Review of Alicia of Oxford

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Awful. I would not return simply because of this. Although in a nice area, on Iffley Road opposite the sports ground where Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute mile (which is about 3 and a half minutes longer than I'd want to spend in Alicia's room again), the punt took place in a grubby, truly seedy bedsit with frayed, shabby bedding, dirty, crumbling decor, a "bog in a cupboard" (literally-no kidding), etc. This may be fine for some punters, but it wasn't for me. The whole ambiance was frankly disgusting and turned what might have been a good punt with a nice girl into something which felt desperate. If you don't care about your surroundings then ignore...the area is certainly safe. But if punting in a shit-hole regardless of the girl isn't for you then give Alicia a wide berth for this reason alone.

I can only say bizarre. Very, very pretty face. Small but perfectly formed boobs-the sort I really like. Above the waist, probably 8 or 9% body fat. Size 6-8. Could have been a gymnast. Then, consistent with many Mediterranean women, below the waist she appeared to be the result of a game where you intermix the photos of two different people. Probably 30-35% body fat, ample thighs and posterior. Put simply, not a gymnast. I feel a little queasy writing this description for the potential that it offend but it is accurate. You will have to make of it what you will -- I am taking seriously the need to simply report the facts. Anyway, I thought she was pretty.

I didn't enjoy the punt because the surroundings were so vile. I should have had the nous to walk out the moment I entered the room, at which point I already knew this was not the scene for me. Alicia seemed a nice girl; gentle, intelligent, and pretty...I'd date her in a heartbeat. But she's not cut out for this job. No kissing, very passive performer, I have to say she gave very good oral but altogether my impression was that her heart wasn't anywhere close to in it. At best, forgettable.

My thoughts? If I was in Oxford at a hotel and was inclined to book a dinner date, I would see Alicia again. As I said, very pretty face, generally gentle, "non-pro" demeanor and I suspect might perform a bit better in nicer surroundings. But I wouldn't go back to her flat for 30 minutes if you paid me. Thus, a qualified recommendation after a weird punt.