex with escorts? My wife certainly has
> no idea (or at least I don't think so). I wonder
> whether anyone as ever suspected me as a punter?
> Do the guys at work punt? I wonder. I find myself
> thinking this of people I meet. I often wonder if
> they cheat on their wives with a punt here and
> there.
>
> Of course I love the sex. But there's more to it
> than that. There's that sense of having a secret
> second-life that drives me. It's the thrill of
> having that naughty world, full of secrecy. For
> me, punting is not just sex for the body but a
> secretive fuck for the mind. I love the
> 'wrongness' of it.
>
> I love scrolling through the girls online, knowing
> I can select any of them. I love planning my time,
> making my excuses to be away if necessary. I
> simply ADORE receiving the address from the escort
> and making my way there and the moment I knock on
> the door. That moment in particular is special. I
> feel vulnerable I suppose and so it gets the heart
> pumping. All those questions in my head, am I
> being watched? What will she be like? Etc. Then
> she opens the door and in I go. Bliss.
>
> It's not just sex. It's the escapism. The secrecy.
> Leading a second-life no-one knows about at all.
> (I don't discuss my punting with anyone, not
> co-workers, not friends, no-one)
>
> Any thoughts on that? I wonder if anyone finds the
> same - that it's so much more than just sex?

Great thread Neil.
I’ve not been on for a few as trying to do this to a max of 1 time a month thing. But finally caved to the pressure today…
What you have wrote is exactly the same thoughts I have. I’ve always been a reserved, polite, kind person. Never cheated on anyone in my life. Never thought I would ever see escorts and now almost addicted to this industry.
I do find interesting how many married men do see escorts in secret. Since I’ve started, I’ve a been in a few group’s conversations with male colleagues/mates about certain massage parlours that offer happy endings. And have to ultimately stay quiet on the fact I’ve been there.
As I said, never thought I’d do this and am somewhat ashamed to be cheating on my wife but I did a lot of research before doing this, and wasn’t a light decision to do it. It’s a strange situation to be in because in some ways I am happily married and do love my wife and have plenty of plans for future with her. But ultimately as nice as things look on the outside. Not that I haven’t tried. We barely have sex 4 times a year if that. When we do it’s just the same position of me doing all the work and missionary.. I haven’t had a bj since married and don’t even remember the last time my wife even gave me a hj. And it gets to you after a while. And start questioning why? Is she attracted to me, do my needs not matter… I was starting to struggle with depression big time and was having a physical effect on me, really tight muscles in my neck, shoulders. I visited many osteopath a chiropractor, none of which helped but since I’ve started doing this, i feel so happier in myself, my physical pains have gone.
As you says, it’s not just the sex, it’s the excitement of build up. Arriving at a strangers house to be let in by some young hot woman and minutes later both fully naked and once finished you’re on your way feeling a million bucks!

I suppose the hardest thing for me is that I can’t lie for shit. And since being married my social life has dropped off a cliffs and barely go out anymore. So I can’t just tell the wife im heading out to such and such and go escorting instead. I would feel too guilty afterward having to make up a story as to where I’ve been, so instead, which helps me keep punting to a minimum, is to only go when she’s out for the day with friends. That way I don’t need to lie as to where I’ve been because as far as she’s concerned, I’ve been home all day.

Well, it's a plan Peebles. But what if she comes home and asks, "How did you spend the day dear?" I mean, that's liable to come up in the course of casual conversation isn't it. Hmm... A bit tricky maybe, but I'm sure you've got a handle in it. Good luck anyway.

I don't use social media caveman. So I obviously don't post anything. However this very afternoon, at 4pm, I went to see a Dominican, the first outing in about three months. She was attractive, very friendly and I left fully satisfied. After a previous dismal run my faith has at least been partly restored. Yes, she was good. I feel pretty chuffed with myself right now. And you are the first to know.

That’s the thing. When she’s been out with her friends. So long as I’m home when she gets home, never asks me how my day has been. Or at least into much detail anyway. As far as she is concerned I’ve spent all day at home.

On a side note about the secret lives people live. It’s probably a site many of you have heard about already, though I have only recently discovered bloodylovely.com and just amazes me as the amount and sort of people that post content on there. I can only imagine most of which are swingers. Which gets me thinking, is there that much difference between swinging and escorting really? Obviously other than if you’re in a relationship, your partner most likely at least knows as they will be doing it with you? But yeah just wondering… But it really does get you thinking how many people do have these “kinky” secret lives…

A secret second life is a very fascinating topic for discussion. The one who leads this secret life probably gets a lot of pleasure. But the wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend of this person can be very unhappy about it. In my town (the town is very small and everyone knows everyone) one woman visited another country and starred in porn for mompornlove.com. No one had no idea where she actually traveled to, everyone thought she was on vacation. But she came back with a good amount of money and everyone started to slightly suspect something wrong. A few months later, one resident recognized her in a porn video and told (and showed!!!) it to the whole town! And guess what? Her life hasn't changed at all. Her husband hasn't left her. Except that some people look at her with disdain and some with envy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2023 20:35 by taradoridy.

