Review of Carolina of Kiss Kiss Massage, Central London

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An Xmas ?get together?, far too much cheap fizz, yours truly makes his excuses, falls out of the bar into the night, calls Saskia at KKM, and heads off to Maida Vale. All very welcoming on arrival, as ever.

Carolina is the perfect Christmas package ? Russian, 5? 4?, long brown hair, slim, soft and shapely. Passes for 19 in my book. In fact, if I could CGI the perfect looking woman to satisfy my desires, I think she would look like Carolina. As for her character, she was shy and deferential at first, then disgracefully rampant when doing the business.

She was wearing a giant pearl necklace - I was dying to ask if she was wearing it ironically, but her English isn?t good enough. What next? Carrying a cream pie? Dressed as a cowgirl? Sorry. I watch too much porn.

I have seen a lot of girls since I started doing this three years ago - I could have put a deposit on a crappy studio flat in Lewisham with the money I?ve spent. So by now I know what I like, and also how to get it, so maybe my success rate with all this is invariably much better. But whichever way you look at it, I think Carolina is devastatingly good ? by far the best I?ve had this year. She?s drop dead pretty, goes like a train, and is simply very, very good at the sex act. Obviously some of this judgement is subjective, but the way Carolina does it, is the way I like it. And that means I will be back to see her again as soon as is humanly possible. I keep txting KKM to ask when she is next working. Pathetic.

Details of the encounter? At one point she asked me if I liked it ?Hard or Gentle?. I said ?er?.Hard?? It turned out she meant the blow job. Trust me ? opt for this. As for the rest ? she is a wildcat. Maybe it?s a Russian thing.

This encounter led me to ponder things on the tube home. This hobby is about paying for something that is the corner stone of a loving relationship for everyone else. What does this do to a man? What does it do to his ability to sustain those relationships in other contexts? What am I talking about? God knows. I do know that when it goes well for me, it is the most tremendous fun - no strings attached, immensely satisfying, and it puts a spring in my step for days after.

Because of this, part of me assumes that escorting is going to become more and more mainstream. It?s already changed radically in recent years, from seedy street walking to where it is today ? and logic suggests in twenty years it will be like a visit to the osteopath. And hopefully available on the NHS if you can prove a need: ?My wife doesn?t understand me, Dr.? ?Take two doses of Carolina three times a week etc etc??. You heard it here first, people.