Review of Avaline of House of Divine, London

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All perfectly civilised, as usual. It's like visiting a health club, only you end up getting f*****d. (Rhianna: if you read these reviews: you are becoming far too charming, professional and sexy for my liking. Please give up being the HOD receptionist, get back in the saddle, and let me make mad, passionate love to you? Thanks.)

‘Slim, and naturally stacked’. Wasn’t that a PN forum thread a while back? Take it from me – it these two words, plus ‘pretty’, ‘really petite’, and ‘looks about 19’, are at the top of your list then get down to South Kensington.

After a punting break of many weeks, that rarest of rare things - a fine spring day in the capital - propelled me towards South Kensington, with a literal spring in my step, and dark deeds on my mind. (Does everyone else have a script should they meet someone on the tube that they know? "Hello Mr P! What a coincidence! Where are you off to?" I do. So I don't drop the ball, stutter and reply "Er...just going to...just going to...pay a woman to have sex with me. Oh, bollocks!")

Avaline is right up my street. I could have got my rocks off just watching her undress. Marvellous. There is something entirely magical about shagging such a prime specimen of womanhood.

However, Pixie she isn't. If you want the raunchy stuff, then she doesn’t do any of it. Other reviewers have commented on that. I didn’t get bolshie when the services listed on the Divine website (principally COB and OWO) were not on offer. Maybe I should have done, and maybe they would be on offer. I was desperate to come on those sensational boobies, but no joy. Actually, I did ask for this, so the website is wrong.

And she does ‘fiddle about’. There was the plugging in of a fan heater at the start – fan heater? – then fiddling about during our congress, in ways which in isolation mean nothing, but which together combined could have killed the mood. Someone needs to have a little chat with her - if she had more of the coquette about her, men would be falling at her feet. But see the point (above) about the boobs. They have the power to overcome all distractions.

And I must say, receiving ‘Oral With’ – at which she is very good - from such a hottie was actually perfectly OK. Interesting. Interesting.

The last girl I saw with this slim, busty, teenage look, was Carolina at Kiss Kiss Massage. But she was also fabulously filthy. Maybe Avalina will go that way too. In which case I will have found my new favorite WG. I shall return in a few weeks to see how the land lies.

PS Pixie doesn’t fiddle about. Pixie ravishes you from the get-go.