Moving away from the secret life of punting/sex industry…

So about 10+ years ago myself and 6 other colleagues discovered that our boss is a secret smoker. One day, someone was looking for something in his desk and found a pack of cigarettes, we joked about it at the time but ultimately all came to the conclusion that he had recently been on holiday and bought them for someone else… fast forward a few months later and someone found some again in his briefcase , this time open and so we all got talking about the amount of times he would come back from appointments with clients smelling of deodorant, claiming he needs to smell good. One day someone had to go home early whilst he was out seeing a client and drove past him parked up in a lay-by with a cigarette.
Over 10 years later, I no longer work for him but am still in frequent contact with him and his employees, he still smokes though nobody has yet confronted him about it as we all think it’s hilarious that he keep’s something so small a secret from everyone. The only thing we can all think of why is that he doesn’t want his wife to find out as she doesn’t smoke. But then again how do you keep smoking a secret from your partner? Surely she can taste it on his breath?…
Does he get an extra kick every time he lights one up, knowing that he has kept it a secret for so many years?

As I am in a chipping-in mood today, I would just like to say that I have maintained a secret life for many many decades with no effort or qualms. There was just one exception, and that was only because I revealed the fact. The reaction? My then partner wanted to join in next time! And what happened, that very night they started broadcasting those AIDS 'gravestone' public-service announcements. So those stopped that ... but not me. More recently, after I started my orgy obsession I twice had a fright when other punters turned up who closely resembled friends and relatives. But hey, even if it had been them they could not have said anything could they?
I can also report the unsuccessful secret life of somebody else. I used to frequent a particular parlour and liked to freak the girls out by telling them that another client had once died during a 'massage' there. How did I know that? Everybody had once known it! He was a prominent local politician. So, echoing what somebody else mentioned, it is probably not a good idea to have a secret life if one is well known (viz recent TV perverts). I am well-known in my own field, but it is not a field that interests reptiles (aka journalists).

I am with neilbefarmy on this it part of my life that would be devastating if my partner found out.

The window shopping, reading between the lines, then the menu of services to choose from, the whole experience is fun and nerve-wracking, but leads to some might organisms!

Oundlegent Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am with neilbefarmy on this it part of my life
> that would be devastating if my partner found out.
>
> The window shopping, reading between the lines,
> then the menu of services to choose from, the
> whole experience is fun and nerve-wracking, but
> leads to some might organisms!

'Organisms'? Do you mean crabs?

Quote

part of my life that would be devastating if my partner found out.

Think her life might be devastating as well.

Glad to see you're still alive and kicking Moravian. When you haven't been on here for a while I tend to think... well you're here anyway. The older you get, I mean everyone, not just you at 85, surely the less worried you are about secrecy. Still being active enough to go to gangbangs like you do in your 80s, even if you have to be helped around the venue, is admirable. Still seeing escorts in your 70s shows a determination still to enjoy life. Of course some will see if differently, dirty old men etc etc but no one has to pay them any attention. I'm not far off entering a zone where you HAVE to make the most of it while you still can. The vast majority of my activity is now behind me. Hopefully there's still a fair bit to come. Being concerned what anyone thinks of that has never been of so little importance.

However making jokes about someone expiring on the job... Well you're not afraid to tempt fate, I'll certainly give you that. And there's no need on the secrecy theme to again bring up your one-off - or no doubt both off - under the table friendship with that ladyboy in the club in Paris. Enough said about that in the gay brothel post which we both found rather out of place here.

As a wise person once said, we all have public lives, private lives and secret lives and I love my secret life. AW when at home, HOD when in London. Amazed how I get away with it sometimes but I always seem to find the opportunities and no-one I know would ever suspect. I started with 2 to 3 encounters a year but, in recent years, it's been more like 2 to 3 encounters a month. As I've posted elsewhere I have no trouble finding great escorts on AW and that finding is deffo part of the thrill and I now have an over 10 year history with HOD, 10 great years of wonderful sex with umpteen gorgeous girls. Saw the amazing Scarlett today at HOD and am already planning my next AW adventure.