Review of Phoenix Party of The Phoenix Club, The Ultimate Adults Club, London

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Well appointed 3 bed apartment near Lancaster Gate Tube.

7 attractive ladies exactly as detailed on their excellent website.

OK, so what is the Lady Marmalade experience? Is it a one-off must do which any punter worth his salt has to tick off his personal 'to do before you die' list or is it something so unique and special, that, once tasted, most other mongering experience pale in comparison?

Having recently lost my LMP cherry, my own personal jury is still out. Being quite a squeamish sort who balks at accepting sweaty seconds let alone sodden sixths, how would I react to the sharing of seven ladies amongst fourteen panting guys on one of the hottest, most humid afternoons of the summer?

Well, at least I didn't curl into the foetal position and hide in a cupboard which had occurred to me when I considered my reaction to thirteen other hairy arsed geezers with variously proportioned dangly bits competing for 14 willing orifices (I concluded early on that penetrative ass play was not on the menu but this assumption may well be totally erroneous).

But I need not have worried. The first sight of a tight bodied siren seductively beckoning me to fuck her tonsils and little head immediately took over business and we were away. This despite the fact that some early bird was getting close to a vigourish finish behind her. After which I had her to myself for all of 5 minutes which I took full advantage of in various positions and enjoying my first happy outcome of the afternoon in her skilful mouth. Hello and thank you Antonia, you little darling.

The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a blur with all the girls figureing at one time or another and famously at the death I had five of them trying valiantly to coax more out of my poor shrivelled nuts. Its probably invidious to award medals to any particular lady but Yolanda and Izabella have to be mentioned in despatches.

The real star of the event has to be MC Emma who ensures that every man does his duty and every girl do not disappear for too long upstairs on fag breaks!

Would I go back? Probably particularly as it has to be the best value guaranteed raunchy shag to be had in this town. I was briefly tempted by the ?70 alternative on offer elsewhere but you get wot u pay for in this life and I suspect that the ratios are ridiculous and the girls of dubious quality, something which cannot be said of