Review of Lucy & Tina of Ashford

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Typical premises, being a flat over a cafe; clean and safe with a discreet entrance down a driveway.

Both girls were slim attractive brunettes of Eastern European origin. Tina, the shorter of the two, had shapely round breasts whilst Lucy's were smaller with prominent nipples.

Over 17 years of punting I've had only a handful of bad experiences, but this was the worst by a long way, with no redeeming features. Four years ago, Eastern European girls provided by far the best service, but of late there's been a noticeable dip in standards, leading to my defection to the delights of the Orient. However, I was persuaded back to this establishment by the delights of the truly stunning Nathalia, but apparently she's 'having a bit of a rest' from the job, and the replacements are not good.

Despite some slight misgivings I decided to treat myself to a two-girl special, and after what seemed an age trying to figure out with the maid exactly what I would get for ?200, we were on our way.

Well, I say we were on our way, but if I'd not started to initiate things we'd probably still be standing there in our pants just breast fondling. The girls were so wooden I found myself looking around for the bottle of Cuprinol.

Eventually we were on the bed and Tina started oral w/o, but to me this should involve more than just sucking the tip. Lucy then stood up and in a rare moment of spontaneity removed her panties and headed for the condom drawer. We'd agreed w/o but if Tina's blow-job was anything to go by I figured I might get more of a suck with a condom on. But no, Lucy was skipping the intermediaries and going straight for the mount. I started off hard, but after three failed attempts (was she getting her angles wrong? Was she not using enough lube? Was I just turned off by her total lack of interest?), I was Mr Softee and going nowhere.

I suggested I get things going myself, so I laid the girls side-by-side and went down on Tina, and she at last started to make sounds of appreciation, but when I moved on to Lucy, the mood changed. Her thighs were clamped so tightly together I can recommend her as a neck brace and little else. Again, she looked totally disinterested, and another disconcerting thing was the way the two girls talked to each other in their own language whilst I was trying to get things going.

When I gave up on Lucy showing any life at all, Tina started to give oral w/o to my helmet again, but the moment was almost gone so I suggested a break, during which I pointed out that I'd paid for oral w/o from both girls. As a result, Lucy started oral w/o, but like Tina concentrated on the bell-end only. When a beautiful girl is sucking your cock and you can't get even a sniff of an erection, you know something is wrong, so I called a halt to the whole sorry episode and complained bitterly about their seeming lack of desire, interest and eroticism.

I asked the maid for half my money back, and after a call to the boss I got a ?50 refund - not exactly satisfactory, especially when you consider I didn't have sex with either girl, but it's better than nothing, and I feel that a warning to others on here and the comments I left in their guest book may mean Karma will have its way eventually.

I must stress that this establishment has NEVER let me down before, and indeed Nathalia has provided me with some of my best sessions ever, but this was one experience I could not let pass without comment. In a word, awful.