Review of Honey of Guildford Gems, Camberley

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Currently based in a nice, warm, clean flat, right opposite RMA Sandhurst in Camberley. (I wonder if the Ginger Prince paid them a visit when he was there?) Plump young maid opens the door. Place needs a bit of HOD gloss to make an old monger like me properly happy.

Late 20’s? Lots of hair extentions and makeup. Patchy fake tan. Big, slightly droopy boobs. Sexy in a whorish way. Which is handy, bearing in mind what she does for a living.☺. Nice arse. Hard to rate her, as the punt didn't really work, but she's probably not my cup of tea. She delivers those key lines with rather flat, almost west midlands-y, vowels, viz. ‘Oh baby, put your big cock in my hole’ etc. I always want to laugh when English girls do this. She’s got a lot of reviews on PN – in MK and HOD London – and she seems to deliver when a PSE has been bought and paid for.

I’ve been aware of Guildford Gold for a while, and their new incarnation Guildford Gems in Camberley. I did patronise them in Guildford a few a few times years ago – nothing to write home about, pricing based on lots of ‘extras’ so quite pricey – but I’ve not been for ages. They seem to have a few of the HOD lovelies on their books, and I was in the area with £50 in my pocket, I thought I would check them out for future reference. The prospect of getting my hands on Pixie or Ella for £50? Got to be worth a try, I thought.

The experience was - on balance – moderately bonkers.

Firstly, when you book, you are told to go and park up in the big Camberley shopping mall thingy. It’s called something beginning with ‘A’. I want to say “Amish”, but that must be wrong. Then a call directs you to Starbucks, then another call takes you to the flat. I rather enjoyed this secretive approach – I had time on my hands, and I got to see Camberley High Street (yes, it is as shit as all the other high streets in this part of the world) But maybe next time, just text me the address?

Secondly – the other girl on duty, Mira, bounced in to the room at the start, stark naked, to get something from Honey. Big boobs. Looked pretty hot. I realise I love it when a naked girl runs into a room where there is already a naked girl. And I, too, am there.☺. There followed a brief, naughty, discussion about what would happen if I booked them together. I nearly ran out to an ATM. Jesus. I think I want a threesome. All those tits. Coming at me from every angle. I sense this could be a game changer.

Thirdly – the ‘£50 for half an hour’ is clearly meant to be a starting point. The punter is really expected to spend more. For £50, all you can expect is a rather desultory tug and a short poke. Not even a little suck or a cheeky tit wank. That’s OK, but maybe don’t keep banging on about it during the punt? I genuinely only brought £50 with me! Flirt with me, entice me, tease me, and I will come back and spend £100. That’s how it works.

I’ve gone with a ‘neutral’ score, as I sense Honey might transform if you pay for the extras. But as it stands, it was pretty grim. I was in and out inside 20 minutes. (Sorry Honey. I think you may have it in you to be a rather good prostitute. But I guess I will never know)

Can this punt count as me ‘taking one for the team’? and again,☺