Review of Vanessa of Venus Sauna, Glasgow

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the venue is a bit like one of those streets after the blitz where there is only one house left. Spectacularly grotty both outside and in.

lithuanian vanessa, slim, great legs, friendly and not unattractive

rather bonkers experience. scary madam behind a grill takes your ?10 entry fee, then into a room full of sofas clearly taken from skips. If you sit for long, which I did, you will see a series of largely taciturn scotsmen coming and going. All of whom should really lose a bit of weight. Ladies generally grumpy ? can't blame them ? and have a been-round-the-block-a-few-times look. After a free glass of 'irun bru', I hooked up with vanessa, who took me upstairs to a room which mirrored the rest of the building. We had a short but vigorous sucking/shagging session, with all sorts of restrictions - ?i don't do this/don't do that/that'll cost you ?10 extra? you know the sort. In and out of the bedroom in under 15 mins. But on reflection, the whole experience was rather fun ? or maybe it was actually a bit scary and that was the fun bit. It had a kind of heritage centre feel - maybe Glasgow Council should just arrange for the whole thing to move to Beamish. But wild horses would not get me back in there!