Review of Erica of Nottingham

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She had a room at the Britannia in Nottingham.

Absolutely matched her photos for looks. But was not English and did not deliver on the words of her profile.

All correspondence prior had been by text and everything looked great. How wrong. Firstly she kept me waiting outside in the cold and rain for 20 minutes beyond our agreed meet time - despite checking with me by text 10 minutes before our meet time. On finally entering her room I was pleased she looked like her photos, but she was whispering, so I asked if she had lost her voice, but she seemed to either not hear me or not understand me. At which point it was revealed she was Spanish. I tried out my pigeon Spanish and asked her how to say "You have a beautiful body" in Spanish, but she didn't understand what I was saying. Which suddenly struck me as weird. All of her texts and been perfectly written in English, but here she could understand English or speak it??? I should have left, but having already been asked to hand over the readies (?100 for 1 hour), I was staying regardless.

Her profile promised the following:

"Hi Guys, my name is ERICA and I absolutely adore Sex, so whether your in NEED of a little HANDS ON TLC or completely SEX STARVED and need a SERIOUSLY GOOD FUCKING please get in touch. I am completely un-shockable, we can try any and every position, you can CUM all over my body, on my big tits. I absolutely LOVE ORAL, giving and receiving, kissing and caressing are a must and satisfaction is guaranteed. A bit about me I am very caring and extremely attentive, have an excellent sense of humour, am very good fun, love being fucked and also have a brain, so satisfaction for the mind, body and soul, how does that grab you?"

Well talk about infingement of the trade description act. Her service was perfunctory. She gave me OWO, but with no feeling so it was difficult to get hard. I gave her reverse O, but she just lay there watching the Simpsons on the TV. For sex she gave of her body in all positions, just without passion or emotion, totally sexless. It was like fucking a corpse. Aware it was going nowhere I just concentrated my cumming and managed to do so. She immediately got off me and that was that.

But she did remove the condom for me and cleaned my cock. So again a strange dichotomy of service.

Before she left she almost begged me to leave her good feedback (suddenly her English is good enough to ask??). I asked her if she was being managed and she said no, but again she understood enough English to know what I was asking (??!!). Things just didn't ring right.

All in all a waste of ?100, which in my book is robbery, hence the field report to warn other punters. It might be what they are looking for, but they can choose.