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No. 123101 - Published 25 Aug 2016

Review of Hana of London

Details of Visit
Location 2:Marylebone
Type of Visit:Incall
Date and Time of Visit:Mon 22 Aug 2016 17:00
Duration of Visit:1 Hours
Amount Paid:130

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The Premises
Dark basement flat
The Lady
Heavily made-up plain oriental woman of indeterminate age
The Story
It used to be an iron law of punting that there were two kinds of oriental escort agency.

The first kind comprised those with a selection of genuine but homely Thai ladies, many of whom had a larger endowment than the average punter.

The second kind comprised those with a stunning selection of impossibly pretty Japanese girls. But as they say, if a thing seems too good to be true, it usually is. And indeed none of the pictures were ever genuine. Instead, one would in reality be confronted with some rancid creature that I would not touch if you were to pay me.

However, that was a few years ago. Things have moved on in the punting world and mostly for the better. The vast majority of western agencies have genuine pictures, with at worst the odd touch of photo-shopping. It is rare indeed to book an Eastern European girl through a London agency only to be presented with somebody completely different.

Sadly, however, the same cannot be said of the oriental agencies as I found out to my cost yesterday, though to be fair to me, there were two factors that led me to think that “Hana” might actually be the genuine article.

The first was that her web page on backpage.com went out of its way to boast that her pictures were “genuine” and when I double checked on the phone I was reassured that the photos were indeed of her. It is one thing to put up fake photos, but then to boast that they are genuine seems almost perverse in its dishonesty.

The second was that a Tineye search of Hana’s photos reassuringly came up with no matches. So perhaps her photos were indeed of her, rather than stolen from some obscure Japanese porn site.

So off I trotted to a basement flat in Wyndham Street just south of Marylebone Station with some faint hope that the slim and pretty girl I had been promised, might actually be the one that answered the door. But it was not to be. Lurking on the other side of the darkened threshold of the world’s darkest basement flat was what appeared to be the same hideous crone I recalled from the last time I make this mistake. No doubt it was not the same women, but the genre was familiar. Short, dumpy and probably older than me. Her one feminine virtue was that, at least on initial inspection she did not appear to have a penis.

Oscar Wilde is said to have remarked “To err once is human. To err twice is careless”. I dread to think what he would have thought of me. Anyway, be warned. I subsequently found a number of similar adverts on backpages.com. They all used a similar blurb. So it can safely be assumed that any advert for a pretty oriental girl on that website is as bent as the proverbial nine bob note.
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