Review of Maya of Ashford

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Same as ever; discreet, clean, and a nice new door (which they'd just put on - the builders were still there).

Of Eastern European origin; tall, blonde, attractive, curvy in a good way. Pleasant looking round breasts with nipples that looked chewable, however... Shaved, as is the norm these days; is it just me that would love to see a bit of a tuft on a girl again like in the old days?

Maya seemed pleasant enough, if not a little shy. In the past, when I've had a choice I've often gone for the 'mumsy' types, probably because it seems a bit naughtier, but experience has told me over the years it's actually better to choose the one who looks the most slutty! Maya was the mumsy type, but as she was the only one I thought I'd go for it, so full personal for an hour it was.

Yes, she was shy, and as she gave me a massage I thought that this was not her strong point, if indeed a one-handed dry rub with the odd tickle could pass for a massage. Maya, some advice, love - the rougher and harder the massage, the better it is for the weary nightshift worker, and please, two hands next time. In the end I suggested I turn over (more advice Maya - many men prefer it if YOU initiate).

If massage wasn't her strong point, I hoped that sex would be; after all, she was very attractive, and that is always a good start. Well, I certainly got hard as she stroked my cock, but as my hands wandered from her tits to her pussy she warned me "no go inside." Once again, I had to initiate by suggesting she start to suck (w/o, and this was promising, I have to say, except she didn't stick at it for very long).

My next initiation was a 69, and she tasted good, but she didn't seem to be getting into it, and I was a little put off by her fiddling around in her bag as I got to work. She ended up putting a condom on me and so that was the end of w/o.

As I felt her enthusiasm lulling and my hard-on fading, I suggested we fuck. "What position?" she asked. I suggested her on top, and so with a blob of lube we were off. Except once again we were into sponsorship from Cuprinol; no passion, no spirit, no adventure - look, I have enough of this watching my bloody rubbish football team every Saturday, so I don't expect it here when I've paid six times the amount of a match ticket.

I decided to try out those chewable nipples, but as I had a nibble on the left one she moved sharply out of the way, so I homed in on the right, and her shoulder knocked my head away. Okay, so you don't like having your nipples sucked - you only had to say!

She moved up and down a bit more in a leaden, lumpen way before I decided enough was enough. Not only was she bored, but so was I, and that ain't right, so I demanded the boss.

I'd had just over half an hour and had lousy service, and I am eternally grateful to the maid for negotiating a ?50 refund from the boss over the phone.

In conclusion, what can I say? This is my second bad experience in a row at this establishment and something needs to be done. I know it's not me because over the last six months I've ripped it up at establishments in Feltham, Clapham and King's Cross (so maybe I should write a positive report on them, eh?), and AGAIN I must reiterate that up until last June every visit to Pandora's Little Secret had been excellent.

Girls, you are doing a disservice to the legendary Kelly who established this place, and she deserves way better than this, as she really WAS a class act! Kelly, get down there, kick some ass, and show 'em how it's done!